[real-eyes] Re: Helpdesk Rules
- From: "Orlowski, Todd P" <todd@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <real-eyes@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Fri, 19 Jan 2007 06:31:59 -0600
Oh you have bodies barried too LMAO
----- Original Message -----
From: "Ben Blagg" <bblagg@xxxxxxxxx>
To: <real-eyes@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Friday, January 19, 2007 6:26 AM
Subject: [real-eyes] Re: Helpdesk Rules
>I remembaerr where all the bodies were buried. But I'm not tellin.
> Ben Blagg
>
> Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep
> voting on what to have for dinner.
> ---James Bovard
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Chip Bloch" <Chip.Bloch@xxxxxxxxx>
> To: <real-eyes@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
> Sent: Thursday, January 18, 2007 8:12 AM
> Subject: [real-eyes] Re: Helpdesk Rules
>
>
>> I don't know Andrea. I remember sometimes when, your former students,
>> Suzanne Snow and Chip Bloch, pushed a button or two of yours.
>>
>> >>> "Andrea Breier" <abreier@xxxxxxxxx> 1/17/2007 10:47 PM >>>
>> Wow, I think this might be to stressful of a job if this is it's
>> result. I
>> worked for 13 years training newly blind students and they were having
>> to
>> learn new adaptive stuff to boot and I don't think their lack of
>> knowledge
>> ever made me feel this angry with my paying customers.
>>
>> Andrea Breier, President, Heartland Guide Dog Users
>>
>> "Do you think I am trying to make people accept me? No, God is the One
>> I am
>> trying to please. Am I trying to please people? If I still wanted to
>> please
>> people, I would not be a servant of Christ." (Galatians 1:10)
>>
>>
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Orlowski, Todd P" <todd@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>> To: "Sue Lednicky" <lednickys@xxxxxxxxxx>; "Miah" <nrh@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>;
>>
>> "MaryCatherine Vollmer" <mcvollmer@xxxxxxxxx>; "Kelly Stannfield"
>> <kstannfield@xxxxxxxxx>; "JC" <jc@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>; "Chris Naylor"
>> <fredricknaylor@xxxxxxxxxxx>; "Connie Schmeckel"
>> <connie_ss_speed@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>; "Brandie" <deaftaz14@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>> Cc: <real-eyes@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>> Sent: Wednesday, January 17, 2007 8:56 PM
>> Subject: [real-eyes] Helpdesk Rules
>>
>>
>> I figured you all might enjoy these! I have actually had some of these
>>
>> happen like the 50 degit hex number.
>> These are the unwritten rules from the highly over worked, but highly
>> under
>> paid technical support staff at an Internet service provider near
>> you...
>>
>> 1. DO NOT talk over me. Listen damn it, you can't do what I tell you to
>> do
>> constantly jabbering bullshit over me. I talk... you do. Why did you
>> even
>> ask me a question if you are going to fucking answer it?
>>
>> 2. DO NOT call me and then put me on hold. You called me, genius. You
>> want
>> my help, stay on the fucking line and listen. We have much better
>> things to
>> do than talk to you anyway.
>>
>> 3. DO NOT read long error messages to me unless I ask you to. Do you
>> honestly think we get anything out of a 50 digit hex number???
>>
>> 4. DO NOT start off a call by saying anything in the neighborhood of
>> "hi,
>> how's it going" or "busy today?" That just serves to piss us off. Get
>> to the
>> problem so we can get you off the phone. The day was great until I had
>> to
>> start answering your totally moronic questions.
>>
>> 5. DO NOT get pissed when we tell you that your system is royally
>> fucked. We
>> didn't fuck it up. It wasn't us. We're simply telling it like it is.
>>
>> 6. DO NOT call about unrelated products. We DO NOT know the intimate
>> details
>> of every piece o' shit shareware program you dredge out of the
>> internet. Nor
>> do we want to. Stop it!
>>
>> 7. We DO NOT manufacture modems, write e-mail programs or engineer
>> browsers.
