Dear Maria, Elena, and all the others,
Precious sharing, I am touched it is happening.
Being german and „raised“ as a constellator in Germany during Bert Hellinger’s
high presence in Germany, living through the periods of high acclaim and later
high critisism, I have at times struggled with finding my place in the field-
not so much because of what Bert did or did not not do, merely because my own
personality, beliefs and findings have carried me in different directions. When
Bert started to work together with his wife, I was already rather distant so
did not pay much attention to how their work proceeded. From time to time I met
people I like and trust who took his and Sofie’ s side, and at others times I
met those who were shocked and appalled. Both sides were right.
When I watched the piece of the Russian video with Sofie’s „intervention“ I
simply disliked it because it felt so not elegant and I value beauty in the
work a lot. (But I have seen many times colleges working with the absence of
beauty and having excellent results!) So me simply not liking what I see has
nothing to do with what the work can achieve. And and in this case the outcome
might speak for itself..
After so many years of working I came to the following conclusion: it does not
matter (at least not as much as we tend to believe) what the
therapist/facilitator is doing, it is the client who makes the move, it is
ultimately his or her decision- no matter what the facilitator is or is not
doing.
In this case, the energy surrounding the whole event had certainly made a
strong, probably unconscious impact. Many factors came together and created the
outcome, none solely by itself. It did not depend on Sofie’s skills or lack of
them (I also see what happened as Sofie and Bert having been „caught“ by the
constellation and became part of it), it mainly depended on the clients
themselves, there inner movements in life and at the time of the seminar, their
invisible connections to The Field, the family and the presence of the group
and Bert and Sofie.
I once many years back had a learning experience that I see reflected in what
happened in Russia: during a german conference in Würzburg, where the earlier
mentioned young woman from some african country was told by Bert to go home if
she ever wanted to find a husband, I myself sitting way back from the stage,
was shocked like my colleges in the seats next to me. (It was the young woman
Peter Levine later stated that he saw her pelvis relax with Bert’s words)
After the constellation I met up with a college and friend who sat on the stage
during the process (that means as close to the constellation as one can get)
and told him how „not fitting“ I found Bert’s intervention. He looked at me in
surprise and said: "from here up on the stage it felt totally right." My
feelings had been with the young woman, thinking about how horrible it must
have felt to her, and so I was amazed when I saw her during the lunch break in
one of the shops I entered, chatting happily, relaxed and with with obvious
good feelings with a friend. It made me rethink my quick judgement of the
situation and I am a lot more careful now to judge anything I see, be it at a
distance or on film. There is something about the energy field that can get
lost, as soon as we are more removed from what is happening.
(Later someone told me, that the young woman was already in a longtime
relationship with her boyfriend at that time...)
So, what I learned for myself is: when I am not present in person at a
situation, I might not get the full picture. I am happy that we in this forum
are taking the time to look at it, and become more clear in how we in our
groups and sessions want to work- and hopefully remain open to the possibility
of doing unusual actions in unusual situations- even if the public opinion will
judge it wrong.
Again, thank you all for sharing,
Sneh
