<USS Banshee> "In the Meaning of Dreams" Chp. 7
- From: "Brad Ruder" <GroundZero@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: ussbanshee@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Fri, 21 Feb 2003 15:57:06 -0800
?In the Meaning of Dreams?
by Lieutenant
Joshua Asper
Chapter Seven ?
?A Departed
Generation? The wind blew as leaves slowly
cascaded down from the decaying trees and onto the grassy knoll.
They moved without effort, like upon the wings of invisible birds, as
they slowly dropped to the ground. Josh?s hair shifted in the
direction of the cool breeze, but his eyes still weren?t swayed from
the scene before. Though the grass was green, the sky blue, and the
clouds a crystal white, the vast picture before him was gray and
gloomy.
Taking a breath he took a step forward. He moved
quietly through the grass, it brushing against the black of his
shoes, towards the group that was assembled in a circle ahead of him.
He had a dress uniform on, his pips shining off the radiating site.
Josh felt the moment bittersweet as the sun shone down without
resistance, but shined upon a situation riddled with a curtain of
death.
People parted as Josh approached, leaving him a clear
path to his lost prize. With every step he could feel the tears
welling up inside him, but for the sake of his already crying little
brother being embraced by his sister he took deep breaths and held
back his emotions. Standing before the throng of relatives and
friends, Josh pulled out a PADD holding his mother?s eulogy.
Gulping in one last breath before he gave the final address
on his mother?s life, Josh watched the empty eyes penetrate his
troubled and emotionally unstable soul. At that moment, as the eyes
met his, Josh wanted nothing more than to express all his suppressed
feelings. Pushing them away again, Josh opened his mouth and
spoke:
?To those that knew my mother better than I, which
is most people, she was a woman of extreme beauty, dedication, and
intellect. She could sit and talk with our next-door neighbor for
hours on end over a cup of a steaming tea about anything from weather
to inter-species politics. She could sit at the table and work with
materials of all shapes, sizes, and textures, and still be able to
offer a smile when we all knew she was working in vain. A goal that
we all saw as vain, but to her it was the Holy Grail.?
Someone in the crowd stifled a cry as Josh
continued.
?She made sure that life?s simplest treasures
were given the same amount of respect and time as life?s most complex
problems. Catherine Asper was someone who, when you looked into her
eyes, you found not just her soul, but also her entire being
unraveling before you. I remember, when I was little, she would
bring me things just because she wanted to ? no special reason. To
her, everyone was special, and she made sure those people knew it.?
Josh wiped a tear from his eye as he struggled to focus
on the PADD in his hand.
?My mother will be missed. I miss
her already and it pains me to know that I can?t do anything about
it. To know that with her undying strength that I can?t match it to
help her is disturbing. A feeling of helplessness has overcome me,
and an even thicker cloud of uncertainty has descended into my life.
Without her just a communication call away, I?m left with no one to
discuss my childhood with besides my siblings.?Josh
watched as his sister, Olivia, and his brother, Jerrad, huddled
together and nodded their approval before being sucked back under by
their torrents of tears.
?There isn?t much more to say
about her, about her character, or about her life. They were
spectacular in every way, and she was a model to those who struggled
to find strength. My mother was strength, and she?ll continue to be
that until the day that my eyes close for the final time. She?s
gone, but her spirit is in all of those that she knew and touched. I
know, I?m one of them. Thank you.? Returning the PADD
to his pocket, Josh embraced his sister and his little brother. Both
were sobbing uncontrollably and all that he could do was tell them
that everything was OK for the tears wouldn?t fall. Olivia broke
away from the group and scampered up the hill, her hand clasped to
her face in distress and worry. Jerrad shouted her name, but to no
avail, and Josh moved up to follow her.
The wind battered
him as he struggled to conquer the hill to aid his troubled sister.
Her back was to him as her long brown hair danced and swayed in the
wind. Her eyes were locked on the mountains rising out of the
horizon like Gods over their followers. One stray tear slid down her
cheek and off into nothingness as the wind took hold of it?s future.
Olivia shook her head, her eyes still focused intensely on the
landscape before them.
