[ussgeorgetown] "Family Discussion: Part One Alex and Vivie Lazzara-Henderson
- From: LtCmdrSydMorgan@xxxxxxx
- To: ussgeorgetown@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Sat, 16 Jul 2005 08:07:14 EDT
"Family Discussion: Part One
Alex and Vivie Lazzara-Henderson
Alex returned to their quarter's after her meeting with Lish. She was still
wound up as tight as a rope. She had too many thoughts in her head, that she
felt like it was going to explode. Once she got home, she looked for Vivie
only
to find the place empty. She changed into something more comfortable and
laid down on the couch hoping the pounding in her head would go away. "Computer
dim lights." Hopefully laying in the dark would help to calm her, although she
doubted it.
There was a huge smile plastered on Vivie's face as she walked down the hall
towards home. She kept looking down at the contents of the small yellow bag
in her hand, the hint of white and light green that was nestled inside made
her
eyes light up and she had to swallow a giggle. Walking into the cabin she
headed right for the bedroom since she was sure Alex was still on the bridge.
Still awake, yet in the place between full awareness and dreaming, Alex
thought she had heard the doors open, but she didn't hear Vivie call for
lights
so she thought she must've been dreaming. She went back to unsuccessful
attempt at sleeping.
Sitting on the bed, Vivie pulled out a little white one piece with light
green piping around cuffs and neck. She knew it was far to soon, and that Alex
would think she was nuts, and that in some cases some people thought it bad
luck to get baby things before the baby's born, but Vivie couldn't help
herself.
She'd been down in the ship's tiny clothes shop picking out something for
Cali and saw the little outfit hanging there. She couldn't help herself, it
even had matching booties and a hat.
Laying on the couch was not helping her headache at all, so Alex got up and
gingerly stumbled into the bedroom, falling on the bed or rather falling on
Vivie. "Computer lights. What the hell? When did you come in?"
"Hello to you to sunshine." Vivie chuckled as she tried to stuff the baby
clothes under her pillow with Alex pinning her down. "Just got here. I thought
you were on the bridge."
"Uh, sorry about this." Alex stood up so Vivie could get up. "I was, but I
had or rather have a terrific headache so I was tying to get rid of it by
laying on the couch. I didn't hear you come in."
Vivie kicked the little yellow bag under the bed while stuffing the little
outfit completely under the pillow. "Aww my poor baby." Standing up she
wrapped her arms around Alex's neck and kissed each of her temples. "Why don't
you
go back and lay down and I'll get you something for it."
"I thought I would try laying in here since the bed would be more
comfortable than the couch. You don't have to get me anything. I will get
something in
a bit. So what have you been up to?"
"Nothing." Vivie replied quickly and then lead her wife to her own side of
the bed and away from Vivie's. "There's no sense in you suffering when I can
get you a hypo from the bathroom. Now lay down and don't move."
Something was up and Alex was determined to find out. "Really, you don't
have to get me anything?" More softly she thought to herself, "God forbid T
were
to find out you were waiting on me." Laying flat wasn't helping, so Alex
grabbed Vivie's pillow and placed it on top of her own. She looked over and saw
the outfit. Picking it up she looked at it and called out, "Vivie, what is
this?"
"What's what?" Vivie called back as she picked through their medicine
cabinet. When she walked out with the hypo her eyes went wide. "Oh that." She
said
with a sheepish smile.
"Yes, this, and why was it stuffed under your pillow?" The pounding in her
head had increased ten fold by now.
Walking over Vivie pressed the hypo to Alex's neck and listened for the hiss
before removing it and setting it down on Alex's night stand. "Isn't it just
to cute for words?"
Feeling the medicine course through her body, Alex started to relax a
little. "Just what is it, exactly?" Alex knew she sounded harsh and she really
didn't mean to but her conversation with Lish had her on edge. Lately
everything
seemed to have her on edge.
Vivie took the outfit from Alex and place it on the bed, laying the hat and
booties out as well. "It's a newborn's once piece sleeper." She replied. "See
I got it with the light green since we don't know if the baby will be a boy
or a girl."
"Isn't it a little early to be buying baby clothes? You aren't even pregnant
yet."
