[mit-ac6] What If...?
- From: Neil Santos <ne0_akt@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: mit-ac6@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Thu, 5 Sep 2002 19:27:41 +0800
>> [Thursday] 9/5/2002 :: 7:25 PM -- NEWMSG
[Latest rambling ko. As in mga... twenty minutes pa lang. Inspired
by someone.]
Lately, thoughts of you have been racing through my head. You. And
questions. Questions that start with "What if??" Thoughts of what
could've happened. Thoughts of what could've been.
"What if I had the guts to tell you how I feel?" "What if I threw all
my cares to the wind and asked you to be mine?" "What if I didn't
have anyone else to worry about?" "What if we've never met??"
I'm scared. I'm afraid of the repercussions of whatever I could've
done. Of whatever I might do. Can I handle them all? Can you? Will
you? You won't even give me the time of day. Or a loving smile. Or
a seductive wink. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
How could I gather up the courage to walk up to you and admit my
feelings, when you make no signs of feeling the same way I do? You've
thrown a few hints across my lap. Or at least I think they're hints.
Rather, I hope they are.
Are they? I don't know? I'm confused.
Do you love me? Or at least like me? Do you care for me? Or at
least concerned? Just how do you really feel for me? Are we doomed
to stay friends? Or am I bound to break this friendship because of my
foolishness?
I don't want to lose you. But I don't want to risk losing your
feelings for me if you have any. If I act too soon, I risk
everything. If I don't act at all, I forfeit everything. Damned if I
do, damned if I don't.
Help me. I want your help. I need your help. Love me. I want your
love. I need your love. Come to me. I want you. I need you. Help
me put my world back together; the world you shattered the moment you
placed me in this dilemma. Help me find order in all this chaos.
Kiss me. I need to feel your lips against mine, locked in a warm,
tender kiss; a kiss that's an amalgamation of all the lust and love
and passion and of innocence broken. Hold me close. Make me feel
wanted. Make me feel you want me. Make me understand your feelings,
your dreams, your sorrows, your joys?
And let me show you who I really am.
I'm lost. I'm wandering around in this limbo, unsure of my next move.
Unsure of the way out. Unsure if I want to get out. Help me. I
need you. I hope you need me too. Help me.
It's all too sad? Frustrations, regrets? What if one could just
decipher the thoughts of another with just one look; would it make
things easier? Would you let me look into your soul? I would. What
if love isn't an essential part of one's life; would I be needing you
now?
It pains me to see you, it pains me to be without you. What if I
didn't feel pain? What if nobody felt pain? Maybe then, I could walk
up to you and tell you how much I love you.
Maybe then, I wouldn't care whether or not you felt love for me?
-------
``The game was over. The game had just begun.''
-- To Kill The Potemkin, Mark Joseph
... * <- Tribble *- <- Tribble after male augmentation
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