[ussbansheec] Where They're Meant to Be
- From: "Moria Grace" <bansheec@xxxxxxx>
- To: <ussbansheec@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Mon, 19 Sep 2005 19:19:13 -0400
"Where They're Meant to Be"
Jada Swiftwind S'Ghaladriel, Noah Ellis, and Nightwalker
Jada curled into a tighter ball on the couch as her dreams flitted through her
mind. First she was home on Dorvan V, she and Noah were alone for the very last
time...
"He's a good man and a good match," she'd told him, watching his face for any
sign that he opposed the wedding. But there was nothing. "I marry next week
back on ch'Rihan." Tell me you love me and I'll stay. That's all it would take.
Just tell me you love me...
"Please," she murmured out loud, shifting slightly in her sleep.
Noah had been padding back and froth between the living room and the kitchen.
He'd wanted to make something light for Jada for when she woke up. He'd watched
her as she slept, knowing the tell tale signs of a person walking the places of
dreams. He didn't want to disturb her but something about the look on her face
and the tone of her voice, it stuck him painfully. Knelling next to the couch
he brushed his fingers down her cheek. "Please what, e'lev?"
"Tell me you love me," she whispered, still dreaming but tears beginning to
trail down her temples to sink into her ruffled hair. "I'd stay, I'd never
leave... please."
Noah had looked at her fondly, agreed that Eamonn would be a good husband and
told her she was always welcome home. But he hadn't told her that he loved her,
he hadn't asked her to stay or that he wanted to be with her. He'd smiled. He'd
said goodbye and she'd cried all the way to ch'Rihan.
"I love you, Jada." Noah whispered. He wondered what she was dreaming about,
what images and memories were making her ask him that. "Wake up my Morning
Star. Your dreaming."
As her eyes flickered open, the gentle face of the young man was replaced by
the worried, weathered face of the man he'd become. "I left," she choked. "I'm
sorry I left."
"You would have stayed if I'd asked?" Noah asked as he pulled himself onto the
couch and then drew her into him.
"Yes, dear Elements, yes. I was begging you to, silently praying you would. But
you just said you were happy for me. I thought..." She shook her head, the wet
strands of her hair from her tears catching in her eyelashes. "It matters not.
It's in the past."
Noah's heart was breaking in his chest. Pain and anger flooded his eyes, and he
had only himself to blame. "I hurt you."
Again, she shook her head. "I should have told you, I should have been stronger
and braver like you always thought I was. But I'm not that sure and steadfast
woman you believe."
Stroking her hair, Noah leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "Having a
moment of weakness doesn't make you any less strong, e'lev." He couldn't help
but wonder what their lives would have been like if he had told her that day
that he loved her. But he quickly pushed those thoughts away, because if he had
then there wouldn't be a Ealasaid waiting somewhere for a very old man to bring
her back to her mother.
"Don't call me that," she said quietly. "Call me anything else, just not that."
Looking up into his eyes, she moved a little closer to him. "Please?"
Noah frowned. "I should have asked first I'm sorry."
"That's what Eamonn called me."
Noah flinched. He hadn't even thought that her husband would call her his love.
"I'm sorry." He said again as he kissed her crown.
"And please stop apologizing," she teased weakly. "You're beginning to sound
like what hru'diranov calls a stuck record." She offered him a small smile and
brushed delicate, long fingers over his cheek. "I'jol-au, I always have, and
it's my fault that we're here and not where we're meant to be."
Noah took her hand and kissed it's palm. "I'jol-au." He replied before kissing
her wrist. "But we are where we're meant to be, Jada. You and me and Ealasaid."
A sudden tremor of panic widened her eyes. "Where is Ealasaid?"
"She's in good hands." Noah smiled reassuringly. "Nightwalker has been walking
her around the gardens telling her all about our tribe. He'll bring her here
soon."
"Thank you, my love, I've been in safe hands too." Leaning against him, she let
herself relax again, her eyes drooping shut. But she didn't want to dream. All
she'd had were nightmares and cold dreams ever since Eamonn died.
Noah held her quietly for quiet awhile but he knew that if Nightwalker was
going to bring the baby home, then the old man would need to 'know' Jada was
alright. This of course meant making her talk about what happened. "Jada," He
said carefully, "tell me what happened."
"I'm not sure," she began. "It was during a maneuver of some kind, they said.
He was supervising a new pilot and their craft crashed. There were no
survivors." Slowly but sure, it hit her. It had been almost surreal ever since
it had happened but now it sank in. He was gone. "There were... oh Elements..."
she choked and couldn't speak again.
He wasn't sure what to say to her, so Noah simply held her tightly as she
cried.
A quiet knock on the door cut through the apartment as Nightwalker stood
outside, happily cooing to his newest grandchild. The grief from inside the
room flooded his mind for a moment and he frowned. That girl, he thought, has
been through enough. "Perhaps," he told Ealasaid, "your mama will finally tell
that boy she loves him and we can have an end to the nonsense."
"Jada," Noah said softly once again, "love, the baby and the old man are back."
She nodded slowly, raising puffy eyes to the welcomed face of Nightwalker. When
she tried to rise, he shook his head and told her the baby was fine.
"We just wanted to make sure little mother was fine too, didn't we, baby bear?"
He beamed at the tiny girl in his arms, sure in the knowledge that this one
would grow up to be the best of them all.
Noah kissed Jada softly and smiled before looking up at Nightwalker. "Baby
Bear?"
"Of course. This one's going to grow up to be big and strong, just like Black
Bear." At the slightly vague expressions of the other two, he chuckled. "That
was my great-great-grandfather. Big as a house, strong as an ox, brave as a
bear. Though she won't be nearly as big, she'll have his courage and his
strength. Won't you, baby bear?"
Noah laughed and cuddled Jada closer. "Now how do you suppose the bright
morning star ended up with a wolf and a bear?"
"Just good fortune," Jada said softly.
"Absolutely," Nightwalker agreed. "So she told you, eh?"
"We told each other." Noah beamed. "I wish to ask Traveling Wolf for her
blessing."
Laughing brightly, Nightwalker used his free hand to clap the boy around the
shoulder. "Can you truly imagine her saying no? You know she was so very
worried about you two when Jada married Eamonn? She believed that the two of
you were fated for each other. I guess she was right."
Noah looked shocked. "Did everyone know and not say anything? If you knew why
did you not say any thing to us?"
"I can't tell you what's directly in front of your face boy, otherwise I'd
spend my whole life pointing out the obvious." Nightwalker cuddled the little
girl in his arms. "Besides, she needed to leave and marry Eamonn, she need to
have baby bear."
Noah looked down at Jada with a bit of an 'that's what I said' look in his
eyes. Then he looked up at Nightwalker and the baby. Slipping carefully off the
couch, suddenly feeling empty without Jada in his arms, Noah walked closer to
Nightwalker. He looked down at the baby and smiled. She was beautiful. Looking
over his shoulder at Jada he asked, "May I hold her?"
"She's as much your daughter now as she is mine, my love," Jada said simply.
Turning back to Nightwalker, Noah very carefully took the baby from him. He
looked down into her tiny face, her bright eyes which were so much like her
mother's, and fell hopelessly in love. "How does that sound to you baby bear,
to have this old grey wolf as your papa?"
Ealasaid blinked up at him and smiled, the light in her eyes warming. She
reached out one tiny hand and wrapped it around one of his fingers, squeezing
as tightly as she could.
Noah had never known such emotions before. Walking very carefully as if his new
daughter were made of glass, Noah went back over to the couch and sat down next
to Jada. Not since the day Jada had left had he once thought that he would ever
have a family and yet here they were, here she was. His dreams of the large
grey wolf following the brightest of the first morning stars were not torments
after all. "I'jol-au, baby bear."
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