[lit-ideas] Re: Moist breasts and the it girl's bleached beauty
- From: David Ritchie <ritchierd@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Wed, 24 Nov 2004 20:38:30 -0800
Good luck with your cooking. At our house the debate is between the briner=
s
and the non-briners. The briners believe that fashion is a good guide.
Everyone currently brines, just as everyone once deep-fried; therefore
brining must be good. The non-briners have read the New York Times' scienc=
e
guy on cooking, who states that all brining does is cause the meat to add
water, and salt water at that. The New York Times guy suggests uncovering
the turkey and leaving it in the fridge to dry it out. Somehow, he thinks,
this will lead to more moist breasts. It is also his firm opinion that
breasts should be iced before being inserted into anything metallic, like a=
n
oven. I have no opinion on this issue. I will reveal, however, that after
it spread infection throughout our refrigerator, our turkey is currently
sitting naked in the corner of the fridge, drying out for science. How did
it spread said infection? There was a hole in the bag and so when it
defrosted today, its fluids overflowed where fluids carrying bacteria ought
not to go. Our fridge currently smells beautifully of bleach. Is there a
more appetizing smell in the entire universe?
By this evening I was certainly ready to relax a bit. I have fixed all
lights around the house, making sure that our steps are now stumble-free an=
d
that one can traipse all the way to the garbage without wondering whether o=
r
not the dog has left a problematic present along the way. I have replaced
our doorbell with one that people have some chance of finding, a lighted
one, a big blue-ish one, a modernist beauty. How pass=E9. I have added sola=
r
lighting to our pathway, again in the hope that our friends' mother and
other older folk will find their way from road to door without unnecessary
detours through bushes, also horizontal episodes.
I have had my second physical therapy appointment, in which it was conclude=
d
that a vertabrae is being donkey-ish about where it sits in relation to all
others. Ultrasound was employed and rats were sacrificed, all in the name
of science. Yet I remain skeptical. The fellow suggested chiropractic
treatment and acupuncture, but necromany and voodoo, having fallen currentl=
y
from fashion, were never mentioned.
He is a good fellow. He spent much of the session recommending to me, "Lov=
e
Actually," which he said was co-written by one of the people who wrote the
"Black Adder" episodes. I was convinced that I ought to give it a try.
Have you seen this?
May your pumpkins, if you have any, and in-laws prove compatible. I'm
facing a Thanksgiving with Pictionary once again. Where are the fools,
wits, and horses when one wants them?
The reference is to "Only fools and horses..." which is a British sitcom
that is to me some kind of totem of foreigness. The show began after I lef=
t
Britain. Everyone in Britain seems to think that the show is funny. I
don't. Instead, in this land, I am about to give thanks for Puritains.
David Ritchie
Portland, Oregon
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