LOL -----Original Message----- >From: Neil <nbmdude@xxxxxxxxx> >Sent: Oct 3, 2008 11:51 PM >To: tcb@xxxxxxxxxxxxx >Subject: [tcb] 's 58 thru 69 > > > > >> >> AND THEN THE FIGHT STARTED > >> My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping >> channels. She > asked, what's on TV? >> I said, Dust. >> And then the fight started >> ======================================================================= >> >> My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming >> anniversary. She > said, I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in >> about 3 seconds. >> I bought her a scale. >> >> And then the fight started >> >> ===================================================================== >> When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take >> her someplace > expensive... so, I took her to a gas station... >> >> And then the fight started.... >> ===================================================================== >> >> After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to >> apply for Social > Security. The woman behind the counter ask ed me for my >> driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had >> left my wallet at home. >> I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come >> back later. >> The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing >> my curly silver hair. >> She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and >> she processed my Social Security application. >> >> When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social >> > Security office. >> >> She said, 'you should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten >> disability, too.' >> >> And then the fight started... >> >> =============================================================== >> >> My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school >> reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat >> alone at a nearby table. >> >> My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' >> >> 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to >> drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she >> hasn't been sober since.' >> >> 'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a >> person could go on celebrating that long?' >> >> And then the fight started... >> >> ============================================================ >> >> I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were >> alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know >> how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? >> >> Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!! >> >> He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, >> 'I AM NOT HAPPY!' >> >> So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?' >> >> And then the fight started... >> >> >> > > > >