<USS Banshee> “Think Unsexy Thoughts”

  • From: CptHacker@xxxxxxx
  • To: ussbanshee@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Fri, 16 Jan 2004 00:22:52 EST

“Think Unsexy Thoughts”
by Samantha Mason and Sara Crusher 
Think unsexy thoughts. Think unsexy thoughts. Max mouthed the words to 
himself as he entered the isolation chamber where Samantha Mason lay. For weeks 
had been attending to her and the symptoms of the Zimlubarian flu; for weeks he 
had also had the chance to admire her naked up close and now, it was wrecking 
havoc on his relationship.
The Zimlubarian flu went through stages as the parasites grew and left her 
brain causing hallucinations and finally a hormonal overload. For the weeks 
(weeks that were much too short) Max had watched Samantha writhe, moan, and 
her clothing off as she babbled incoherently and hit things in the small 
chamber. He knew that they were psychotic dreams brought on by the overload of 
electrical impulses in her brain, what the Kool Aid man had to do with them he 
t know. 
It wasn’t entirely bad watching her feminine form dance around that small 
room. It helped him better than an entire case of Viagra. His girlfriend, 
even noticed. “What’s gotten you all peppie?” She squealed before 
off into her tittering as Max entered her (she tittered like a school girl 
whenever they had intercourse). Max let her giggle, by the time she was 
(and by the time he was finished) she wouldn’t remember what she was asking 
the first place and start cooing his name like a pigeon waiting for the old 
man in Central Park to throw down some more breadcrumbs.
Things went great in those early days until the day that Daphne had stopped 
in for some surprise-at-work-sex and caught him huffing and puffing away behind 
a console to a writhing Samantha. Samantha clawed at the thin air yelling “My 
dress! My dress! Stop you wretched monkey!” She punctuated it with a scream 
that made Daphne scream that finally brought Jenny running into the room in a 
bit of astonishment (she screamed too) to find Max, Samantha, and Daphne in the 
positions they were in.
Max was delegated to working far off from Samantha only able to put together 
the necessary drugs and sedatives she needed. Max also owed Daphne a great 
deal of make-up-sex. Daphne demanded it sometimes three times a day to ten 
and it was becoming more and more laborious. 
He had to see Samantha. Daphne was becoming too much – for a relationship 
based solely on sex anyway. Max was determined that he go and see Samantha to 
whatever feeling was left back again and in a way, he felt, reclaim his 
manhood, but his hopes were dashed with these words: “…shat on a whasper, 
he did!! 
Don’t touch me chickenwhorse! I’ll have you!” Samantha was awake and 
“You’re seeing things, dear,” Jenny said. “There just relax. You’ll 
better soon enough.” The isolation door was open and Jenny was standing 
administering a hypospray to Samantha. The door being propped open froze Max 
where he was for two reasons: 1. he got a great view of Samantha (it got the 
blood flowing); 2. If Samantha ever got out in the condition she was in it 
could be very, very bad, especially now in the final stage of the flu she would 
be a PMSing nymphomaniac. 
“Morning!” Max said. 
“Max,” Jenny said.” Go back to your assignments. I’ll deal with her.” 
“How’s, how’s she doing? Are there any side effects, I mean, she’s 
imbalanced?” He swallowed. Jenny was older than him and his superior, but he 
usually fraternized with her like a friend and somewhere in his head it felt 
a little white lie standing there and hoping that she would need his help 
working up close with Samantha. 
“She’s seeing things still, not much else has surfaced.”
“Still?” His boner flopped. Samantha for all purposes should have been in 
her “wild on” mode about now. 
The blood didn’t even get a moment to flow towards his head when Samantha 
softly parted her lips and said, “Last thing I remember was stroking my 
where is Artemis anyway?” She perched her head over the side of the biobed. 
Here pussy, pussy…”
“Mr. Hutchinson is taking care of your cat,” Jenny said, giving Max the 
enough to re-rush the blood back to his head. “He’s also banned from coming 
in here.” She narrowed her eyes at Max. Max knew why Wallace was banned and 
the only reason he wasn’t was because he worked in sickbay. Max only grinned 
stepped back from the isolation chamber door.
