[tcb] Re: Jan and Denis' XMAS divorce
- From: sammie smith <bugcollections@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: tcb@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Fri, 21 Dec 2007 07:09:38 -0800 (PST)
And this about a lady who is buying you a NEW Koch steering wheel for Murray
for Xmas. Denis, you should be ashamed.
Denis Dodson <coocoo@xxxxxxx> wrote: So, Paul posts his funny joke
about the Christmas dinner, and it's all funny and stuff, but I don't think
it's so funny when you consider the ugly truth about the holidays.
Jan and I are getting a divorce.
She sat there, sending Christmas e-mails, and ignored the timer beeper on the
stove until the pizza burnt. She had the TV on really loud and I was downstairs
trying to figure out why some of the porn movies I downloaded started and some
don't. I heard something beeping, but I thought it was her cell phone or that
it was in the movie. She finally yells down the stairs that the pizza is done.
I came up and the friggin' timer beeper was still beeping and the pizza was all
burnt up!
I ask what the hell is wrong with you, you can't turn off the beeper and get
the pizza out? She says that, she doesn't know how to turn off the beeper.Well,
that was just a lie she has lived with this particular stove for, like, nine
years!
I was going to find the instruction book that came with the stove, turn to
the chapter about the beeper and beat her with it, but I don't think we have it
anymore. Then, I think that I should beat her with the pizza. She acts all like
she doesn't want any pizza anyway and continues with the oh, so important
Christmas E-mails.
I give the dogs some of the pizza after I had tried to gag some down, Lilly
doesn't really want any but the puppies don't know good pizza from bad so they
chomp it down.
So, when she can finally stop doing her precious e-mails, she comes into the
kitchen. and we discuss what a dip she is and what a moron I am, she tells me
about how she has to go to bed now because she is the only person around here
who has a JOOOOOOOOOB!
Hey, I have a job! I have to get up every day at the crack of ten and spend
the whole day not strangling her! That can be a very hard job. She knows that
one of the pills I have to take every single day is a don't-kill-your-wife
pill. I take, like, four a day now.
We already had a get a divorce day at Thanksgiving. I had cleaned the house
top to bottom two days earlier, but her first day off for the Holidays she
spends cleaning the house! She's all banging the broom around a rubbing stuff
all huffy like this is the filthiest place ever. I WAS TRYING TO WATCH THE
PARADE!!!
I have to go now. I have to mop today.
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