Hi David and all,
I have also experienced that the position of the eyes in the woman in
particular seem to be more weighted to look down. I feel this is directly
related to the collective weight that has victimised the feminine for eons. I
have watched it in myself when faced with challenging family scenarios that
trigger deep rooted pain. When the victim tape is running in my mind the eyes
look down and get sort of fixated. When I consciously lift them to look
straight ahead, I am instantly out of the victim and more in my strength. I
have discovered that conscience, personal and collective, does really have a
weight that causes body to be drawn by gravity (eyes included.) I had
migraines all my life. I used to ride them out with awareness to observe the
inner energy dynamic without painkillers alot. My body would always want to
hunch over, and shut down, head and eyes down also. I used to consciously do
the opposite and it triggered vomiting and opening
energy up. I discovered that right at the bottom of my migraines was a tiny
little voice that was saying "help me, help me." I never understood this until
I was learning this work and a situation triggered the migraine. Again I had
difficulty standing. All of a sudden I realised the small voice inside saying
"help me its too big for me to carry." After decades of migraines I had a very
deep insight into how the weight of conscience and entanglement impacts on the
physical. It is also my understanding that women need to learn to "stand
straight, in their strength." It has been difficult up till now. Even the
women who have imitated the masculine are not standing in their true strength,
connected to the orders of life and love. They do a good job of imitating that
stand but it is actually a disconnected state void of true life force. Here
they are imitating form without the formless essence of soul. There is a very
real qualitative
energetic difference between the two. It also has to do with the roots of
womens sexuality being cut by paternal domination. Women have been conditioned
not to look (its impolite), and to be daddys "good little girl." All these
collective imprints have weight. Nice to see things a shiftin and a movin and
nice to see the masculine energy supporting her to shed this weight.
Love and gratitude for the work you do David
Love Sadhana
________________________________
From: "david@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx" <david@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Saturday, August 15, 2009 10:56:54 AM
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] Woman follows man, man serves woman
Hi,
This is one of Bert Hellinger's statements that has always interested
me. As he would say it's an observation from Constellations.
Hunter Beaumont has written about it too, and others. I have been
holding a short series of workshops in China, which I find a privelege
for a 'westerner'to be able to work with such a different culture to
my own. Of coursethere are cultural similarities as well, and many an
hour can be spent
discussing these.
Recently I had so many cases in workshop and private settings of women
struggling to be at peace with their womanhood. Very touching cases
where women had lost something along the way due to some Systemic
entanglement. The Constellation space was such a powerful gift to help
them regain a sense of fuller femininity.
I do many little exercises in my workshops, recently I almost went a full day
without doing a case, it was quite surprising. So I have started to
use a little exercise to explore Masculine and Feminine energy. I go
round the circle and give people a letter, A then B then A and B and
so on. The A's are the feminine energy. The B's the masculine,
irrespective of the gender of the participant.
I tell the group that I give the feminine the A because we are all
born of a woman. Then I let the group move with their body. The first
time I did this in Beijing, the exercise was so chaotic in the room,
it seemed there were no patterns. But we started to ask if anyone
wanted to share anything.
Then the patterns revealed themselves. The male energy often looked up
and sometimes out. The female energy often looked to the floor. We
digested this, and then a bit more came out. Six people said there
were following someone else, and five of them were feminine energy.
And a little bit more. There was one male energy that followed a
feminine. The feminine was spinning on the spot. The participant, a
woman in fact, said she followed the feminine energy until it stopped
spinning, and then she stopped following the feminine.
We were quite amazed at this, and for the participants we started to
make sense of this in terms of Hellinger and other male and female
ideas. Maleness as the protector, looking for danger or animals, the
female energy tending for the children and looking down. Some of the
participants offered similar ideas. It seemed to fit. It also helps
me understand why male energy stands in first place in the family
constellation, on the edge of the family, easier to look out etc.
Then, later we held some organisational workshops on this trip, and
still also Constellations is such a good space to explore these
dynamics and leadership. The Constellation space helps people
understand the positions and attitudes of leadership, in their own
contexts, but there are always shared themes as well. Now we add these
gendered ideas. Often in Constellations re couples working together,
it ends with the man being the leader, or the person with the
strongest male energy being the leader, which seems to be more
accurate, for example, in the case of two women working together.
Then we tried an exercise, the male energy looks out, the female more
looks in, if they go with their bodies the male energy looks out of
the window sometimes and the female energy sits on the floor. Now we
ask the basic question we use in Organisational and Management
workshops to explore leadership issues: "Follow me". The female energy
sitting on the floor responds to the male energy by the window
positively and her body is drawn away from the floor towards the
maleness. But if we reverse this and ask the female energy to say this
the male energy is perplexed, "to where?". If the 'where" is into the
home where the female energy seems to be, it seems to lack a sense of
direction.
So these ideas and exercises are useful for disseminating the various
roles and tasks in organisations as well. I think it adds a useful
dimension to help us explore.
I think the exitement of exercises in the Constellation space is that
you never know the outcome, and if you can quell your expectantions
and intentions, something rich may emerge.
Any way, these are not rules, just noticings! Of course.
Alll the best.....David Mathes, Guangzhou and Sydney
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