-----Original Message-----
From: Brian Denning
Sent: Oct 31, 2008 2:45 PM
To: tcb@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [tcb] Re: oil change

Man, i have to jack up my bus, put down a jack stand, reposition jack, jack up some more. then start the oil change or valve adjustment. and i'm going lower this winter :D

> From: cwnation@xxxxxxxxx
> To: tcb@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
> Subject: [tcb] Re: oil change
> Date: Fri, 31 Oct 2008 13:30:17 -0500
>
> The great thing with busses, they don't need to me jacked up for
> oilchange. I do do the thing with the screw driver. I get filter
> wrench to stick right. I would never take my bus to jiffy.
>
> Sent from my iPhone
>
> On Oct 31, 2008, at 9:59 AM, mechmark@xxxxxxxxxxx wrote:
>
>>
>>
>> THE GREAT OIL CHANGE INSTRUCTIONS
>>
>> FOR WOMEN
>> 1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since
>> the last
>> oil change.
>> 2) Drink a cup of coffee.
>> 3) 15 minutes later write a check and leave with a properly maintained
>> vehicle.
>>
>> MONEY SPENT
>> Oil Change $20.00
>> Coffee $1.00
>> TOTAL $21.00
>>
>> FOR MEN
>> 1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of
>> oil,
>> filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check
>> for
>> $50.00
>> 2) Buy case of beer, write a check for $20.00, drive home.
>> 3) Open a beer and drink it.
>> 4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
>> 5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
>> 6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
>> 7) Place drain pan under engine.
>> 8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
>> 9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
>> 1 0) Uns crew drain plug.
>> 11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in the
>> process.
>> 12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms.
>> Throw
>> kitty litter on spilled oil.
>> 13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
>> 14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
>> 15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil
>> filter
>> and
>> twist off.
>> 16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil
>> everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in
>> trash
>> can
>> to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
>> 17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil
>> change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door opener.
>> 18) Sunday: Skip church because "I gotta finish the oil change."
>> Drag pan
>> full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in
>> backyard instead of taking it to be recycle!
>> 19) Throw kitty litte r on oil spilled during step 18.
>> 20) Beer? No, drank it all yesterday.
>> 21) Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
>> 22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to
>> gasket
>> surface.
>> 23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
>> 24) Remember drain plug from step 11.
>> 25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
>> 26) Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard
>> along
>> with drain plug.
>> 27) Drink beer.
>> 28) Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily
>> dirt
>> into hole. Steal sand from kids sandbox to cleverly cover oily patch
>> of
>> ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in
>> lawnmower gas.
>> 29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor.
>> Throw kitty
>> litter on oil spill.
>> 30) Drink beer.
>> 31) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with
>> oily rag
>> used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench
>> tightening drain
>> plu g and bang knuckles on frame.
>> 32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.
>> 33) Begin cussing fit.
>> 34) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
>> 35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes
>> 36) Beer.
>> 37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop
>> blood flow.
>> 38) Beer.
>> 39) Beer.
>> 40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
>> 41) Beer.
>> 42) Lower car from jack stands.
>> 43) Accidentally crush remaining case of new motor oil.
>> 44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled
>> during
>> steps 23 - 43.
>> 45) Beer
>> 46) Test drive car.
>> 47) Get pulled over & arrested for driving under the influence.
>> 48) Car gets impounded.
>> 49) Call loving wife, make bail.
>> 50) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.
>>
>> MONEY SPENT
>> Parts $50.00
>> DUI $2500.00
>> Impound fee $75.00
>> Bail $1500.00
>> Beer $40.00
>>
>> TOTAL -- $4165.00
>> BUT YOU KNOW THE JOB WAS DONE RIGHT!!!
>>
>

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