[projectaon] Re: Tabletop Heroes
- From: "OToole L" <L.OToole@xxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sat, 2 Feb 2008 06:43:24 -0000
Simon wrote:
> Phew! 16 pages down, only 44 more to go. Ahem. :-/
Not when I'm also going through the document and have new errata for those
"completed" 16 pages.
A few things before I get to the nitty-gritty:
1) I've only made it through the first third of the document (up to page 20) so
far. Given this rate I may not finish this weekend as I'd hoped. But for a few
reasons I wanted to send what I had now. (Partly so Simon could get started and
partly because I want to find out whether I'm raising false positives with some
things.)
2) LeRoy wrote:
> throughout the columns, mr. dever used company names as plural nouns.
Should there be an entry in the PAMOS formalising that all company names should
be treated as singular?
3) Company names also caused me some trouble for another reason. It seems that
the general practice is to put the name in italics. However, if the entire
sentence/paragraph is in italics, then this emphasis is achieved by removing
this formatting from the company name. This is the rule I have followed.
4) Both LeRoy and Tim caught several things that I missed. I have tried to
avoid duplicating anything they said, unless it was unavoidable. I agree with
any suggestions that are not included here.
<standard disclaimer>
Page 4, column 1:
(LeRoy)
> 'wargames' orientated => 'wargames oriented
I disagree. The word is in single quotes.
(LeRoy)
> company Many => company. Many
Assume you mean -> company. Many
(LeRoy)
> mace; a => mace, a
I don't see what's wrong with the original.
Citadel's -> remove italics on the 's'.
Citadel -> italics
Chaos Warriors -> italics (maybe?)
Evil Clerics -> italics (maybe)
the Citadel Compendium -> remove 'the', not a unique publication, neither part
of the name (maybe?)
Citadel High Chivalry -> italics (maybe?)
Page 4, column 2:
A fuller description of this technique together with a very useful 'Tone Chart'
can -> A fuller description of this technique, together with a very useful
'Tone Chart', can (maybe?)
Page 7, column 1:
Tabletop Heroes is -> italics on 'is'
fantasy literature and -> fantasy literature, and
skill, wits and practical knowledge -> skill, wits, and practical knowledge
Page 7, caption 1:
Remove italics from 'Irregular Miniatures'.
Page 7, column 2:
engines, towers and accessories -> engines, towers, and accessories
Page 7, caption 2:
Remove italics from 'Ahketon Fortifications'
Page 7, caption 3:
Remove italics from 'Citadel'
Page 9, column 1:
Since Tabletop Heroes began -> remove italics from 'Tabletop Heroes'
Also from Essex are their new range -> Also from Essex is their new range
photograph no 2 -> Fig 2 (maybe?)
Citadel's -> remove italics from 's'
Page 9, column 2:
Citadel's -> remove italics from 's'
Full details including stats for Dark Elves can -> Full details, including
stats for Dark Elves, can
Page 9, column 3:
'What ogre isn't!' -> 'What ogre isn't?'
cottage like the one shown, in -> cottage like the one shown in (or -> cottage,
like the one shown, in)
(Simon)
> thieves guild to -> Thieves' Guild to
I disagree. -> thieves' guild (A guild does not get capital letters just for
being a gulid.)
Page 9, lower caption:
Thieves -> thieves
Citadel Guild -> citadel guild (maybe?)
Page 11, column 1:
c /o -> c/o
What is '(P13/1d)'? Some kind of miniature range label?
Citadel's latest -> Italics on Citadel
Citadel's large -> remove italics from 's'
(LeRoy)
> Night Goblin range; a => Night Goblin range, a
I don't see what's wrong here.
Kings Court -> King's Court
Citadel's Diorama -> remove italics from 's'
Citadel casting -> italics on Citadel
Page 11, column 2:
Citadel's Diorama -> italics on Citadel
(LeRoy)
> altar and victim; all => altar and victim -- all
I don't see what's wrong here.
(Tim)
> customer's requirements -> customers' requirements
Disagree. The word 'customer' is singular, as it specifically says "individual
customer's requirements".
Page 11, column 3:
(LeRoy)
> High Elf; the flag => High Elf, the flag
I don't see what's wrong here.
Page 11, Flags and Banners:
banners, pennons or -> banners, pennons, or
(LeRoy)
> Small details, lettering and => Small details, lettering, and
I could just about see this scanning without the serial comma, in that
lettering and outlining are both small details compared to the overall size of
the flag, but concede that this may not be the original intent.
