That makes me remember a funny case long time ago (7.3 or 8.0): Issue: VAX workstation running reports in control room in a steel factory have to wait 60min for a report to complete, in the meanwhile the control room has no access to information since computer is running report and not allowing to do anything else. Totally unacceptable. Team involved: Manager, developer, DBA (me). DBA: (to developer) Can you please tell me how are you getting info for the report? Dev: Every query calls a view where I have all data I need, since that view calls another view which calls some other views and then another and ……. DBA: Ooooook, so basically in your final view you are returning almost entire DB data using nested views, right? Dev: Yes but this way I can use same view to get all the information I need for practically every query I have to execute! DBA: (to manager) give me some time and I will reduce response time by removing unnecessary views. Dev: But I need those views! If I don’t use them I will have to write very specific queries for everything I need from the database! Manager: I don’t know what to do. DBA: You should let DBA take care of database activities. After sometime response time for report was improved to 60 seconds. Gabriel Aragon Contractor GE Corporate Information Systems T +52 (449) 910 7392 M +52 (449) 231 4618 gabriel.aragon@xxxxxx <mailto:gabriel.aragon@xxxxxx> Av. Eugenio Garza Sada #902, Parque Tecnopolo Aguascalientes, Ags. 20328, Mexico From: Demetrius Harper [mailto:harperdk@xxxxxxxxx] Sent: Miércoles, 27 de Julio de 2011 03:38 p.m. To: Aragon, Gabriel (GE, Corporate, consultant); "ORACLE-L" Subject: Re: all time worst question I have been ever asked as a DBA From a Jr. DBA at Aerospace company From DBA to Oracle Developer I ran the package.pkg script, but you have another file that is looks the same (packageb.pkg), I didn't run that one... ex.2 (same guy) Developer asks DBA, what privileges does that user in production have? DBA's response: OK let me look... HMMMM... After 5 mins, I don't remember what table that is in... Let me get back with you on that! He never did Sr. DBA with the same Oracle Developer DBA LOCKS batch_user while running scheduled jobs during production daily loads, after several hundred alerts and failures Developer: Hey did you lock the batch user in production? DBA: Yes! Developer: Why would you do that when we are running jobs in production! DBA It had some sessions open so I locked the user, it shouldn't open any sessions in production! Developer: OK, he went to managment to get this issue recified... WOW Needless to say I was OTFLOL ________________________________ From: "Aragon, Gabriel (GE, Corporate, consultant)" <gabriel.aragon@xxxxxx> To: ""ORACLE-L"" <oracle-l@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> Sent: Tuesday, July 26, 2011 2:02 PM Subject: RE: all time worst question I have been ever asked as a DBA I have some of those.. User: can you please create this table? DBA: No, table already exists in your schema. User: Oh, can you please force create? User: Pls upgrade to 11g, but not entire database only my schema, I don’t want the other users to be affected From: oracle-l-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx [mailto:oracle-l-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Lyall Barbour Sent: Martes, 26 de Julio de 2011 02:46 p.m. To: "ORACLE-L" Subject: Re: all time worst question I have been ever asked as a DBA Well, you made at least half the list's day with this one. From all of us, "thank you" ----- Original Message ----- From: Andrew Kerber Sent: 07/26/11 03:38 PM To: ORACLE-L Subject: all time worst question I have been ever asked as a DBA So, I am getting this error on one of our virtual Linux servers: ORA-00210: cannot open the specified control file ORA-00202: control file: '/u01/app/oracle/datafiles/devdb/control01.ctl' ORA-27086: unable to lock file - already in use Its probably due to a stale NFS lock. The question from my sys admin: -rw-r----- 1 oracle oinstall 10076160 Jul 22 13:33 control01.ctl can that file just be removed Ok, I am a little frustrated with him... -- Andrew W. Kerber 'If at first you dont succeed, dont take up skydiving.'