"Now GO brave knight, and may luck be on your side!" The Princess said, "AND REMEMBER! Your foe, the black knight, wields the brother to your magic talking sword! While your weapon contains the soul of all that is good and benevolent in the universe, his likewise carries the soul of hate and evil and treachery. Be wary for the wielder of that blade will be the most formidable opponent you will ever face." The knight rode off to the blackened charred ruins of a castle that the black knight called home. His foe was awaiting him there, perched upon a black steed and suited from head to toe in gleaming black armor. In his hand was a shimmering sword hilted with pure ivory - it was a sword that was identical in every way to his own magic weapon. As he moved forwards towards his enemy, he drew the Sword of Virtue from its sheath. The sword spoke to him: "You are a worthy knight and an honorable man. In the years we have spent with one another WE have bonded, steel and flesh, to create the greatest weapon against injustice the world has ever known. Together, no creature of darkness will be spared the judgment of our righteous fury. Godspeed to us both comrade - and to us both VICTORY" The knight lowered his visor and slowed the pace of his white horse so that he could study the black knight. They stared at one another for a moment, almost thoughtfully, before taking a more aggressive posture. Finally, they both charged and clashed in a whirlwind of horse, armor and weapon. After several minutes of ferocious combat, the dust settled. Laying dead was the black knight, diced to ribbons by the masterful battling of the good knight, who was wounded but alive. The good knight pulled himself to his feet and reached to grab his magic sword, which lay nearby. "No! that is not the right weapon! I am over here." a distant voice said. Looking over, he saw the brother sword sticking upright in some dirt. The muddy sword continued, "that is the Sword of Chaos!" the knight looked down at the sword he was about to pick up and it spoke to him, "no, THAT is the evil sword, I am your sword!" The knight raised his visor and looked perplexed. He glanced awkwardly between each identical blade trying to find out how to tell them apart. "Don't you know me?" said the first sword, "WE ARE LIKE BROTHERS! We have fought many battles together, we are friends!" "He's lying! It is I who is your comrade! Together we conquered the Caverns of Despair and the Blue Giant of the North!" hollered the second sword. "ARGH! Everyone knows you and I did that! Here's something he would never know! Remember when you picked up that whore in the merchant city and realized you didn't have any gold with you midway through so you jumped out the window? Ha-ha!" replied the first one. "No!" scream the second, "we are brother blades so he can read my mind and that is how he knew that. Do not trust his lies! He has proven nothing! Ask me any question!" "Ok, what's my middlename?" the Knight asked. "Nathaniel" the second sword responded. "MY TURN" the first yelled. "Ok, name of the first girl I kissed?" the knight asked. "Princess Drucilla" the first sword answered. "Argh this is getting us no where, I AM THE ONE. Pick me up!" the second sword demanded. "I AM THE ONE, pick ME up!" the first one mocked in a sarcastic accent. "See? he acts the fool!" the second screamed. "See? he acts the fool!" the first screamed. "Floggin' hell!" "Floggin' hell!" "BLOODY IDIOT STOP IT" "BLOODY IDIOT STOP IT" "I'M SERIOUS, STOP" "I'M SERIOUS, STOP" "Good Knight, it should be obvious by now." "Good Knight, it should be obvious by now." "As the blade of virtue I would never resort to this childish behavior!" "As the blade of virtue I would never resort to this childish behavior!" "flim flam" "flim flam" "floggity floo" "floggity floo" "hummuna hummuna" "hummuna hummuna" "gee goo goo" "gee goo goo" "fogolatta" "fogolatta" "fo fo fum" "fo fo fum" "ENOUGH OF THIS, please pick me up so we can leave this obnoxious creature - HE IS DRIVING ME MAD!" "ENOUGH OF THIS, please pick me up so we can leave this obnoxious creature - HE IS DRIVING ME MAD!" "Flogga flobo" "Flogga flobo" "Forry fopo fip fop." "Forry fopo fip fop." "I am the stupidest ugliest sword ever made by the ancient gods" "I am the stupidest ugliest sword ever made by the ancient gods" "I have a rusty blade and have never cut flesh, I'm a display sword!" "I have a rusty blade and have never cut flesh, I'm a display sword!" "the Sword of Virtue is superior to the Sword of Chaos in every way" Suddenly the second sword crackled and a tear in the fabric of reality opened along its blade, thousands of tiny malevolent eyes peeked out unblinkingly from a backdrop of pitch black emptiness. A beam of terror and fire whipped out of the darkness and enveloped the first sword, leaving only a pile of molten slag in it's place. The tear sealed as quickly as it formed and the crackling ceased. "Seriously though, I am the Sword of Virtue." the second sword re.