[projectaon] Re: Tabletop Heroes
- From: Simon Osborne <outspaced@xxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Tue, 29 Jan 2008 22:23:26 +0000
McSwain LeRoy wrote:
fellow kai lords,
i enjoyed looking over tabletop heroes (for the first time). please find list
of issues to follow. throughout the columns, mr. dever used company names as
plural nouns. i marked all the ones i saw although this usage may be
stylisticly acceptable. as always, there may be other false positives as well.
thanks, simon et al., for this release.
Hi LeRoy
Thanks for the extremely useful feedback! I've finally finished implementing all
the fixes. There are only a handful of issues I rejected:
page 20
in this fashion, and => in this fashion -- and
Unnecessary.
page 28
dark colour; green => ??? dark colour: green
Unnecessary.
page 32
The Fighting Fantasy range of fighters => The Fighting Fantasy range's fighters
Unnecessary.
page 34
Tungsten (ASA80); => Tungsten (ASA80),
Tungsten (ASA40); => Tungsten (ASA40),
This is strange, but the sentence is a combination of three separate lists: one
for colour stock, one for colour transparencies, and one for monochrome stock.
Because the individual items are separated by commas, the separate lists are
separated by semi-colons.
page 36
A hole is cut in the front large enough to accommodate your choice => (choice
of what? camera?)
Choice of view, I think.
page 47
imagination need be => ? imagination needs be
UK idiom. This sounds fine to my ears.
the match and painting => the match, and painting
Not actually a serial comma.
(is the picture on p49, suppose to have a caption?)
Nope. I rechecked, just to be sure.
page 50
minute amounts of paint you'll be using rules => minute amounts of paint you'll
be using rule
I see where you're coming from, but the corrected sentence reads very strangely
to me.
Or, try => Or... try
Unnecessary.
Fig 3; a novel => Fig 3, a novel
Used "Fig 3--a novel" instead.
page 56
should slate us => (slate?)
UK idiom. To slate something is to criticise harshly.
the UK, they employ => the UK; they employ
Changed "designers and" -> "designers, and" instead.
Everything else got altered. Thanks! :-)
Once I receive the list of problems from Laurence (and I fix them) I'll upload a
new version that will be the final release edition.
--
Simon Osborne
Project Aon Editor
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