[thebigjewel] Shakira, Your Hips Are Full Of Crap - January 23, 2008
- From: "The Big Jewel" <list@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <thebigjewel@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Wed, 23 Jan 2008 11:00:45 -0700 (MST)
Welcome to The Big Jewel, where we are always more truthful than the hips
of certain Latin American pop starlets. Speaking of which, we don't mean
to be catty about Shakira...but Tyler Smith does:
Shakira, Your Hips Are Full Of Crap
By Tyler Smith
Dear Shakira,
I hate to be the one to tell you this, but it's true. I'll admit, I was
skeptical from the start when you claimed that your hips "don't lie." But,
I gave you the benefit of the doubt, because I didn't think you were like
all the rest of those stuck-up American starlets with their uppity
bodyguards and pepper spray. However, that was before today, when I
received this letter talking about "equitable remedy" and "ex parte,"
which, from what I understand, means I have to stop sending you those
scrumptious oatmeal raisin cookies along with the vials of my valuable
bone marrow your hips were so intent on having. Well, let me just tell you
that I feel like a real ass right now, as I'm sure that your hips have
been telling me outright lies for weeks, maybe even months...
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