[projectaon] proofreading book 15
- From: "McSwain LeRoy" <simonaamanarfan@xxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Thu, 15 Feb 2007 00:05:40 -0500
here are the other errors from book 15. i marked each instance (that i
noticed) of the giak plural ending '-im' being used with a singular noun or
adjective. however, i ignored each instance when the '-im' ending was used
with a noun used as a plural adjective (e.g. drakkarim horsemen). after
finishing my read though i realised that in nouns used as adjectives in
english the singular form is usually (always?) used (e.g. bank vaults.
banks vaults would sound silly). if this rule applies to giak loan words
as well, there are a number more erroneous incidences which i did not
indicate in the list.
for sommerlund and the kai
leroy mcswain
<tssf> paragraph5 Your discovery, has inspired => Your discovery has
inspired
paragraph8 In the regions to the northeast of Magador and the
Maakengorge,=> ? to the northwest of Magador and the Maakengorge
paragraph 13 promise of Nadziranim power => promise of Nadziran power
paragraph 17 one of Dakushna's Nadziranim sorcerers. => one of Dakushna's
Nadziran sorcerers.
disciplines (kai screen) The strength and capacity of these fortresses
increases => increase
disciplines (telegnosis) Duration, and the protection of his inanimate
body, increases => Duration and the protection of his inanimate body
increase
3 your guide, then suddenly => your guide; then suddenly
8 long pause, then a => long pause; then a
8 suggests that he escorts => suggests that he escort (subjunctive
mode?)
13 small secluded cover => small secluded cove (as in parallel
sections)
16 the cabin, then, as => the cabin; then, as
16 a Drakkarim sergeant => a Drakkar sergeant
17 mid-air, then it => mid-air; then it
17 a fortified Drakkarim stronghold => a fortified Drakkar stronghold
19 'we must get away => 'We must get away
19 him so, then he => him so; then he
21 Zagganozod => ???Zaggannozod (armour + horse)
21 few words, then they => few words; then they
23 each craft, then you => each craft; then you
25 to succeed, therefore no => to succeed; therefore no
26 a Drakkarim guard => a Drakkar guard
29 You check your map and discover it to be a fortified Drakkarim
stronghold. => You check your map and discover it to be Konozod, a
fortified Drakkar stronghold. (as in parallel sections)
31 It is near to exhaustion => He is near to exhaustion (to match 'he'
later in sentence)
36 his breath, then he => his breath; then he
38 the Arrow, then its => the Arrow; then its
38 suspecting trickery, then slowly => suspecting trickery. Then slowly
39 its Drakkarim garrison => its Drakkar garrison
40 faint click, then the => faint click; then the
41 fright; the => fright, the
42 The Nadziranim sorcerer => The Nadziran sorcerer
43 at worse => at worst???
45 in agreement then together => in agreement; then together
46 large Drakkarim backpack => large Drakkar backpack
47 unnatural silence, then suddenly => unnatural silence; then suddenly
50 the Drakkarim escort => the Drakkar escort
54 Zagganozod => ???Zaggannozod (armour + horse)
57 Tukodaks ??? (elsewhere 'Tukodak' is used as the plural form)
61 his men, then you => his men; then you
63 an 駘ite Drakkarim warrior => an 駘ite Drakkar warrior
64 a Drakkarim guard => a Drakkar guard
65 a Drakkarim encampment => a Drakkar encampment
65 a Drakkarim officer => a Drakkar officer
67 stairs to tower door => stairs to the tower door
67 complete silence, then he => complete silence; then he
70 rusty cover, then you => rusty cover; then you
71 a Drakkarim platoon => a Drakkar platoon
72 suspecting trickery, then slowly => suspecting trickery; then slowly
77 a fortified Drakkarim stronghold => a fortified Drakkar stronghold
78 slabs of rock, veined marble and other temple debris => slabs of
rock, veined marble, and other temple debris
90 a Drakkarim patrol => a Drakkar patrol
90 north east => north-east
90 Drakkarim town => Drakkar town
91 Tunnel Stalker, then you => Tunnel Stalker; then you
95 Zagganozod => ???Zaggannozod (armour + horse)
95 crusader's brave attack. => crusaders' brave attack.