Page 12, column 1:
a SF -> an SF (or -> a Sci-Fi) (maybe?)
(LeRoy)
> 'tech no-junk' =>??? 'techno-junk'
I don't get this either.
Tabletop Games of Nottingham -> Italics on 'Games'
Is 'TTG' an acceptable acronym for 'Tabletop Games'?
Page 12, image caption:
Remove italics from 'Laserburn'
Page 12, column 2:
TTG produce -> TTG produces (maybe?) (Tabletop Games is a single company.)
two of which are seen in action in Fig 3 -> three of which are seen in action
in Fig 3
(Simon)
> a perspex about -> a perspex base about
-> a perspex rod about (The following sentence explicitly refers to a 'rod'.)
(Tim)
> Citadel Imperial Marine -> [tp: Elsewhere, only the company name is bolded,
> not the miniature's name]
Page 4 - Chaos Warrior. Page 6 - Orc War Engine, Dwarf Bolt Thrower. Page 9 -
Chaos Hydra. All italics.
Page 12, column 3:
Toughened armour plate -> Toughened plate armour (maybe?) (This sounds strange
to me as written.)
a specially powerful -> an especially powerful (maybe?)
(Those last two may be discounted if it is decided that a direct quote
supercedes grammar.)
weaponpacks -> weapon packs
to the breach section -> remove superfluous space before 'to'
(Tim)
> sun-guns -> stun-guns [tp: At a guess...]
I thought a 'sun-gun' was just some fancy futuristic weapon! :-)
(Tim)
> light sabres -> lightsabres
I hate to point it out, but if we're going to use a term from Star Wars, it
might have to be -> lightsabers (As per starwars.com)
Page 12, image caption:
15mrn -> 15mm
remove italics from 'Traveller' (See 'Citadel' in same sentence.)
Page 13:
(Tim)
> You would -> you would [tp: Better would be to put the page break before the
> 'If', in my opinion]
Disagree. I prefer knowing that the article extends to another page by having
the break mid-sentence.
Page 14, column 1:
more of an important factor -> a more important factor (maybe?) ('more of'
sounds strange to me)
(Tim)
> Fig 1: Shows -> Fig 1 shows [tp: Maybe?]
I see where you're going, but this would make it the only 'Fig N' that is not
followed by a semi-colon.
(-> Fig 1: This shows) (Maybe?) (or remove 'shows' entirely) (Maybe?)
one of Citadel's latest -> italics on 'Citadel'
sets from Citadel. Designed -> italics on 'Citadel'
Citadel's usual policy -> italics on 'Citadel'
assortment of differing head -> assortment of differing heads
Page 14, column 2:
What is a 'Landragon'?
UHU -> italics (maybe)
Evo-stik -> italics on 'stik'
role-playing, then metal washers -> role-playing, metal washers (The 'then'
doesn't seem to work without an 'if' at the beginning.)
Page 16, column 1:
(LeRoy)
> is colour; which colours => is colour -- which colours
I don't see what's wrong here.
Page 16, column 2:
Citadel's new Forest -> Remove italics from 's'.
Page 16, caption:
Dragonmeet -> remove italics (maybe?)
Thrud -> remove italics (maybe?)
Personalities Set -> remove italics, if 'Personalities Set' is the name
(or remove italics from 'Personalities' and Set -> set, if 'Personalities' is
the name)
('Goodly Knights of Law' gets this treatment in column 3.)
Page 16, column 3:
joints, hands and feet -> joints, hands, and feet
The fine detail and motto was -> The fine detail and motto were
one of Citadel's CO1 -> remove italics from 's'
Chaos fighter -> Chaos Fighter (cf. 'Chaos Fighter' under Fig 2)
Page 19, column 1:
Tabletop Heroes -> remove italics
(LeRoy)
> quality brushes, therefore => quality brushes; therefore
I don't see what's wrong here.
(LeRoy)
> look after it; store => look after it: store
I don't see what's wrong here.
the thinners bottle -> the thinner's bottle (maybe?)
