Thanks Hania, for your post.
It leads me to think about judgement in Constellations. I think the
line between judgement and noticing is a very fine line. I think we
notice things in constellations and that can lead to a judgement, or a
response, or it can be more we notice something but we are still open
to other information, other impulses. More pure judgement tends to
reduce the space, bit i think if we have an intention to hold the
space open, we can have a sort of 'judgicing', and try that out in the
constellation, it usually tells us if the path we are on is correct. i
know some of my judgements have seemed very accurate, and some
completely wrong, but do I really know? If I make a judgement and I go
down a path that leads to resolution, were there others paths, other
resolutions, who knows?
When I read Fung's post about how he facilitated the lost female part,
it seemed to have quite a bit of structure for me. I tend to have less
structure, its just my style, and I am not saying that Fung is more
structured than me, I just noticed his description of that particular
case.
But it got me thinking, how we use structure in Constellations. I
think every constellation has structure, even the constellations with
just one person in it, and then we can add the structure of the
holding circle, start and end times of the workshop, etc etc. But I
feel I have an interesting relationship with structure. It provides
safety to work and can 'hold' us, but by its very nature it can
exclude as well, so i have always felt the constellation is like a
dance with structure. And the constellation itself provides so much
structure, ever changing as the constellation proceeds, sometimes
splitting people into parts as well. And if i judge that a
constellation needs a certain structure, what am I excluding? I think
that some of the structural constellations used in-house in
organisations are partly an attempt to exclude the family system from
the organisational space, so sometimes we use structure for client
engagement too.
No answers from me, just thoughts.
David Mathes, China and Australia
Hi All
Thanks for your contribution to this topic, so interesting; specially thanks
to Fung for so clear and inspiring description.
I'd like to add from my modest experience that, respecting general flows and
orders with man-woman constellations, I don't think that the gender of
representative plays main role.
In my opinion, other "marks" are basics, however we often feel that we don't
know what are these marks.
If we try to look first to rules and physical indicators (as a gender), we
could miss a point where they are forced by our prejudicions or judgements.
To illustrate my point, I'd like to give one example: attending one
constellation, I was choosed (by client) as the representant of her mother.
Later process went to three generations of ancestors, and facilitator wanted
me to represent a grandfather of this mother. It was very special experience
for me, because it become obvious that grandfather's violent and rejecting
feelings had huge impact to his grandaughter (mother of client) through his
son (and client's mother's father). Then I experienced violent man's
feelings as his representative which (in very internal supressed form) was a
kind of shock for me.
Whole this experience of being representative of grandfather and
grandaughter was so complete for me, with all their feelings - feelings so
extreme but complementary.
And off course this experience gave me better insight in my own ancestors
actions, and better understanding of violence phenomenon.
I'd like to underline in my opinion that I agree that gender may play
important role in choosing representatives - in some particular situations;
but I think it's secondary towards universal humankind condition we all have
and we all carry in our lifes with family heritage.
Interpreting choices of diferent genders as indicator of sexual identity
issues (as the first instance) could be a big mistake.
Cheers
Hania, Perth
