[SKRIVA] Darwin-priserna

From: Ahrvid Engholm <ahrvid@xxxxxxxxxxx>
To: <skriva@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>, <sverifandom@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Sat, 9 Jan 2010 16:38:42 +0100
Darwin-priserna 2009 har just delats ut. Det handlar om priser till dem som 
genom egna dödsföraktande handlingar ser till att hedra genpolen med sin 
frånvaro. Info på:
 
www.darwinawards.com
 
Några utdrag - och historierna är egentligen ganska tragiska, faktiskt:
 
  Nominerad: "For the first time ever, a woman--yes, a member of the safer 
sex--made it into the year's Top Darwin Awards! 2009 Antepenultimate Winner is 
the North Carolina woman who jumped into a swollen creek to rescue her 
drowning...moped."
 
  Nominerad: "Traffic was moving slowly on southbound I-95. Shawn M. had 
recently left a Pompano Beach bar, and now he was stuck in traffic. As the 
saying goes, you don't buy beer--you just rent it, and Shawn couldn't wait 
another moment to relieve himself. "I need to take a leak," he told his 
friends. 
Traffic was deadlocked, so the waterlogged man climbed out, put his hand on the 
divider, and jumped over the low concrete wall... only to fall 65 feet to his 
death. "He probably thought there was a road, but there wasn't," said a Fort 
Lauderdale police spokesman. The car was idling on an overpass above the 
railroad lines."
 
  Vinnaren 2009: "Two bankrobbers attempting to make a sizeable withdrawal from 
an ATM died when they overestimated the quantity of dynamite needed for the 
explosion. The blast demolished the building the bank was housed in. Nobody 
else was in the building at the time of the attack. 
Robber One was rushed to the hospital with severe head trauma; he died shortly 
after arrival. Investigators initially assumed that his accomplice had managed 
a getway, but the second bungler's body was excavated from the debris twelve 
hours later."
 
  Vinnaren 2008:"A Catholic priest recently ascended to heaven on a helium host 
of party balloons, paying homage to Lawn Chair Larry's aerial adventure. In 
1982, Lawnchair Larry attached 45 weather balloons to his lawnchair, packed a 
picnic lunch, and cut the tether--but instead of drifting above Los Angeles 
babescape as planned, he was rocketed into LAX air traffic lanes by the lift of 
the balloons! 
Astoundingly, Larry survived the flight, inspiring the movies Up! and Deckchair 
Danny, and Adelir Antonio, 51. 
This priest's audacious attempt to set a world record for clustered balloon 
flight was intended to publicize his plan to build spiritual rest stops for 
truckers. But as truckers know, sitting for 19 hours is not a trivial matter 
even in the comfort of your own lawn chair. 
The priest did take numerous precautions, including wearing a survival suit, 
flying a buoyant chair, and packing a satellite phone and GPS. However, the 
late A.A. made a fatal mistake. 
He did not know how to use the GPS. 
The winds changed, as winds do, and he was blown inexorably toward open sea. He 
could have parachuted to safety while over land but chose not to. When the 
voyager was perilously lost at sea, he finally phoned for help--but rescuers 
were unable to determine his location since he could not use his GPS. He 
struggled with the unit as the charge on the cellphone dwindled and died. 
Instead of a GPS, the Priest let God be his guide. 
Over the next few weeks, bits of balloons began appearing on mountains and 
beaches, indicating that God had guided him straight to heaven. Ultimately the 
priest's body surfaced, confirming that he had indeed paid a visit to his boss."
 
--Ahrvid

--
ahrvid@xxxxxxxxxxx / Gå med i SKRIVA - för författande, sf, fantasy, kultur 
(skriva-request@xxxxxxxxxxxxx, subj: subscribe) YXSKAFTBUD, GE VÅR WCZONMÖ 
IQ-HJÄLP! (DN NoN 00.02.07)                                        
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[SKRIVA] Darwin-priserna

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