<USS Banshee> Greeks and Fleets

  • From: EnsnSaraCrusher@xxxxxxx
  • To: ussbanshee@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Sat, 20 Jul 2002 16:08:06 EDT

Greeks and Fleets 
By Ensign Sara Crusher

With Help from:
Ensign Cyanah Kaelyre
Ensign Zoya Markus
Ensign Anthony D'Vorak
Lt. Josh Asper
Arisphanes (wrote the play)
and Jeffrey Henderson (reworded the play)

Sara sat alone at a small table near the windows of 3 forward. She had a 
rather mischievous out the window. She was so lost in her thoughts that she 
didn’t even notice Anthony, who was standing by the bar, or Josh who had just 
come into the room. 

"I wouldn’t go over there." Anthony said when he noticed Josh moving in 
s direction. 

"And why shouldn’t I go over there?" Josh asked.

Anthony looked at Sara and then at Josh. "She’s up to something and if either 
one of us goes over there, she pull us into what ever that little red head of 
hers is cooking up." 

"And you would know this how?" Josh asked as he moved to the bar and ordered 
a drink. 

Anthony laughed, "I’ve known her far to long not to know when she’s 

Josh thought about it as he took a drink of the root beer he had ordered. He 
didn’t like being told not to go over to his own girlfriend but Anthony has 
known her a lot longer. 

The two men were standing at the bar talking when Sara finally noticed them. 
She smiled and then stood trying to get their attention. 

"Avoid eye contact." Anthony pushed Josh’s head to the side, and was
gazing at the bartender. "Hey, Kevin, how’s it goin’?"

Kevin gazed at the two and then stared across at Sara, now with her hands on 
her hips and her expression now angry. Kevin wiped a glass clean and put it 
back on the shelf, "I know her better than that. You two are on your own."

"We’re done for." Anthony sighed. 

"I know you two see me now get your Star Fleet butts over here." She called 
out to them The guys moved slowly towards the table. 

Sara and Josh exchanged a quick kiss before the three of them took their 
seats. "I am so glad to see both of you." She squealed, sounding very much 
like a teenager with a plan that would get everyone in trouble. "I have been 
given the Ok from the lady in the big chair to put on a play."

Anthony quickly bolted from his chair, but the look he was getting from Sara 
made him sit again. Josh leaned back, his eyes gazing towards the ceiling. 
"Great, a play." He shut up as Sara threw him his own glare.

"I already have the play picked out, now all I have to do is round up my 
troop." Sara continued. 

"Good luck." Josh stood up, but Sara’s hand pulled him back down into his 

Anthony at that moment was thinking that he would love to get his hands on a 
certain relative of hers.

Sara was either not paying attention to the two men sitting across from her 
or she didn’t care.  "You both will meet me in the auditorium in two days 
after the day shift. It’s on deck eight. And don’t make me come looking for 
you." She smiled sweetly after kissing Josh and giving Anthony a peck on the 
check. "Oh and just a warning; Terje has still limited my coffee in take." 
She smiled once again and then left the room.

Josh looked around. "Limited coffee intake? I’m surprised she hasn’t taken 
over the ship yet."

"This play that she’s got going, is just her way of torturing the other sane 
people here because she can’t get her caffeine. Thanks Josh, I told you we 
would be sucked in." Said Anthony as he sunk into his chair. 

Sara walked down the hall towards a turbo lift. "Ok." She said to herself. "I’
ve got Josh and Scooby as well as myself and a few other crewmembers. But I 
still need my lead." 
She knew exactly who she wanted as the lead. She wanted someone with the 
attitude and timing that would make that role rock. The question is would she 
agree to it. Sara entered the turbo lift and called out for deck 7. As the 
turbo lift hummed it’s way though the ship Sara started thinking of ways to 
get the other wise quite science officer she was about to drop in on to agree 
to do this with her.    

Sara walked into the science lab and grinned a bit as she watched Cyanah 
working. "Hey Cy. Are you busy?

Cyanah looked up from the experiment she was running on the console to see 
Sara standing in the door frame. "Not really." She smiled a bit when she saw 
the look on her friend’s face. "What is it, Sara?" She teased.

Sara blinked as she tried to figure out how she had known. Was she that 
transparent.  "How'd you know I wanted something?"

"You have that look about you." Cy teased with a smile. 

Sara blushed a bit as she moved closer to the desk. "Well I was just 
wondering if you were up for a bit of fun?"

Cy arched her eyebrows.  "What kind of fun?"

"How would you like to help me put on a play for the crew?" Sara asked as 
sweetly as she could. 
Cyanah looked a bit like a deer caught in head lights. "A play? I've never 
acted before, Sara."

"That's ok neither has half the people I've asked so far. But it's all for 
fun and besides I need someone like you to play the lead." 

Cy laughed as she thought about it. "The lead? Sara, do yourself a favor and 
get someone talented."

"I have. You forget I can sense things in people. Trust me you'd be great at 
it." Said Sara in reply trying to ease her friends fears. 

"You're serious about this?" Cyanah asked. 

Sara just smiled sweetly and nodded.

Cyanah thought about it a bit. She couldn’t help but think that Sara was a 
pro when it came to getting what she wanted. The little angle face she was 
getting was perfect. Cyanah finally gave in, she nodded and said. "All right 
then. For a friend."

Sara wrapped her arms around Cy to give her a big hug. "Thanks Cy! Your the 
greatest! Meet us in the auditorium on deck 8. And I promise you’ll have 

Cy smiled as she returned the hug. "I'll hold you to that."

Sara gave her friend one last smile as she headed for the door "In two days 
after the day shift. See ya there." She shouted as she walked out of the 

The small group of reluctant actors gathered in the Banshee’s small 
auditorium and waited for Sara to explain what they had been roped into. Sara 
entered the turbo lift and called out for deck 8 as she reread the 
information on her padd. "This part will be perfect for Anthony." She laughed 
as she imaged the guys in their stage costumes. She was so glad that the 
Captain had agreed to let her put on this play for the crew, after all she 
hasn‘t exactly been on the Captain‘s good side lately. Sara stepped out of 
the turbo lift and headed for the auditorium. When she entered she saw that 
everyone was already there. Even Zoya was there. She had been one of the 
first people Sara had approached and was also one of the few she didn‘t have 
to hustle to get to join up. "Great!" She said as she walked over to them. 
"Now we can get started." Sara walked over and grabbed a hand full of padds 
and passed them out to the others. 

"What's up Sara?" Anthony stared down at the padd he had just been given. He 
turned his padd every which way examining it.  He looked up at Sara more then 
a bit confused.  "What is this play you've roped me into?"

"It's a greek comedy called Lysistrata. It's about a group of greek wives 
during a time of war." She told them.

Anthony looked at Sara again.  "Two questions. One, if this is greek where is 
all the weird speech and second who’s husband do I play?" 

"Well she started, this is an adapted version using more modern terms." They 
all nodded their heads as they looked over the much easier to understand 

Sara couldn’t help but smile as she answered Anthony‘s second question. 
"Your not going to be playing husbands." Said Sara as she watched his and Josh
’s face. "Check out page 47. Your parts are listed there"

Anthony looked at Sara again, this time even more confused. "What will we be 
playing then?" He flipped through the pages to number 47.  He looked up wide 
eyed.  "All there are is women on this page." The smiled that was engulfing 
Sara’s bright face down right scared both men. 

But before either could protest Sara began to explain the plot. "Ok here’s 
the skinny on this play. A group of women from Athens, Sparta and Thebes have 
come together under the direction of Lysistrata. The reason for this little 
get together is that the women are sick of their husbands going off to war. 
So they have decided to take matters into their own hands. Under the 
leadership of Lysistrata played by Cyanah, the women both young and old take 
over the acropolis and go on strike." 

"What kind of strike?" Asked Josh.

Cy smiled as she leaned closer to Josh. "a sex strike." 

The whole room laughed at the look on Josh‘s face. "Ok." Said Sara, "lets run 
though the scenes." After placing Cyanah and Zoya on the stage Sara took a 
seat with the others to watch them read off the first couple of lines from 
the opening scene. 

They had had only two weeks of rehearsal but from what Sara had seen so far 
that was time well spent. She stood in the wings watching Cyanah as she 
prepared to go on stage. She had the part nailed. The audience was loving it, 
they laughed in all the right places, the women in the crowd cheered and the 
men looked a bit confused. 

"Hail, leader of our common enterprise!  But why emerge? How come you look so 
sad?" Zoya asked as Cyanah walked out onto the stage, which looked like a 
greek post card. 

No one with eyes could ignore how remarkable Cyanah looked in her costume. 
The way the classic greek toga draped and hugged all the right places. The 
way it flowed as she walked to the center of the stage to stand on her mark. 
"The wives reveal their baseness and grow weak. It's got me down, I don't 
know what to do."

"What's that you say?" Asked Zoya as she moved closer. She also looked 
graceful and charming in her robes. The pale blues only becoming more crisp 
as she stood next to the royal blues in Cyanah’s. 

"It's true, it's true." Said Cyanah with the perfect sigh. 

Sara smiled as she watched the exchange between the two. Cy had such presence 
on the stage that Sara was glad she had turned on the little girl charm to 
get her to agree to do the play. 

"Let's hear it all, we're friends that you can trust." Zoya pleaded on stage. 

Cy lowed her head. "A shame to speak but risky to keep quiet."

"Don't hide a crisis that affects us all!" Zoya said in a worried tone. One 
of which Sara thought sounded perfect coming from a counselor.
Cy moved across the stage to take her second mark as she said. "I'll make it 
short... they're dying to get laid." 

The crowd roared with laughter as Zoya added her tag line "Oh by the gods!"

Sara laughed as well until she noticed that Josh and Anthony were no where in 
sight and their queues would be coming up soon. She walked back towards the 
dressing rooms, making sure to hold up the length of her own robes as she 
moved. She knocked on the door. "Are you two in there?" She yelled though the 

"Where not coming out!" Came a reply from Anthony. 

"The whole ship is out there and you want us to look like this. I’ll get 
laughed off the bridge." Shouted Josh. 

Sara couldn’t help but laugh, she was quite sure that the Captain would get a 
kick out of seeing her pain in the rear tac officer in his costume. "Come on 
guys you can’t do this to me. Your almost on. Get you rears out here or 

There was a long silence and then the dressing room door hissed open. Sara 
held her giggles as the two men walked past her and towards the stage. 

"I think that's one of them right now. Hey you, where to?" Cy called out 
giving Sara her queue. 

Sara walked out on the stage still holding up the length of her orange 
trimmed robes. "I've got to run back home. My bolts of woolen cloth, the 
finest kind, are very much in need of moth-balls."

"Moth-balls?" Cy huffed. "Get back in there!"
"I swear I'll come right back. Just let me spread my wool out on the bed." 
Sara pleaded. 
"You won't be spreading anything, nor be leaving." Cy ordered. 
Sara stomped her foot. "But then my wool will go to waste!"
Cyanah looked her right in the eye and said. "So be it."

There was break in the dialog and Sara’s heart skipped a beat as everyone 
waited for Anthony to come on. She then breathed a sigh of relief  as she 
watched Anthony, dressed in a blond wig, high heeled shoes and a woman’s toga 
trimmed in green that matched the eye shadow he wore, walk onto the stage to 
the sound of thunderess applause and cat whistles. 

"Oh stupid me, forgetting to tenderize the meat. I've got to go and beat it." 
Anthony proclaimed in his best female voice. 

"Here's another who forgot to beat her meat. Get back inside!" Cyanah said 
now showing that she was getting a bit upset. 
Anthony nearly stumbled as he tried to walk closer to Zoya from the shoes. "I 
swear I'll be right back. Just let me roll it in my hands a bit." 

"No!" Cy hissed. "Keep your hands to yourself. If you do this, then all the 
wives will want to do the same."

There was even longer pause in the flow as Sara looked off into the wings. 
Josh stood on the side of the stage shaking his head in protest. He was also 
dressed as a woman, red wig, high heels, dress, make-up, but there was 
something a bit different about his character. Sara flashed him a look of 
warning and Josh gave in. 

"O Goddess of Labor, hold my pains a while, till I can get to a proper 
birthing place!" He moaned as he walked onto the stage with a large tummy. 

"What's all this yelling?" Cyanah demanded. 

Josh doing his best lamas impression said. "I'm having a baby now!" 

Cy rolled her eyes. "But yesterday you were skinny."

Josh, still breathing heavily said. " Not today. I've got to see the doctor, 
dear Lysistrata,
please send me home."

"Let's have a look at you. What's this? It sounds like metal." She said as 
she felt Josh’s protruding tummy. 

"It's a boy!" Josh shouted. 

The crowd exploded into laughter as Cyanah produced an old greek solder’s 

"Well, well ladies it would appear that our sister has given birth to a 
bouncing baby helmet!" Cy said very sarcastically. 

The rest of the play went off in much the same way and was a great hit with 
crew. Even getting a standing ovation. Sara was one of the last people still 
in 3 forward. She was standing at the bar talking to Kevin and watching 
people leave from the after show party. Kevin had just placed another drink 
in front of her when she caught sight of the Captain as she passed by . 

Smiling Captain Morrigan stopped looked at Sara and said. "Asper in a dress." 
She laughed and then said. "Well done Sara." 

Sara smiled and nodded totally in shock. 

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