[lit-ideas] Re: I think I'll come back as a squirrel next time
- From: David Ritchie <ritchierd@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sat, 28 Aug 2004 19:36:08 -0700
Border Collie: You stick to the trees. I killed one of you once and I know
I could do it again. Watch me fly around the yard. Be very afraid.
Douglas Fir Squirrel: Your mama! I outlived the other dog and I'm gonna
outlive you. I seen you with a plastic milk jug hanging from your lips, and
I ain't gonna respect no animal that has a milk jug hanging from its
lips...nosireee, nosiree, no--sir--ee. Tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt [it's
hard to think of a way of conveying their chastising noise. It's not a
happy sound].
Red Squirrel: Is it entirely wise to taunt the beast like that? One
wonders...one looks from side to side... one clings to one's lofty
perch...one chases one's mate and all rivals... One is of the opinion that
much can be done with first class tail fluffing.
Douglas Fir Squirrel: Man, I got a short summer in which to store up my
goods, dig up their bulbs, nest, dig a decent burrow, and I'm damned if I'm
gonna have some stooopid border collie keep me from what's rightfully mine.
I'm a god-damned, highly trained athlete.
Border Collie: "Stupid border collie" is an oxymoron, you moron... Oh god
there go those yapping whippetty things in next door's garden again. Sorry,
I have to go stick my nose up against the fence and quieten them with a
stare.
Red Squirrel: See, he's not all bad.
Douglas Fir Squirrel: Whose side you on?
Red Squirrel: I'm at least a hundred feet above being on anyone's side.
David Ritchie
Portland, Oregon
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