The chart below -> The chart across
paint and heir individual -> paint and their individual
individual characteristics: -> individual characteristics.
our literary creations making -> our literary creations, making
A similar range of 25mm buildings and accessories are -> A similar range of
25mm buildings and accessories is
but ones cast in resin -> but with ones cast in resin
Citadel's lizardmen -> remove italics from 's'
Page 19, column 3:
With the popularity of ... wargaming a -> With the popularity of ... wargaming,
a
2ft sq -> 2ft. sq. (maybe)
Games Innovation -> italics on 'Games'
Gallia Reproductions -> italics on 'Gallia'
Page 19, paints guide:
WATER-BASED PAINT -> WATER-BASED PAINTS (see 'CELLULOSE-BASED PAINTS' below - I
know I'm going with the minority here, but
there are several 'paints'.)
Poster Colour: paste, powder or block -> paste, powder, or block
Ink: Solvent Water -> Solvent: Water
Acrylic: jars and tubes . -> jars and tubes.
Acrylic: Thinner Water -> Thinner: Water
OIL-BASED PAINT -> OIL-BASED PAINTS (as previously)
Alkyd: Retains some of the better qualities of oil paints. -> This sentence
seems to be aligned to high. It is much closer to the dividing line above it
than any of the other text.
Cellulose: large metal/wood metals -> ??? large metal/wood-metals (maybe?) (I
don't know what he's trying to say here.)
(LeRoy)
> blend well therefore => blend well. Therefore
Assume you mean -> blend well. Therefore
Page 20, column 1:
(LeRoy)
> in this fashion, and => in this fashion -- and
The original reads fine to me.
(LeRoy)
> the figure, otherwise => the figure; otherwise
I don't see what's wrong here.
(LeRoy)
> parts thinner; about the => parts thinner: about the
I don't see what's wrong here.
Page 20, column 2:
clothing (especially cloaks), shields and scaly -> clothing (especially
cloaks), shields, and scaly
texture, e.g. quilting and armour (especially chainmail, are -> texture (e.g.
quilting and armour (especially chainmail)),
(I know this looks *horrible*, but I don't like that 'e.g.' mid-sentence.)
(Even if this is rejected, the missing closing bracket still needs fixing.)
(LeRoy)
> (rubbing when handled) => ??? (they rub off when handled)
I think the original could just about stand unaltered. Failing this, ->
(rubbing off when handled) (maybe?)
Page 20, column 3:
The next stage would be to add extra shading where necessary, in this case deep
purple (a mixture of purple and black). -> The next stage would be to add extra
shading, in this case deep purple (a mixture of purple and black), where
necessary.
Player's Guild of Nottingham -> Players' Guild of Nottingham
their primitive-tech' creations -> their primitive-tech creations (maybe?)
hang-glider -> hang glider
hot-air balloon -> hot air balloon
Citadel's new War Wyvern -> remove italics from 's'
a magnificent Great Spined Dragon ... released by Citadel for £15 -> a
magnificent Great Spined Dragon ... sold by Citadel for £15
(maybe?) (I don't like 'sold' but I doubt a company could *release* anything
for £15.)
Player's Guild of Nottingham -> Players' Guild of Nottingham
Cerulean
Simon wrote:
> Phew! 16 pages down, only 44 more to go. Ahem. :-/
Not when I'm also going through the document and have new errata for those
"completed" 16 pages.
A few things before I get to the nitty-gritty:
1) I've only made it through the first third of the document (up to page 20) so
far. Given this rate I may not finish this weekend as I'd hoped. But for a few
reasons I wanted to send what I had now. (Partly so Simon could get started and
partly because I want to find out whether I'm raising false positives with some
things.)
2) LeRoy wrote:
> throughout the columns, mr. dever used company names as plural nouns.
Should there be an entry in the PAMOS formalising that all company names should
be treated as singular?
3) Company names also caused me some trouble for another reason. It seems that
the general practice is to put the name in italics. However, if the entire
sentence/paragraph is in italics, then this emphasis is achieved by removing
this formatting from the company name. This is the rule I have followed.
4) Both LeRoy and Tim caught several things that I missed. I have tried to
avoid duplicating anything they said, unless it was unavoidable. I agree with
any suggestions that are not included here.
<standard disclaimer>
Page 4, column 1:
(LeRoy)
> 'wargames' orientated => 'wargames oriented
I disagree. The word is in single quotes.
(LeRoy)
> company Many => company. Many
Assume you mean -> company. Many
(LeRoy)
> mace; a => mace, a
I don't see what's wrong with the original.
Citadel's -> remove italics on the 's'.
Citadel -> italics
Chaos Warriors -> italics (maybe?)