A dark blush colored Vivie's cheeks as she picked the things up and put them
back in the bag. "I guess so. I guess I just got to excited."
Alex grabbed Vivie, "I'm sorry. It really is cute and I shouldn't have been
so abrupt. I didn't mean to dampen your excitement. It's just......"
Turning to look at Alex, Vivie finally noticed that something more was
wrong. "What is it, Alex?"
Alex looked away from Vivie. She didn't know what to say or what to do.
"Nothing, it's nothing. So how was your day?"
"Alexis." Vivie said firmly as she sat the bag on the bed and took hold of
Alex's shoulders. "Talk to me. Lish said we needed to talk when things
bothered us. Don't you dare hold back on me."
"I'm not holding back on you. I just don't know what to say or do about
what's on my mind. No matter what I do someone could get hurt and I don't want
that someone to be you."
"Life isn't always roses and sunshine, Alex." Vivie replied as she pulled
Alex down onto the bed to sit beside her. "You need to stop worrying about
hurting peoples feelings and talk about things. My feelings are going to get
hurt
from time to time, and so are yours. It's what happens when people share a
life. So stop trying to make everything gum drops and lollipops and talk to
me."
"I've been talking to Lish for a couple of times now. It has nothing to do
with our having a baby." Damnit, I can't come between her and her sister. It
just isn't fair or right.
Vivie took Alex's hand in hers and used her free hand to comb her fingers
through Alex's short hair. "What then?"
"It's Tawny. I know how much she resents, or rather hates me, and I also
know how it tears you up. I can't come between you and your sister Vivie."
Alex
turned her head to hide a tear and murmured something under her breath.
"Your not going to come between us, Alex." Vivie replied as she grabbed hold
of Alex's chin and made her look at her. "These are T's issues not yours."
She heard Alex mumble and asked, "What was that?"
"I can't go on with the charade. Something has to be done. When she is here
I feel like I don't belong in my own home. I don't deserve to be talked to
the way she talks to me. I feel like a pariah in my own home. Something has to
be
done but I am not sure what?"
Vivie sighed. "I'm sorry you feel that way when she's here." She knew that
sooner of later they'd have to deal with this, but she had been hoping it
wouldn't happen for a while. "But what do you want me to do Alex? Ask my sister
to stay away? I can't do that. It's why she is the way she is with me. I pushed
her out of my life and left her once, I can't do that to her again."
"I don't want you to do anything. It is something I am going to have to do.
Lish says I shouldn't let her provoke me, yet she does. I see how she treats
you when I am around. I am the one that is going to have to do something."
She
just sat there with a tear in her eye.
"The way she treats me?" Vivie was confused.
"When I am around she acts like anything you do for me is wrong or I am
using you. I can't let that go on anymore. I have offered her my respect,
invited
her into our home, yet she still doesn't care. If she cared about your
happiness, she wouldn't berate me in front of you, she would try and talk you
out
of having our child. She wouldn't think that you are being stuck with me
forever. I just can't deal with it anymore." Alex got up and got some water,
returning to the bedroom with it. "I'm sorry Vivie."
"What for?"
"For feeling this way and dumping it on you. From now on whenever T is over
I will make myself scarce. I am not going to come between you and the best
way to make sure that doesn't happen is to make sure that her and I have no
contact. She is welcome in our home, but when she is here I won't be. As I
said, I'm sorry." Alex stood up and walked into the other room with tears
flowing down her face. She couldn't think of any other way.
Vivie followed Alex into the other room. "Alex, avoiding her isn't going to
do anything. That's not working on the problem it's running away from it."
"After talking to Lish and learning that his bondmate's mother doesn't
approve of their relationship and that he chooses not to speak to her, it
sounds
like a perfect solution. Nothing is going to change the way T feels about me.
She is your sister and your family and as such you should be together. I just
won't be there at the same time."
"My sister isn't Seren's mother and your not Lish." Vivie replied. Her voice
getting a little louder. As far as she was concerned both her sister and
Alex were acting like brats. "How do you know for sure that T won't ever like
you? She knows that you don't like her cause she don't like you. Your both
being stupid."