“Noo!” Samantha flung her arms up. They only flopped down by her side 
“That Wallace! He’s rubbing my pussy all backwards, I know it!” She0 
for the side of the biobed. “I’m going to kill him.” 
The word “kill” sent Max’s hand onto the door’s control panel, but 
pushed her back down by the shoulders. “Sorry, you can’t leave isolation.”
“Isolation?” Samantha perked and tried to break free again. 
“The Zimlubarian flu, dear.”
“Zimm—what? Flu? Oh my god, this better not have to do with that bloody 
monkey! Get off! I’ll…I’ll bite you!” She struggled and snapped her jaw 
at Jenny’
s arm but the head nurse proved to be faster than Samantha and kept her at 
“Monkey?” Jenny asked. “Actually the Zimlubarian flu is easier 
through monkeys. When did you come in contact with a monkey?”
“O, when it was tearing my dress—no, no, I, I never came in contact with a 
monkey and if you say otherwise you’ll have your head for breakfast and your 
arms for supper!” Samantha scrapped at Jenny’s uniform but after a minute 
collapsed in a heap of heavy breathing and chest heaving. Max hid behind the 
wiping the sweat from his brow. 
Max found himself throbbing and no Daphne in sight and there was no chance 
that Jenny would ever leave to give him that precious moment alone. He twiddled 
his thumbs, combed his hair, anything to keep his hands busy. Behind him 
Samantha thrashed and slammed her buxom body around a tight restraining field 
put up. He didn’t want to turn around, it would be like looking at the Medusa 
of sex, but his eyes searched all of the reflective surfaces for one glimpse. 
“Oh god,” Samantha said. “What’s happening? I’m so restless.” 
“That’s the third stage of the virus kicking in,” Jenny said. “You’re 
and mind have undergone some extreme physiological and psychological changes 
in the past few weeks.”
“Third stage?” Samantha cried. “What’s the third stage?”
“A massive hormonal hemorrhage has occurred in your body and it’s shocked. 
m not surprised if you feel extremely moody or…aroused.” 
“Well you are looking quite tasty,” Samantha said. Max snapped his head 
around and peered into the isolation chamber. 
“Tasty?” Jenny said. 
Samantha worked herself into an awkwardly seductive pose and smiled with a 
crazed look in her eyes. She tittered like Daphne and tickled the forcefield 
with her fingertips. It was like the best of both worlds.
“I feel warm and itchy,” Samantha said kicking her legs on the bed. 
like a spot I can’t scratch, maybe you could help me?” She pressed her hand 
against the forcefield. “Please.” She looked up at Jenny, then at Max like 
poor little puppy. Max pushed against the wall until he was sure that his 
fingers would snap backwards. Samantha beckoned at him with her voice. “Help 
“I don’t think that would be wise,” Jenny said, her eyes on Max. She 
Samantha again. “You need to relax and allow me to run a few tests. 
will be better once we find the right combination of meds for you.” 
“I don’t want meds!” Samantha punched the forcefield. “Give me him!” 
wolfish eyes fixated on Max, she licked her lips. The forcefield sizzled as 
Samantha tried to break through with her hand. 
Max’s heart skipped beats as he waited for Jenny to say, “alright,” but 
only made her way out and sealed the chamber again. “I’ll search through 
pharmacy and get the meds,” Max said. Jenny released the forcefield around 
Samantha and went off to check on other patients. Max hid himself behind a 
console looking up the right medication for her.
“Hey, hey you!” Samantha said. She banged on the glass. “You can’t be 
frigid! Wait, I have an idea, get me Wallace! He’s always horny. Get Wallace 
in here! Or get yourself in here!”
“I’ve got work to do,” Max said. 
“I’ll be gentle!” Samantha slammed her splayed hands on the window. 
be gentle!” 
Max empted a hypospray and put it into the one-way drawer and closed it. “
Have fun.” 
Samantha eagerly opened it. “What? There’s nothing—O, you dirty little 
whore. It’s all rough and twisted. I can’t use this! Bother!” She paced 
madly and 
after a moment added: “Don’t look you pervert!” 
