"Strife and division are necessary and inevitable. My advice to you is not to
comment upon the activities of others and not to allow other people's comments
to affect your own activities. That way you will have peace in all that you do.
As I work in this way too, I do not propose to comment on your request.”
Very helpful to me this morning. Thank you Barbara. Especially helpful as a
response to the unfolding on the ISCA FB group, which has been especially
painful to wake up to (my apologies to anyone who isn’t in on that, don’t
worry, you’re not missing anything!). I really really appreciate this group,
it’s tendency to be measured (for good and for ill) and for Hellinger’s
just-right words this morning.
Peace, Leslie
The Rev. Leslie Nipps
Convivium Constellations - Founder, Practitioner & Trainer
“Trust as a Way of Life…”
www.conviviumconstellations.com
"Hasten to that which supports." - The I Ching
On Apr 27, 2017, at 8:01 AM, Barbara Morgan theknowingfield@xxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Many thanks for your sharing Sneh. I do my best to subscribe to a similar
approach and as soon as I hear 'talk', whether shocking or otherwise, I urge
people to go and find out for themselves but even then, we can be in an
audience viewing an exchange, constellation, intervention etc and come to our
own conclusions which may in the end be completely at odds with what actually
transpires!
I would like to offer a quote from a letter I received from Bert 15-20 years
ago when I wrote asking for his help with difficulties we were experiencing in
the field of constellators here in the UK at the time. He said:
"Strife and division are necessary and inevitable. My advice to you is not to
comment upon the activities of others and not to allow other people's comments
to affect your own activities. That way you will have peace in all that you do.
As I work in this way too, I do not propose to comment on your request."
This letter had such a profound effect on me, I remember it verbatim. Of
course, I find it impossible to do wholeheartedly, but it is a wonderful
aspiration and very humbling, as is Sneh's contribution about the outcome for
clients of constellations.
Warmly
Barbara
On 25 April 2017 at 17:45, Sneh Victoria sneh.victoria@xxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Dear Maria, Elena, and all the others,
Precious sharing, I am touched it is happening.
Being german and „raised“ as a constellator in Germany during Bert Hellinger’s
high presence in Germany, living through the periods of high acclaim and later
high critisism, I have at times struggled with finding my place in the field-
not so much because of what Bert did or did not not do, merely because my own
personality, beliefs and findings have carried me in different directions. When
Bert started to work together with his wife, I was already rather distant so
did not pay much attention to how their work proceeded. From time to time I met
people I like and trust who took his and Sofie’ s side, and at others times I
met those who were shocked and appalled. Both sides were right.
When I watched the piece of the Russian video with Sofie’s „intervention“ I
simply disliked it because it felt so not elegant and I value beauty in the
work a lot. (But I have seen many times colleges working with the absence of
beauty and having excellent results!) So me simply not liking what I see has
nothing to do with what the work can achieve. And and in this case the outcome
might speak for itself..
After so many years of working I came to the following conclusion: it does not
matter (at least not as much as we tend to believe) what the
therapist/facilitator is doing, it is the client who makes the move, it is
ultimately his or her decision- no matter what the facilitator is or is not
doing.
In this case, the energy surrounding the whole event had certainly made a
strong, probably unconscious impact. Many factors came together and created the
outcome, none solely by itself. It did not depend on Sofie’s skills or lack of
them (I also see what happened as Sofie and Bert having been „caught“ by the
constellation and became part of it), it mainly depended on the clients
themselves, there inner movements in life and at the time of the seminar, their
invisible connections to The Field, the family and the presence of the group
and Bert and Sofie.
I once many years back had a learning experience that I see reflected in what
happened in Russia: during a german conference in Würzburg, where the earlier
mentioned young woman from some african country was told by Bert to go home if
she ever wanted to find a husband, I myself sitting way back from the stage,
was shocked like my colleges in the seats next to me. (It was the young woman
Peter Levine later stated that he saw her pelvis relax with Bert’s words)
After the constellation I met up with a college and friend who sat on the stage
during the process (that means as close to the constellation as one can get)
and told him how „not fitting“ I found Bert’s intervention. He looked at me in
surprise and said: "from here up on the stage it felt totally right." My
feelings had been with the young woman, thinking about how horrible it must
have felt to her, and so I was amazed when I saw her during the lunch break in
one of the shops I entered, chatting happily, relaxed and with with obvious
good feelings with a friend. It made me rethink my quick judgement of the
situation and I am a lot more careful now to judge anything I see, be it at a
distance or on film. There is something about the energy field that can get
lost, as soon as we are more removed from what is happening.
(Later someone told me, that the young woman was already in a longtime
relationship with her boyfriend at that time...)
So, what I learned for myself is: when I am not present in person at a
situation, I might not get the full picture. I am happy that we in this forum
are taking the time to look at it, and become more clear in how we in our
groups and sessions want to work- and hopefully remain open to the possibility
of doing unusual actions in unusual situations- even if the public opinion will
judge it wrong.
Again, thank you all for sharing,
Sneh
--
Barbara Morgan
Family Constellations Trainer, Supervisor & Practitioner
Editor of
The Knowing Field
International Constellations Journal
www.cominghome.org.uk
www.theknowingfield.com
