Man, i have to jack up my bus, put down a jack stand, reposition jack, jack up some more. then start the oil change or valve adjustment. and i'm going lower this winter :D> From: cwnation@xxxxxxxxx> To: tcb@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> Subject: [tcb] Re: oil change> Date: Fri, 31 Oct 2008 13:30:17 -0500> > The great thing with busses, they don't need to me jacked up for > oilchange. I do do the thing with the screw driver. I get filter > wrench to stick right. I would never take my bus to jiffy.> > Sent from my iPhone> > On Oct 31, 2008, at 9:59 AM, mechmark@xxxxxxxxxxx wrote:> >>>>>> THE GREAT OIL CHANGE INSTRUCTIONS>>>> FOR WOMEN>> 1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since >> the last>> oil change.>> 2) Drink a cup of coffee.>> 3) 15 minutes later write a check and leave with a properly maintained>> vehicle.>>>> MONEY SPENT>> Oil Change $20.00>> Coffee $1.00>> TOTAL $21.00>>>> FOR MEN>> 1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of >> oil,>> filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check >> for>> $50.00>> 2) Buy case of beer, write a check for $20.00, drive home.>> 3) Open a beer and drink it.>> 4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.>> 5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.>> 6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.>> 7) Place drain pan under engine.>> 8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.>> 9) Give up and use crescent wrench.>> 1 0) Uns crew drain plug.>> 11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in the>> process.>> 12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. >> Throw>> kitty litter on spilled oil.>> 13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.>> 14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.>> 15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil >> filter>> and>> twist off.>> 16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil>> everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in >> trash>> can>> to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.>> 17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil>> change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door opener.>> 18) Sunday: Skip church because "I gotta finish the oil change." >> Drag pan>> full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in>> backyard instead of taking it to be recycle!>> 19) Throw kitty litte r on oil spilled during step 18.>> 20) Beer? No, drank it all yesterday.>> 21) Walk to 7-11; buy beer.>> 22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to>> gasket>> surface.>> 23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.>> 24) Remember drain plug from step 11.>> 25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.>> 26) Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard >> along>> with drain plug.>> 27) Drink beer.>> 28) Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily >> dirt>> into hole. Steal sand from kids sandbox to cleverly cover oily patch >> of>> ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in >> lawnmower gas.>> 29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. >> Throw kitty>> litter on oil spill.>> 30) Drink beer.>> 31) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with >> oily rag>> used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench >> tightening drain>> plu g and bang knuckles on frame.>> 32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.>> 33) Begin cussing fit.>> 34) Throw stupid crescent wrench.>> 35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes>> 36) Beer.>> 37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop >> blood flow.>> 38) Beer.>> 39) Beer.>> 40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.>> 41) Beer.>> 42) Lower car from jack stands.>> 43) Accidentally crush remaining case of new motor oil.>> 44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled >> during>> steps 23 - 43.>> 45) Beer>> 46) Test drive car.>> 47) Get pulled over & arrested for driving under the influence.>> 48) Car gets impounded.>> 49) Call loving wife, make bail.>> 50) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.>>>> MONEY SPENT>> Parts $50.00>> DUI $2500.00>> Impound fee $75.00>> Bail $1500.00>> Beer $40.00>>>> TOTAL -- $4165.00>> BUT YOU KNOW THE JOB WAS DONE RIGHT!!!>>> _________________________________________________________________ See how Windows connects the people, information, and fun that are part of your life. http://clk.atdmt.com/MRT/go/msnnkwxp1020093175mrt/direct/01/