[lit-ideas] Einstein -Scene 2

  • From: Eric Yost <mr.eric.yost@xxxxxxxxx>
  • To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Tue, 01 Nov 2005 00:48:17 -0500


Swiss Patent Office. Night.

EINSTEIN: And so I told him, either the cat is dead [pulling deeply on joint] ...

MAN: Yeah?

EINSTEIN: [exhaling a huge cloud of smoke] Oh that was too-oo much. [Einstein coughs and doubles up coughing]

MAN: Take it easy, dude. Bogart is still an infant.

EINSTEIN: Whew yeah.

[silence as the smoke cloud settles around them]

MAN: You bring your violin?

EINSTEIN: Left it.

[Knock at the door. Man's voice.]

SECOND MAN: Is this Dr. Frankenstein's office?

MAN: Four doors down on the left.

SECOND MAN: Thank you.

MAN: So, how's things with Mileva?

EINSTEIN: She's good. I have a feeling, you know, that she might be the one.

MAN: What one?

EINSTEIN: THE one. The mate. Mrs. Genius.

MAN: That's cool.

EINSTEIN: She's the best thing that ever came out of the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology. Just the other day we were watching the bong water...

MAN: The what?

EINSTEIN: The bong water. You know that water pipe that Dr. Stark Von Roten-Augen built?

MAN: Oh yeah, that Einzelne-Maßeinheit-Rauchenden-Schlauch-des-Hauchs thing?

EINSTEIN: The very same.

MAN: Let me get this straight. You were watching bong water?

EINSTEIN: It's got these little bits of resin and ash in it that swirl around and around.

MAN: You guys must have been ripped.

EINSTEIN: We were. Anyway we're watching the bong water, and Mileva says to me, she says "Albert, this is Brownian movement." And I say, "like yeah? And she says, "Well if the motion of the molecules of the bong water makes them strike the suspended molecules of the resin in a random way, there must be a mathematical solution to the description of their motion that can be included into normal kinetic theory."

MAN: Dude that blows me away.

EINSTEIN: So she just writes out the equations. Gives 'em to me to check.

MAN: Did you?

EINSTEIN: No man, not yet. Jeez, do you have anything to munch on?

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