RE: [CollabLaw] Re: [collaborativelaw] Parenting Time Research?
- From: "Natalie Alane" <natalie@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <CollabLaw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Thu, 20 Jan 2011 16:49:09 -0500
Wow -- really well said, Gary.
Natalie Alane
Attorney, Mediator, Collaborative Practitioner
Alane & Chartier, P.L.C.
535 North Capitol Avenue, Suite A
Lansing, MI 48933
Phone: 517.482.2000
Fax: 517.482.2070
www.alanechartier.com
This message and all contents and attachments contain information that may
be privileged, confidential, or otherwise protected from disclosure. If you
are not the intended recipient, please be advised that any disclosure,
copying, distribution, or use of the contents of this message is strictly
prohibited. If you have received this electronic message in error, please
notify us immediately at 517.482.2000 and destroy the original message and
all copies. Thank you for your cooperation.
-----Original Message-----
From: CollabLaw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx [mailto:CollabLaw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf
Of Gary Direnfeld
Sent: Thursday, January 20, 2011 4:11 PM
To: CollabLaw Moderator
Subject: re: [CollabLaw] Re: [collaborativelaw] Parenting Time Research?
In my experience, a portion of parents argue over parenting time and while
extolling the best interests of the child, they are secretly seeking to
restore their view of a prior imbalance or in other cases seeking to lord
control over the situation.
In my read of the literature (not always as 100% current as I would hope),
it seems that while parenting time is important, it pales as a concern next
to the issue of parental conflict.
Hence a parenting plan that appears disproportionate may be ideal as the
parents are not in conflict and being structurally workable, may be ideal.
However, a parenting plan that is somehow equalized in terms of the
proportion of time with either parent, but where animosity reigns and is
structurally difficult to implement, creates havoc for the children
impacting on social-behavioural outcomes.
So the "magic" is not necessarily in the "right" amount of time with either
parent, but achieving a plan that both parents can support and that is
manageable.
Of course, we must also look at time in the care of either parent from a
developmental perspective. I recently had a case where a parent suggested
week-about residential care for a 1-year-old child. I had to explain the
concept of attachment and how from the child's perspective, being away from
either parent for that length of time is akin to emotional teasing!
I am always reminded of the story with King Solomon in these situations:
Faced with two women's claim to the same child, he offered to cut the child
in half so that the child may be shared equally between them. One contender
exclaimed, "But if you do that the child will surely die and hence I
withdraw my claim!"
With that, King Solomon proclaimed her to be the true mother as she was
willing to subordinate her wants to the wellbeing of the child and awarded
her custody.
Best,
Gary
Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW
Interaction Consultants and I Promise Program Inc.
20 Suter Crescent,
Dundas, Ontario, Canada L9H 6R5
(905) 628-4847
gary@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Parenting: www.yoursocialworker.com
Teen safe driving: www.ipromiseprogram.com
Gary Direnfeld is a social worker and expert on matters of family life.
Courts in Ontario, Canada, have deemed Gary an expert on child development,
parent-child relations, marital and family therapy, custody and access
recommendations, social work and an expert for the purpose of giving a
critique on a Section 112 (social work) report.
Services include counselling, mediation, assessments, assessment critiques
and workshops. Go to his website to read his many articles and view clips of
television and radio appearances: www.yoursocialworker.com
I have often referred folks to, or provided a copy of, The Pro-Child Way:
Parenting with an Ex It's not a 'research' piece. It's author, Ellen
Kellner, has 2 daughters, one from each of two ex spouses.
At one point she speaks to the question of 'visitation schedule' thusly:
"For the young child the length of time with each parent is not as important
as the frequency of time......Consistency, frequency, and clarity of
schedule should mold your visitation arrangement."
InJoy!
cMr
Collaborative Practice Chicago
Divorce Without Warfare
carl Michael rossi, M.A. J.D., L.P.C.
Attorney, Mediator, Coach, Counselor
773-292-3456
cMr@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
www.CPChicago.net Executive Director, Collaborative Practice Professionals
of Illinois
On Thu, Jan 20, 2011 at 12:05 PM, David L. Olson <olson199@xxxxxxx> wrote:
A good start is the A Parental Guide to Making Child-Focused Parenting Time
Decisions booklet on the Supreme Court website:
http://www.mncourts.gov/documents/0/Public/Court_Information_Office/PARENTIN
G_TIME_PAMPHLET.pdf
This grew out of a presentation by Joel Peskay with a theme of one size does
not fit all when it comes to parenting time.
David L. Olson
Attorney at Law
One Corporate Plaza
7400 Metro Blvd., Suite 450
Edina, MN 55439
(952) 831-4200 (Voice)
(952) 893-6733 (Fax)
olson199@xxxxxxx
http://www.olsonfamilylaw.com
http://www.collaborativelaw.org
NOTICE: This E-mail (including attachments) is covered by the Electronic
Communications Privacy Act, 18 U.S.C. §§ 2510-2521, is confidential and may
be legally privileged. If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby
notified that any retention, dissemination, distribution, or copying of this
communication is strictly prohibited. Please reply to the sender that you
have received the message in error, then delete it. This email is not, nor
shall it be deemed to be, legal adviceor counsel, unless the recipient
already has an attorney-client relationship with the firm or me. This email
does not create an attorney-client relationship.
Thank you.
on 1/20/11 11:35 AM, Kemi Rampi at kemirampi@xxxxxxxxxxx wrote:
Josh Rampi asked me to post this - please reply to
hopecounseling@xxxxxxxxxxx - Kemi
Dear List-Serve,
I am looking for any recommendations for literature (journal articles,
books, news reports) regarding parenting time schedules and their
effectiveness. I have a client who is interested in learning more about how
the following impacts her/his children (children between ages 9-12 years
old): 1) the number of transitions vs. block times with each parent, 2)
importance of face to face time with each parent at the cost of more
transitions for the children. The client is strongly in favor of longer
periods of time with each parent, one week rotation (i.e. 7 days with each
parent, transition, than 7 days with the other parent), but is open to
considering other options if the literature states otherwise.
I'm not sure if there are resources available to address these specific
questions, but thought that I could tap our collective brains to see what's
out there.
Please email your responses to hopecounseling@xxxxxxxxxxx Thanks for your
help, Josh Rampi
Kemi S. Rampi, Esq.
Collaborative Solutions Minnesota
"Resolving Divorce Disputes Respectfully"
3300 Edinborough Way Suite 550
Edina, MN 55435
Phone: 612-269-2794
Email: kemirampi@xxxxxxxxxxx <
mailto:kemirampi@xxxxxxxxxxx>
www.CollaborativeSolutionsMN.com <
http://www.collaborativesolutionsmn.com/>
This e-mail and any attachments are confidential and may be protected by
legal privilege. If you are not the intended recipient, be aware that any
disclosure, copying, distribution or use of this email or any attachment is
prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please notify me
immediately by reply e-mail or by calling 612-269-2794 so our records can be
corrected and delete this copy from your system. Thank you for your
cooperation.
<
------------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
Other related posts:
