[modeleng] Humour 100% - YAK (see if this gets past the firewalls!)
- From: The Sheppard Residence <peter@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: modeleng@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Fri, 08 Oct 2004 15:28:56 +0100
Apologies for the language near the bottom, but it spoils the joke if
it's left out.
Cheers
Peter
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Have you ever been asked to give 110% ?
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint, it is possible... they are only
numbers after all. It is easy to ask for 110% of last years sales
performance or 113% of last
years margin contribution..... everyone comprehends that.
BUT.... What does it mean to GIVE more than 100%? Even wonder about
those people who say that they are giving more than 100%? We have all
been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How
about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here is a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these
questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
but:
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E-
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
and:
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND.... Look how far ass kissing will get you
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while Hardwork and
Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it is the
Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top!
Hmmmm
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