>> If something in this arena goes wrong, call the people who made the
>> goddamned thing. YOU DON'T USE THE INTERNET TO FAX!!! Can't stress that
>> one
>> enough.
>>
>> 8. DO NOT compare us to AOL when something goes wrong with your
>> connection
>> to us. If you had the computer literacy of an 8 year old with a broken
>> Atari
>> 2600 you'd know better. Everyone else connects just fine. It's just
>> you.
>> Keep that in mind. It's just you.
>>
>> 9. DO NOT call simply for the purpose of giving us your thoughts on the
>>
>> content of our homepage or to request that we send you flyers so you
>> can
>> pass them out at bridge tournaments and bingo night. Not only is this a
>>
>> waste of our time, but it encourages just the type of user tech support
>> reps
>> fear most... the elderly.
>>
>> 10. DO NOT make us sit there on the phone while you tip toe through
>> setup
>> instructions so easy they were originally tested on lab chimps. We have
>>
>> better things to do than act as zoo keepers.
>>
>> 11. DO NOT call us and complain about a problem with your system and
>> then
>> say you're not in front of your computer when we try and help you. We
>> aren't
>> technological psychics.
>>
>> 12. DO NOT call us assuming the problem you're experiencing is our
>> fault. If
>> your computer crashes, performs illegal operations, gives you the blue
>>
>> screen of death, or flips you off and runs away with the fucking
>> toaster to
>> Mexico, you can be damn certain it isn't us who caused it.
>>
>> 13. DO NOT call us and announce to us that you don't know anything
>> about
>> computers. This really pisses us off. Trust me, we're well aware of
>> that
>> fact. We figured it out the minute you called and announced "help, the
>>
>> internet
>> is broken!" Something here definitely needs help. People who know
>> computers
>> don't call us.
>>
>> 14. DO NOT call us and act as if you know all that are computers and
>> that
>> you're doing us a favor by gracing us with your call. This pisses us
>> off
>> more than 13. Chiming in with stupid suggestions and comments only
>> increases
>> the already tremendous temptation we face to use you as an unwitting
>> instrument of destruction and really do some damage to your system. Not
>> that
>> you'd notice.
>>
>> 15. DO NOT (in addition to 14) say acronyms you don't know the meaning
>> of or
>> even what they are for. Just admin your completely lost and leave the
>> techno
>> bullshit to us.
>>
>> 16. DO NOT call in if you can't speak English. This might seem like a
>> small
>> thing to you, but we find it just a tad annoying when we try and assess
>> your
>> problem and we can only understand every fifth word you say. And no,
>> just
>> because those words may be 'computer' or 'broken' doesn't absolve you
>> of the
>> offense.
>>
>> 17. DO NOT call in hoping to get another tech rep to tell you something
>>
>> different than the first one did. If one of us tells you your system is
>>
>> fucked, it's fucked. The second guy is going to simply look at the log
>> and
>> tell you the same thing, it's fucked. That is of course unless you
>> really
>> piss him off and then he's going to make sure your computer has the
>> functionality of a house plant.
>>
>> 18. DO NOT be stoned or drunk when you call us. You wouldn't think this
>>
>> would need to actually be said, but believe me it's come up. For god
>> sakes,
>> if you can't control yourself and must call, at least have the common
>> courtesy to offer us some of what you're on.
>>
>> To subscribe or to leave the list, or to set other subscription
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>> to www.freelists.org/list/real-eyes
>>
>>
>>
>> --
>> No virus found in this incoming message.
>> Checked by AVG Free Edition.
>> Version: 7.1.410 / Virus Database: 268.16.13/632 - Release Date:
>> 1/16/2007
>>
>>
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>>
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>>
>>
>> --
>> No virus found in this incoming message.
>> Checked by AVG Free Edition.
>> Version: 7.5.431 / Virus Database: 268.16.14/637 - Release Date: 1/18/07
> 1:03 PM
>>
>>
>
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>
>
>
>
> --
> No virus found in this incoming message.
> Checked by AVG Free Edition.
> Version: 7.5.432 / Virus Database: 268.16.14/637 - Release Date: 1/18/2007
> 1:03 PM
>
>
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