Josh reached out and put a hand on her
shoulder and that was it. The tears wouldn?t stop flowing as she
turned hastily and collapsed into his loving touch. Her cries
escaped her lips and were swallowed up by his dress uniform and her
hands pounding gently on his chest. She tried muttering words, but
they came out slurred and intangible. Josh stroked her hair
carefully as she continued to pant and cry out.
Olivia wiped a
tear from her face, and Josh watched as another almost instantly took
it?s place. She kept trying, in vain, to stop the water from flowing
onto her fine facial features. It was a futile attempt and she
quickly ceased, falling back helplessly into her brother?s arms.
?She?s gone??
?It?s all right??
?I miss her so
much.?
?I know you do ? we all do.?
?She was right
there, and then she was gone.?
?I know, I?ve struggled through
it before too.? Josh tried his hardest to make his words have depth,
rather than have them fall harmlessly away with a ringing of
hollowness echoing in the aftermath. ?We lost dad almost eight years
ago.?
Olivia looked up into his eyes, her blue eyes matching
his. ?How can you stay so calm, cool, and collected when our mother
is lying there in the photon torpedo casing?? She looked appalled at
his lack of emotion. ?You?re not Vulcan, Josh, you can?t hide away
what you feel.?
?I can try.?
?It?s not good for you,
Josh.? Olivia pleaded with her brother to open up.
?I can?t,
not now.? Shaking his head he stepped away from her and underneath a
nearby tree. He slid down the trunk, his dress uniform rubbing
against it and dirtying it, but at this point he couldn?t care.
?Jerrad is the most volatile of us all, if I break down now he?ll
have no one strong to look up to.?
Olivia smiled, ?That?s our
mother showing through ? always trying to be the strongest. Never
for herself, but for others. You?re just like both of them, mom and
dad, you?ve got qualities of both.?
Josh turned to look at
her, his emotional barriers starting to creak and crack under the
pressure of interrogation from his sister, ?He needs someone like
that right now. I know I needed it when dad died.?
?For now,
Jerrad will be OK, you on the other hand need to face the fact that
she?s gone and not coming back.?
It struck him like a blunt
object to the back of the head. At first he couldn?t breathe as he
tried to analyze and comprehend what she was saying. After all that
he?d gone through trying to reconcile his difference with his
estranged mother, she?d collapsed to the same disease that had
plagued his father less than a decade before. It was like a haunting
image that floated up and took hold of the living
realm.
?Josh, it?s time you let other people in on what you?re
thinking.? Olivia?s soft touch enveloped his knee as she looked at
him; concern, love, and stress lining her face. ?You need to
talk.?
He puckered his lips, refusing to cry at this moment of
emotional triumph. He would mourn, more than all the people that
stared at her lifeless body, but not here and not now. The confines
of his own quarters would be his shrine for mediation, reflection,
and mourning of the dead. Now was a time for outward strength and
confidence.
Hayden, Josh?s brother-in-law, trudged up the hill
and gazed at the two siblings enjoying a moment of closure and an
emotional remedy; he looked somber. He opened his mouth and went to
speak, but the words echoed into the abyss of gusting winds and
falling leaves. After struggling with it for a moment, and choking
back several onslaughts of tears, Hayden got out the two words that
he was looking for. ?It?s time.?
Josh looked down, knowing
full well what was coming and not wanting to face it. Olivia grasped
his hand and helped him to his feet as he stared down the hill at the
gathering that was still intact. Meeting eyes with his beloved
sister again they walked down the lawn on the slope back to the
ceremonial site. Jerrad crumbled to the ground in tears again and
began sobbing hysterically.
Stepping up behind the podium,
Josh pulled yet another PADD from his pocket. ?To those that wish to
travel beyond life into eternity ? let this ceremony act as a symbol
to that never-ending goal.? With a click on the PADD an order was
sent. The torpedo casing holding his mother was transported to the
nearest munitions depot and shot off into space.
It glowed
bright like a sun, then decreased into a star, then eventually
traveled so far that a shining speck slowly became nothing as his
mother was propelled into a future that only she would know until
joined by her offspring. A generation stepped aside for its
successor.
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