"Actually it is Seren who refuses to not speak to his mother. It was his
decision to make not Lish's. I am not going to force you to choose between the
two of us, so I am making the decision to not interact with her. Maybe in time
that will change, but I don't see that happening in the foreseeable future.
Especially after hearing the conversation the two of you had earlier. I am
not doing this to be mean to either of you. It is something I have to do for
myself, before I totally lose it. Please try and understand?"
"I understand that your unwilling to work things out with T." Vivie huffed.
"How do you expect things to work out in the future? Magic? And what about
when the baby comes? What are you going to do? Are you going to leave sick bay
when she comes to see us? Not come to our child's baptism cause T's there? Do
you plan on not attending any of our child's birthday parties, Christmases
at my mothers, or any other event in our child's life cause T's there? This is
fucking bull shit, Alex."
Alex stood there and let Vivie yell at her like a damn had burst. "I never
said I would not attend different occasions. I said I was not going to
interact with her. I will of course be there when our child is born and for
all the
important steps. I just will not be talking to T. I am sorry if you feel that
my feelings are bull shit, but that is your prerogative. I have extended the
olive branch, I never once said I didn't like her, she hasn't given me a
chance to get to know her. I have welcomed her into our home. What more do you
want me to do Vivie? Tell me? Should I let her walk all over me just so she
can have her own way? Should I allow her to mistreat me, because she thinks I
am wrong for you? You tell me what the fuck to do! I am trying to make it
easier for all involved but all it is, is fucking bull shit." Alex walked into
the kitchen area, sat on a stool and held her head in her hands. Her entire
body was shaking and she could do nothing to stop it.
"I didn't mean your feelings were bullshit, Alexis." Vivie told her wife as
she stood in the kitchen door way. "And I didn't say that you should let her
walk all over you. I do however thing you two need to finally hash it out,
but since your unwilling to even try and would rather runway and hide then
I'll
fucking settle this myself." With that Vivie headed for the door.
Alex beat Vivie to the door and would not let her leave. "I am not unwilling
to try nor am I running away. There is nothing for you to settle. I don't
want to fight with you."
"Move."
"No, I am not moving."
Vivie glared at Alex. "I'm tired of this shit, Alexis. I won't bring my baby
into a family that hates each other, now move so I can deal with this."
"So now it's your baby? I do not hate your sister. Why won't you at least
try and understand my side?"
"I understand." Vivie spat. "I understand that you want to ignore the problem
and hope it goes away. And yes when I'm protecting him or her then he or she
is my baby."
Alex removed herself from the door. "Fine, have it your way. Maybe having a
child isn't such a good idea after all. You have already eliminated me from
the equation when it comes to protecting the baby." Alex walked over to the
couch and sat down staring at the wall, ready to explode.
Vivie sighed. "I didn't mean it that way."
Alex just stared at the wall. "It doesn't matter anymore. You think I am
running away, or that I hate your sister, or that I am not willing to try and
work things out. You have made yourself quite clear on the matter."
"Isn't that what your doing?" Vivie asked. "Alexis, instead of confronting T
your going to avoid her? That's running away."
"It really doesn't matter anymore. You are quite correct in saying it is
your baby. After all you are the one having it, you will be the one nursing
it.
I am just a source for the other egg." Feeling totally defeated Alex
whispered, "just tell me what you want me to do. Just tell me."
Vivie sighed. "There's just no talking to you when your in one of these self
loathing moods. Alexis, I didn't mean that he or she would be my baby alone.
I just don't want to have to answer him or her one day when he or she asks,
"Momma, why does Mommy never talk to or look at Aunt T?"
"I am not in a self loathing mood as you put it. You won't have to worry
about answering that question. I will put on my nice face and do my best to
get
along with T. We will just forget this discussion ever happened." Alex got up
and walked into the bedroom and laid down with her face in the pillow,
trying to desperately hide the sobs and tears.
Vivie could no longer hide her own hurt and tears. "Fine, Alexis! Do what
ever the fuck you want!" With that Vivie walked out the door.
Alex heard Vivie walk out the door, and didn't know what to do. They had at
one time vowed to never leave during a fight. After waiting for a while Alex
went for a walk of her own.
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