Thank you Hania for sharing your experience representing a man. I
represented the father in a very dysfunctional family where the
father had molested his daughter. In the beginning of that
constellation the only feeling the father had was towards the
daughter he had molested and the daughter shared that
connection. She was also dying of cancer which was a reflection of
her willingness to carry a heavy burden to protect the father. As
the constellation developed the father was asked to turn and look at
the representatives of a family that had abandoned him and the men at
the border school who had molested him. After the constellation was
finished and I had shaken off the role, I actually found myself
feeling compassion for that man. I consider feeling compassion for
that man a gift.
Ellen Pillard
epillard@xxxxxxxxxx
At 12:05 AM 8/20/2009, you wrote:
Hi All
Thanks for your contribution to this topic, so interesting; specially thanks
to Fung for so clear and inspiring description.
I'd like to add from my modest experience that, respecting general flows and
orders with man-woman constellations, I don't think that the gender of
representative plays main role.
In my opinion, other "marks" are basics, however we often feel that we don't
know what are these marks.
If we try to look first to rules and physical indicators (as a gender), we
could miss a point where they are forced by our prejudicions or judgements.
To illustrate my point, I'd like to give one example: attending one
constellation, I was choosed (by client) as the representant of her mother.
Later process went to three generations of ancestors, and facilitator wanted
me to represent a grandfather of this mother. It was very special experience
for me, because it become obvious that grandfather's violent and rejecting
feelings had huge impact to his grandaughter (mother of client) through his
son (and client's mother's father). Then I experienced violent man's
feelings as his representative which (in very internal supressed form) was a
kind of shock for me.
Whole this experience of being representative of grandfather and
grandaughter was so complete for me, with all their feelings - feelings so
extreme but complementary.
And off course this experience gave me better insight in my own ancestors
actions, and better understanding of violence phenomenon.
I'd like to underline in my opinion that I agree that gender may play
important role in choosing representatives - in some particular situations;
but I think it's secondary towards universal humankind condition we all have
and we all carry in our lifes with family heritage.
Interpreting choices of diferent genders as indicator of sexual identity
issues (as the first instance) could be a big mistake.
Cheers
Hania, Perth
2009/8/20 Sneh Victoria
<<mailto:sneh.victoria%40googlemail.com>sneh.victoria@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Hi David, Fung and all the others,
the theme is one of the very interesting ones! I am not finding much
time and energy to write lately, just wanted to thank you, Fung, for
your good and clear writing of your constellation- I got a lot of
valuable ideas through it. And I truly believe and it also is my
experience in working with similar themes, that the yin and yang
system is universal.
In the moment I am in he middle of a big group of 6 days in Poland, I
certainly will try out some of the ieas, yours, for example, David,
and maybe with Sheila's idea of letting the people choose, whoose
role they take. If something unforeseen or new will happen I will let
you all know. Much love from beautiful Poland, in the middle of
countryside, with a great group of 40 polish mostly very experienced
people. (Am I lucky or what!) Sneh
--
Hania M.
Perth, Australia
"The intuituive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful
servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten
the gift". Albert Einstein
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