[lit-ideas] Re: Memorial to the Unknown Tree
- From: Eric Yost <NYCEric@xxxxxxxxxx>
- To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Thu, 11 Nov 2004 20:51:46 -0500
Jack Huckaboomloo,
Associate Partner,
Laurels-Swan-Locust, Inc.
Memorial to the Unknown Tree by David Ritchie Foundation
1611 Memorial to the Unknown Tree Road
Ritchie, VA 20010
The Pretty Reverend Shelby Coote
St. Beowulf's Priory
12 Reformation Road
Burminster-by-Gum
Yorkshire, UF8 2ME
Dear Rev. Pretty Coote:
Thank you for writing to the Memorial to the Unknown Tree by David
Ritchie Foundation. Responding to your requests is, after all, a living
that keeps me from state-operated MICA residences. . . even though it
saps energy and far too much time from my true calling, Balinese
dancing, the Legong and Barong I know so well.
I have forwarded your request for charitable memorabilia to Mr. Ritchie,
who, I am pleased to relate, was most amenable. He strongly believes
that a terrible work of art can have no finer outcome than helping to
provide a few oak beams for a medieval chapel.
Arriving via intercontinental freight in a few days, will be a fine
Elder tree box containing Charles Saatchi, compressed under the enormous
pressure of 3.5 million atmospheres. This miracle of high-pressure
physics will reveal to your donors a rich variety of transitions and
behavior providing fundamental insight into the physics of van der Waals
and H-bonds, and additionally serve to model their studies of high
pressure on magnetic ordering and on mixed molecular systems (with
relevance to planetary modeling), high-pressure polymerization and the
search for new materials. I suggest that bidding should start at several
hundred pounds.
Let me stress that under no circumstances are you or your staff to
attempt to open the box. Due to the kinetics of phase transitions,
Charles Saatchi may undergo a surprising, exothermic, and quite messy
inelastic scattering from the dynamics of repressurization.
Again, let me extend Mr. Ritchie's best wishes for you and for the
efforts you make on behalf of St. Beowulf's. And now back to my barong!
Yours sincerely,
Jack Huckaboomloo,
Associate Partner,
Laurels-Swan-Locust, Inc.
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