“I’m trying not too,” Max mumbled.
“O! Ahh! That’s weird!” Samantha flung the hypospray across the chamber. 
need something, warm, soft and big! Get. In. Here!” She banged the window. “
I swear to God if I ever get out of here you’ll be the first to know!”
Max ignored her and found what he was looking for. He took his PADD to Jenny. 
“It’s called an anti-Viagra. It’ll make her less aroused.”
“Why do I feel that some crotchety old doctor somewhere got it up and 
t get it back down,” Jenny said reading the PADD. 
“There’s one draw back. Side effects include depression.” 
“One extreme to the next. Well, we can deal with that better than a hormonal 
nymphomaniac. Synthesize it and administer it as soon as possible.”
Max did and prepared the hypospray. Samantha’s banging, kicking, and 
screaming finally tired her out and she laid on the biobed wrapped in a 
blanket. Now 
would be the perfect chance to administer the antiviagra but Jenny wasn’t 
around and Max dreaded the thought of coming so close to her now that she was 
conscious, but his penis guided him to the door lock and his fingers (trying to 
keep busy) punched in the door code. The door hissed open and he found himself 
stepped into the antechamber and unlocking the second door into the room with 
Samantha. He kept the doors propped open; Samantha wasn’t contagious just 
Max crept to Samantha’s bedside. His shaky hand brought the hypospray to her 
neck. He would inject her and run for the door and shut it. He could also do a 
lot of other things, but he mouthed “think unsexy thoughts” and dreamt of 
being attacked by a horde of zombies, but the horde turned into a horde of 
Samanthas converging on him tearing his clothes off. He perched over her 
listening to her soft breath. “Keep it together, Max.” 
Snatch! Max found himself falling backwards and Samantha was sitting up on 
the bed, her cat eyes wide-open. Max didn’t have the hypospray in his hand, 
was in her hand! Samantha charged for the door. 
“She’s getting away!” Max yelled.
“Stop right there!” Jenny called as she raced to stop Samantha. Max heard 
struggling and the sound of a hypospray. Jenny shrieked and the door closed. 
“Oh no! Jenny!!” Max said. Samantha had gotten away! “Secur—“ 
Max was slapped in his face snapping him back from his blurred daze. “Now, 
now, we won’t have none of that!” Samantha grabbed the combadge from 
breast and pulled it apart with her nails throwing it in bits all around. 
Max huddled staring stupidly at Samantha, naked, looming over him. Her lips 
stretched into a smirk and her eyes narrowed. Max croaked some words, pushed 
her aside and darted for the door. He banged on the door and cried for Jenny 
there was only a mournful cry on the other side. Max stood and looked out the 
window and there was Jenny weeping. The hypospray laid by her. “Oh no. Open 
the door Jenny!” She didn’t budge. 
Samantha wrapped her arms around him and kissed Max’s neck. “No one’s 
to be opening that door for a while. You know why, my dear, dear little pet?” 
She leaned in and whispered: “I override the codes and broke the locking 
mechanism, we’ll have plenty of time!” Max shuddered and tried to draw away 
her. Samantha giggled devilishly. “Why don’t you get out of this itchy 
uniform, my pet.” She rubbed up against him and stroked his hair. “It must 
be so 
“I’m fine,” Max croaked. 
“You’ll be better when we’re through! Oh look! You’re all ready for 
Samantha threw him on the floor. “Now make mommy happy!” 
Max screamed and clawed at first, then he and Samantha screamed and clawed 
together, but after the first hour he couldn’t even remember Daphne’s name 
Samatha’s voice had gone out – though her enthusiasm hadn’t.
continued in sim...
[what happened afterwards from the Jan 15 2004 sim: Daphne found Max and 
Samantha in the chamber at the same time Wallace did. Daphne and Wallace got 
a bit of a scuffle ending with Daphne getting a neckfull of anti-Viagra making 
her ueber-depressed. Wallace then thought that putting Max, Daphne, and Jenny 
in the isolation chamber was a good idea and he let Samantha out. Samantha is 
free and roaming the Banshee sans clothing...Ooo lala!]

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  • » <USS Banshee> “Think Unsexy Thoughts”