Donna--Since you addressed your email, "O Wise Ones," I am reluctant to reply,
since I manifestly do not qualify. So please regard this as an amicus email,
while I defer to the original addressees.
I say to the spouse in my office: Here's the brochure, here's the website.
(The advantage I have over your Los Angeles practice is that my group,
www.abetterdivorce.com, and I are pretty much limited to the South Bay of Los
Angeles County, a pretty cohesive and defined community.) There are 14 lawyers
listed there, along with 8 mental health professionals and 4 financial
professionals. All are completely independent of each other and me. Oh yes,
they're all pretty nice people--they won't tell your spouse that a shark is
what he or she needs--but if your spouse is feeling she or he needs protection,
check out the linked websites. These people know what they're doing. Now all
you are suggesting to your spouse is this--talk to any one of them. Offer to
pay the consult fee if that's the issue. So it costs your spouse nothing but a
couple hours of time. Or, if your spouse is interested in who you've been
talking to, have him or her come in to see me--on your nickel. Alone or with
you--let her or him choose.
The point is: the spouse in my office gets to go home with a concrete plan of
action which still leaves the other spouse plenty of choices.
Not to say for a second that this isn't one of the most difficult problems we
have to overcome in this process.......
_________________________
James M. Hallett, CFLS, CCLS, (State Bar of California; Board of Legal
Specialization)
Law Offices of James M. Hallett
1001 Sixth Street, Suite 120
Manhattan Beach, CA 90266
310-376-3374
310-318-0709 (Fax)
jmhallettlaw@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
jmhallettlaw.com
----- Original Message -----
From: Donna Beck Weaver
To: CollabLaw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Thursday, January 22, 2004 12:01 PM
Subject: [CollabLaw] Addressing Reactive Rejection of CL by Other Spouse
O Wise Ones,
Can you give insight or advice for this recurring theme: one spouse
learns about CL and would like to use it, but the other spouse
instantly becomes convinced that, since it is being proposed by the
now-distrusted spouse or his/her representative, the CL process must
be a trick, designed to disadvantage her or him.
Is there an approach that would help us help our clients see beyond
an initial reactiveness, in spite of everything?
Best regards,
Donna Beck Weaver
Los Angeles
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