[modeleng] Re: **SPAM: Humour 100% - YAK (see if this gets past the firewalls!)
- From: "Clif Walker" <clif.gwr@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <modeleng@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sun, 10 Oct 2004 11:47:08 +0100
Hi Pete,
Had an old colleague of yours Dave Bliss round the other day.I sold him some
riding car bogies via E-Bay.
Regards
Clif
----- Original Message -----
From: "The Sheppard Residence" <peter@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: <modeleng@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Friday, October 08, 2004 3:28 PM
Subject: **SPAM: [modeleng] Humour 100% - YAK (see if this gets past the
firewalls!)
> Apologies for the language near the bottom, but it spoils the joke if
> it's left out.
>
> Cheers
>
> Peter
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------
----
>
> Have you ever been asked to give 110% ?
>
> From a strictly mathematical viewpoint, it is possible... they are only
> numbers after all. It is easy to ask for 110% of last years sales
> performance or 113% of last
> years margin contribution..... everyone comprehends that.
>
> BUT.... What does it mean to GIVE more than 100%? Even wonder about
> those people who say that they are giving more than 100%? We have all
> been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How
> about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
>
> Here is a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these
> questions:
>
> If:
>
> A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
>
> Is represented as:
>
> 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
>
> then:
>
> H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
> 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
>
> and
>
> K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
> 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
>
> but:
>
> A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E-
> 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
>
> and:
>
> B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
> 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
>
> AND.... Look how far ass kissing will get you
>
> A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
> 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
>
> So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while Hardwork and
> Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it is the
> Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top!
> Hmmmm
>
> MODEL ENGINEERING DISCUSSION LIST.
>
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