<USS Banshee> "It's all in the Eye"
- From: EnsnSaraCrusher@xxxxxxx
- To: ussbanshee@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Sun, 26 Jan 2003 22:01:18 EST
"It's all in the Eyes"
By Lt. Sara Crusher
"CRUSHER!"
Sara jumped to her feet at the familiar bellowing of her name. What had she
done this time? The tone and volume of the voice told Sara to hide, but that
would only make what was coming worse on her. She rushed into sick bay to see
just what she knew would be there.
"CRUSHER!"
"Yes Captain Morrigan?" Sara replied as she walked up to her Captain.
Morrigan sat in her hover chair; glaring at her. The look was nothing knew to
Sara; she had see it before. It was the look that told her that the match had
been lit and that the temperature of the high performance grill that was
Morrigan’s tempter was rising. Sara stood at attention a few feet from the
chair and looked at Morrigan’s face. She wasn’t quite brave enough to look
her in the eyes.
"I’m still in this chair, Crusher!" The Captain sniped.
Sara swallowed hard as all the color drained from her face. "Yes, Ma’am. I
know. I’ve been trying to remedy all of this but Admiral Fatima refuses to
see me and Doctor Prince can come to DS9 but he can’t very well bring his
whole facility with him, Ma‘am. The surgery must be done on Earth to be done
successfully."
Sara’s voice quivered the entire time she spoke. She tried not to overreact.
She tried to remember everything she and Cyanah had talked about a few nights
before, but her mind was drawing a blank. Sara’s eyes locked on Captain
Morrigan as she wielded her cane impatiently. The long sliver rod made a
horrible noise as it sliced through the air. The sickening hiss seemed to
accompany the crackling of the electric blue charges that sparked from the
tip perfectly. The tip of the cane was thrust in her direction and Sara
winced as she anticipated the shock, but nothing happened. When she opened
her eyes the cane was mere inches away from her left thigh. Her heart was
pounding so loudly in her ears she barely heard the Captain speak again.
"Those sound like excuses to me, Crusher!" Morrigan’s grey eyes seemed to
radiate the same electric blue energy her cane did as they looked Sara up and
down. Sara started to wonder if the cane worked on some kind of battery pack
or off Morrigan herself.
"No... No Ma’am. I’m not making excuses. It’s just how things are working
out, Ma’am. I’m trying. I swear to you I’m trying." Sara didn’t know
what
to watch, the cane or the woman holding it. Her eyes darted between the two
and every time Morrigan made the slightest amount of movement Sara flinched.
"Then your not trying hard enough!" Morrigan moved closer to Sara. "What am I
going to do with you, Crusher! You can’t handle the simplest of tasks! You can
‘t even comply with the simplest of requests! Cyanah asked you to get me out
of this didn‘t she!?"
Sara was trembling. The image of Cyanah sitting on the couch in her office
asking her to help Morrigan blurred past her mind‘s eye. Morrigan‘s gaze
felt as if it were burning a hole through Sara. Daring her to say something.
She tried to think of a defense, but there wasn’t one. Morrigan was right. She
’s couldn’t do what Cyanah had asked. What she herself wanted as well. She
didn’t want to see her Captain out on trial. She knew just as well as anyone
she didn’t try to kill the Legate. She had seen first hand what they had done
to her while the look alike tried to kill the Cardassian leader.
"Well!?" Morrigan sniped again. "Didn’t she?!"
"Yes!" Sara finally spat out as tears stung her eyes.
"And you haven’t have you!? Not even for her!"
"No!" Sara slammed her eyes shut forcing a tear past her lashes. She didn’t
know weather to be mad, scared, hurt, or ashamed. Her breathing was becoming
erratic as she opened her mouth to speck again. "No Ma’am." She said a lot
softer then before. "But..."
"But your trying." Morrigan said mockingly.
"This is not a simple task!" Sara shouted back.
"Nothings ever simple for you is it Crusher?... Or is it?.... You can‘t seem
to get me out of this chair, but you seem to be real good at hiding things
from me." Morrigan moved her chair forward as she spoke and watched as Sara
backed away from her. She kept moving until she had Sara up against the wall.
The tip of her cane hovered inches away from Sara’s nose causing Sara to go
all cross eyed.
"I don’t know what your talking about, Ma’am." Sara whispered.
"Yes you do." Morrigan said as she lowered the cane. She forced Sara into
making eye contact with her. There was pain in those grey eyes know. Sara
felt as if she were going to be sick.
Sara did know. It had been bothering her for weeks and seeing Morrigan in her
hover chair, knowing what happened to put her there, just reminded her of the
promise she made to Jvan. The secret they kept from her. Sara didn’t know
what to say. What could she say? She stood there completely numb. Her own
green eyes seemed small, dull and lifeless reflected in the burring grey
depths of Morrigan's. For any instant Sara felt as if she knew the woman
before her. Knew her not as her Captain but as someone else.
"You’ve let me down, Sara. I trusted you. I believed in you." Now
Morrigan’s
voice was quivering. "I expected so much more form you, Sara."
Tears now fell freely from Sara‘s eyes as she shook her head frantically.
"I’
m sorry!" She said breathlessly. "I didn’t mean to! I’m sorry!"
"You’ve disappointed me, Sara."
"I’m sorry!" Sara’s heart began to pound in her chest and she broke into a
cold sweat. Her whole body shook under Morrigan’s stare. She couldn’t
breath
as she felt the room closing in on her. Morrigan’s words echoed off the
walls. "You’ve disappointed me, Sara." Her knees finally gave in and Sara
went crashing to the floor in a full blown panic attack.
Sara’s head hit the back of her desk chair as she tried in vain to suck air
into her lungs. She scampered back trying to get away from the images and
words that lingered in her mind, sending the high backed chair into the
window behind her. Grabbing her chest as she hyperventilated Sara looked
around the room. Slowly it started to dawn on her where she was and that it
had all been a dream.
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