101 a Drakkarim Death Knight Sergeant => a Drakkar Death Knight Sergeant
104 evoke => invoke
105 a Drakkarim cavalry platoon => a Drakkar cavalry platoon
108 hear splashes, then suddenly => hear splashes; then suddenly
111 to strike, then, with => to strike; then, with
115 A troop of Drakkarim cavalry are => A troop of Drakkarim cavalry is
118 come a regiment => comes a regiment
123 approaching footsteps, then through => approaching footsteps; then
through
124 the Drakkarim sergeant => the Drakkar sergeant
125 city gates, then you => city gates; then you
125 A regiment of Lencian Crusaders are => A regiment of Lencian
Crusaders is
125 group of Lencians are => group of Lencians is
129 no response, then a => no response; then a
137 berates them, then he => berates them; then he
137 to pass, then you => to pass; then you
141 in future => in the future
146 a Drakkarim guard => a Drakkar guard
147 a Drakkarim Death Knight Sergeant => a Drakkar Death Knight Sergeant
148 your blow, then its => your blow; then its
148 their sockets, then stiffly => their sockets; then stiffly
148 suspecting trickery, then slowly => suspecting trickery. Then slowly
149 the group, then dutifully => the group; then dutifully
150 You're not Drakkarim or Lencian => You're not Drakkar or Lencian
158 you can, then you => you can; then you
161 a Nadziranim sorcerer => a Nadziran sorcerer
162 flailing wildly, then it => flailing wildly; then it
162 rusty bars, then you => rusty bars; then you
162 brisk pace: After a => brisk pace. After a
163 who instinctively you recognize => whom instinctively you recognize
165 Tozaz forest, then, the => Tozaz forest; then, the
166 The garrison is thrown into a state of near-panic as they => The
garrison is thrown into a state of near-panic as it
171 . it is a landmark => . It is a landmark
176 your mate Kai skills => your innate Kai skills
180 quiver => ???Quiver
182 a Drakkarim Death Knight Sergeant => a Drakkar Death Knight Sergeant
183 your attack, then suddenly => your attack; then suddenly
184 to flight of stone steps => to a flight of stone steps
185 suspecting trickery, then slowly => suspecting trickery. Then slowly
189 the failing light, and the increasing sightings of Drakkarim patrols,
forces => the failing light, and the increasing sightings of Drakkarim
patrols, force
190 a massive hammer blow => ???massive hammer blows
190 end-over-end, then, with => end-over-end; then, with
193 smooth, dry and crumbly, => smooth, dry, and crumbly,
198 Drakkarim Sergeant => Drakkar Sergeant
201 his death, then a => his death; then a
202 the beach then, shaking => the beach; then, shaking
204 and. he => and he
206 Gaz rekenarim! => ??? (should this be 'Gaza' or 'Gazim' to agree in
number with 'rekenarim'?)
207 entire arm, then a => entire arm; then a
213 the Drakkarim commander => the Drakkar commander
215 he needs, then, with => he needs; then, with
222 a halt, then, very => a halt; then, very
233 your breath, then you => your breath; then you
227 minutes pass, then a => minutes pass; then a
227 it antlered head => its antlered head
227 through forest => through the forest
227 tree-line, then you => tree-line; then you
231 The Drakkarim garrison => The Drakkar garrison
232 The Drakkarim sergeant => The Drakkar sergeant
232 Drakkarim Sergeant => Drakkar Sergeant
240 steadily louder, then several => steadily louder; then several
241 an Arrow, then you => an Arrow; then you
245 to pass, then you => to pass; then you
248 wave of Drakkarim cavalry slam => wave of Drakkarim cavalry slams
248 against the square and are => against the square and is
248 heavy losses, then a => heavy losses; then a
248 Their armour, and the sheer weight of their attack, smashes => Their
armour, and the sheer weight of their attack, smash
248 Zagganozod => ???zaggannozod (armour + horse)
251 a fortified Drakkarim stronghold => a fortified Drakkar stronghold
252 a Drakkarim guard => a Drakkar guard
257 a Drakkarim machine => a Drakkar machine
259 horse trough, then they => horse trough; then they
260 Drakkarim patrol => Drakkar patrol
262 Drakkarim cavalry => Drakkar cavalry
264 and stiffen, then, with => and stiffen; then, with
266 The Drakkarim sergeant => The Drakkar sergeant
267 Zagganozod => ???Zaggannozod (armour + horse)
269 a fortified Drakkarim stronghold => a fortified Drakkar stronghold
272 this Drakkarim horde => this Drakkar horde
274 be raining, then you => be raining; then you
275 a small cabin hidden among the trees. It comprises four white canvas
tents => (should 'cabin' be 'camp' as in parallel sections?)
278 a fortified Drakkarim stronghold => a fortified Drakkar stronghold
279 a shudder, then suddenly => a shudder; then suddenly
280 leap out and seizes him. => leaps out and seizes him.
287 a fortified Drakkarim stronghold => a fortified Drakkar stronghold
288 of focus, then darkness => of focus; then darkness
290 If you possess Kai-alchemy => (this probably should include 'and wish
to use it,' because 'Any attempt to pick this lock could prove fatal.')
295 a Drakkarim sergeant => a Drakkar sergeant
296 someone is nearby. You can tell that they are => someone is nearby.
You can tell that he is
(or) => someone is nearby who is
296 You detect they are somewhere => You detect he is somewhere
298 You remove your hand to reveal the citadel of Holmgard stamped on the
reverse side of the coin. => (according to ref.56, the coin is showing
'heads')
304 faint click, then the => faint click; then the
314 you further, then the => you further; then the
314 climb them, then you => climb them; then you
314 the Drakkarim garrison is => the Drakkar garrison is
316 long pause, then a => long pause; then a
322 you ship the oars => you unship (?) the oars (dictionary.com defines
'ship' as 'To place (an oar) in a resting position inside a boat without
removing it from the oarlock.')
322 the oars, then together => the oars; then together
323 to pass, then you => to pass; then you
325 'we must => 'We must
329 have seen, then you => have seen; then you
330 a Drakkarim guard => a Drakkar guard
335 With a shriek; the => With a shriek, the
337 Gaz rekenarim! => ??? (should this be 'Gaza' or 'Gazim' to agree in
number with 'rekenarim'?)
341 crusader's => crusaders'
346 stream of bubbles are => stream of bubbles is
349 suspecting trickery, then slowly => suspecting trickery. Then slowly
_________________________________________________________________
大切なあの人、気になるあの人とケータイでチャット！
http://messenger.live.jp/mobile.htm
~~~~~~
Manage your subscription at //www.freelists.org/list/projectaon
Other related posts:
