Liz and Carrie have some very good words of encouragement. I also struggled
with feeling lonely. Something I would do was meeting moms in parks. I would
bring a stroller in case my kids got tired and rock them to sleep or meet
people for coffee, even if it was a short time because our kids where getting
wiggly. We tried for the most part to keep our kids to a schedule, but if we
got invited over someone house we would go. We found that people understand and
wpikd make it work for us, setting up a pack-in-play or laying the child on the
floor in a bedroom if they fall asleep.
Praying that you will find something that works for you.
Bonnie
On May 31, 2019, at 7:36 PM, Carrie Hub <carriehub060300@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Ditto to Liz's beautifully put words! She is speaking truth. Have hope, dear
friend!
I remember Liz telling me that she understood something that I shared with her
when she came to visit me in my first year of marriage. It felt so good to
hear. Marriage is wonderful, but it can be lonely. The same with parenting.
Both stretch us to our limits "like butter stretched over too much bread."
God has been teaching me through the years to hold loosely to people, to love
them, to serve them and enjoy them as I can, but also to let Him move them away
if He wishes and to focus on those right in front of me. It is hard and it
hurts, but I trust that I am where I am supposed to be and so are they (whether
that is a place or a season of life). I have to trust that He will provide all
they need and all I need. Again this is hard as I miss them. It has made me
start looking forward to heaven more and more. I am tired of saying goodbye.
By the way, weaning hormones stink. I was so thankful that a friend warned me
that she struggled with feeling very depressed after each of her kids were
weaned. It stunk! I recommend lots of Kayla snuggles!
You are loved. You are heard. You are not alone in your struggle or feelings.
Hugs from far away. And prayers for comfort and clarity and peace.
On Fri, May 31, 2019, 1:54 PM Elizabeth Lovelace <dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
wrote:
Hi, Renee,
I want to start by acknowledging your loss and grief. I see how strongly you
yearn for and miss these relationships. Hormones or not, your feelings are
valid. Wish I could come hug you.
Yes, you're in a new stage of life, and it has changed more aspects than you
expected. I think you're doing great recognizing what you're capable of and
what you're not. That's such a huge step. Being ok with it, is different,
though.
Sounds like you guys have been stuck in "limbo", house-wise, and that has to be
so frustrating. Hang in there.
And while it's not the same as face-to-face encounters, there is a lot you can
do with technology. If Kayla goes to bed early, maybe you can pick a few nights
a week to spend time on the phone with friends and family to catch up. Sending
a text or quick e-mail to check in with people is valid, too. I was so
encouraged when you wrote me out of the blue one day to tell me you were
thinking and praying for me.
And people get it. You have a baby. Of course your life is different and your
time is limited. All those that love you will still love and appreciate you
even if they don't see you as often.
Yes, sleep is important! Does Kayla fall asleep in a stroller? My kids have
napped and fallen asleep in so many strollers and car seats! :) Still, do what
you feel is best for your child and your family.
Love you!!!
PS: the fact that you care so much makes you a great friend, by the way.
On Fri, May 31, 2019 at 9:35 AM, Renee O'Leske
<larsen.renee@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Girlfriend chat here. I am very hormonal. Finally weaned Kayla completely.
Etc...
And feel in need of some sister's encouragement. I am not even dressed yet,
since 6am I have fed and played with Kayla, put her down for a nap, replied to
a few text messages, took out the trash, made a healthy snack for the family
and composed this email. Still not dressed yet... and I am sure Kayla will be
up soon.
But anyway, I am just wondering if anyone can relate to this. It is long.
Please don't feel obligated to read or respond. I know you have many
priorities!! But if you feel led... here are my thoughts this morning:
So... Craig and I have a sense of loyalty to many friends and family
members... yet, since we have been married and now have a young child, we are
"losing" our friendships based on our own capacity. We literally cannot
maintain them. We had very full lives with work, church families, family,
friends... but they did not intersect at all (none of my friends even
intersect much, they are all separate "families" to me). So to maintain this
in marriage and with a family is impossible.
(We're struggling to find time to connect with a local church - we're pursuing
serving on Sunday mornings b/c it is the only time we can commit to... Let
alone try to get together with friends or even my own family visiting from out
of town! b/c Kayla goes to bed at 7:30pm... Are we being too strict? I only
read about how important sleep is for children!!)
I find myself being stretched in ways I would never expect. "leaving father
and mother" (which as an older single person seems to also include, your
sisters, brother, and all your friends) - I didn't expect this meant losing
them...
But I think of Christ... Christ lost the Father, and the Father turned His back
on His Son, so that we could be Christ's Bride. What a cost!!!!
I wasn't able to see any of you when you were here in WI. Joanna is here from
NZ and I am not sure I will be able to see her. I am seeing Naomi and her
family twice.. hopefully 3 times in the 3 weeks she has been here from TX!
(And these times are like a few hours in one day... that's it.) I am so used
to spending as much time as possible with my peeps!
(To make things more challenging, we don't have much energy or space to have
many people over - especially if they have a lot of little kids. We have no
yard or basement or separate room for them to play... Kayla barely has a room
to sleep b/c so much of our stuff is packed in hopes that we will find a house
someday. plus we live a good bit north of the city, so it's not really close
to anyone...)
I feel like I need to say, "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be
the name of the LORD." But... I never expected I would lose all my
relationships He's given me. Isn't that not being a good steward of them?
Isn't that mean to these precious people? Won't that mean that I will be
isolated? I just struggle with this... yet, I honestly don't have the
capacity. I feel like we moved far away but we didn't...
And my sweet little girl is now awake. :)
