[ourlunchgroup] Don't mess with kids!
- From: Jarom Denton <smileybob234@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: Group of Friends <ourlunchgroup@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Fri, 16 Dec 2011 17:15:15 -0700
I found these funny jokes, so I wanted to share :)
1. little girl: was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher: said
it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even
though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl: stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the
teacher: reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was
physically impossible. The little girl: said, "When I get to heaven I will
ask Jonah". The teacher: asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl: replied, "Then you ask him".
2. A Kindergarten teacher: was observing her classroom of children while
they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's
work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked
what the drawing was. The girl: replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher:
paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a
beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl: replied, "They will in a
minute."
3. A Sunday school teacher: was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy
Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us
how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little
boy: (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
4. One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes
at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several
strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She
looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs
white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something
wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little
girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how
come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
5. The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice
it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's
Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small
voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's
dead."
6. A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to
make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the
blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.."
"Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in
the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow
shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
7. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The
nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is
watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the
table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a
note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
--
Jarom
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