Maybe the best response to bombers and Pope-mad plane
hijackers is not to (a) intervene militarily or (b) isolate
them until modernity catches up with them? Maybe the best
response is a quid pro quo?
We should start training martyrs. Certainly we have enough
heroin addicts to train as martyrs in exchange for a fix. If
not we can use robots.
One suicide mission worth considering is piloting a 767 full
of snowblowers and walruses directly into the Kaaba in Mecca
during the Haj. Wait until it's really full, as the 9/11
guys did, and then bang! (The snowblowers and walruses would
add exotic debris to the scene.)
Governors and local mayors should have the ability to enact
their own fatwas against Muslim misbehavior. They should
also be encouraged to seek out and use weapons of mass
destruction. Get some priest to say it's okay, and you have
all the religious justification you need.
And of course we have a lot of bombs over there. We should
use these indiscriminately on the general populations. Just
spin a wheel of chance and hit the winner. Televise it too.
This is exactly the kind of behavior that should please the
"moral equivalence" crowd. In fact let's go out of our way
to establish that point. Following every terrorist incident,
we could air-drop leaflets proclaiming, "That's right. We're
no better than you are, just better armed."
After a lot of jaw-dropping global disgust and horror, many
would yearn for the gentle days of Bush-Cheney.
Well okay, maybe not ...
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