Evil Clerics -> italics (maybe)
the Citadel Compendium -> remove 'the', not a unique publication, neither part
of the name (maybe?)
Citadel High Chivalry -> italics (maybe?)
Page 4, column 2:
A fuller description of this technique together with a very useful 'Tone Chart'
can -> A fuller description of this technique, together with a very useful
'Tone Chart', can (maybe?)
Page 7, column 1:
Tabletop Heroes is -> italics on 'is'
fantasy literature and -> fantasy literature, and
skill, wits and practical knowledge -> skill, wits, and practical knowledge
Page 7, caption 1:
Remove italics from 'Irregular Miniatures'.
Page 7, column 2:
engines, towers and accessories -> engines, towers, and accessories
Page 7, caption 2:
Remove italics from 'Ahketon Fortifications'
Page 7, caption 3:
Remove italics from 'Citadel'
Page 9, column 1:
Since Tabletop Heroes began -> remove italics from 'Tabletop Heroes'
Also from Essex are their new range -> Also from Essex is their new range
photograph no 2 -> Fig 2 (maybe?)
Citadel's -> remove italics from 's'
Page 9, column 2:
Citadel's -> remove italics from 's'
Full details including stats for Dark Elves can -> Full details, including
stats for Dark Elves, can
Page 9, column 3:
'What ogre isn't!' -> 'What ogre isn't?'
cottage like the one shown, in -> cottage like the one shown in (or -> cottage,
like the one shown, in)
(Simon)
> thieves guild to -> Thieves' Guild to
I disagree. -> thieves' guild (A guild does not get capital letters just for
being a gulid.)
Page 9, lower caption:
Thieves -> thieves
Citadel Guild -> citadel guild (maybe?)
Page 11, column 1:
c /o -> c/o
What is '(P13/1d)'? Some kind of miniature range label?
Citadel's latest -> Italics on Citadel
Citadel's large -> remove italics from 's'
(LeRoy)
> Night Goblin range; a => Night Goblin range, a
I don't see what's wrong here.
Kings Court -> King's Court
Citadel's Diorama -> remove italics from 's'
Citadel casting -> italics on Citadel
Page 11, column 2:
Citadel's Diorama -> italics on Citadel
(LeRoy)
> altar and victim; all => altar and victim -- all
I don't see what's wrong here.
(Tim)
> customer's requirements -> customers' requirements
Disagree. The word 'customer' is singular, as it specifically says "individual
customer's requirements".
Page 11, column 3:
(LeRoy)
> High Elf; the flag => High Elf, the flag
I don't see what's wrong here.
Page 11, Flags and Banners:
banners, pennons or -> banners, pennons, or
(LeRoy)
> Small details, lettering and => Small details, lettering, and
I could just about see this scanning without the serial comma, in that
lettering and outlining are both small details compared to the overall size of
the flag, but concede that this may not be the original intent.
Page 12, column 1:
a SF -> an SF (or -> a Sci-Fi) (maybe?)
(LeRoy)
> 'tech no-junk' =>??? 'techno-junk'
I don't get this either.
Tabletop Games of Nottingham -> Italics on 'Games'
Is 'TTG' an acceptable acronym for 'Tabletop Games'?
Page 12, image caption:
Remove italics from 'Laserburn'
Page 12, column 2:
TTG produce -> TTG produces (maybe?) (Tabletop Games is a single company.)
two of which are seen in action in Fig 3 -> three of which are seen in action
in Fig 3
(Simon)
> a perspex about -> a perspex base about
-> a perspex rod about (The following sentence explicitly refers to a 'rod'.)
(Tim)
> Citadel Imperial Marine -> [tp: Elsewhere, only the company name is bolded,
> not the miniature's name]
Page 4 - Chaos Warrior. Page 6 - Orc War Engine, Dwarf Bolt Thrower. Page 9 -
Chaos Hydra. All italics.
Page 12, column 3:
Toughened armour plate -> Toughened plate armour (maybe?) (This sounds strange
to me as written.)
a specially powerful -> an especially powerful (maybe?)
(Those last two may be discounted if it is decided that a direct quote
supercedes grammar.)
weaponpacks -> weapon packs
to the breach section -> remove superfluous space before 'to'
(Tim)
> sun-guns -> stun-guns [tp: At a guess...]
I thought a 'sun-gun' was just some fancy futuristic weapon! :-)
(Tim)
> light sabres -> lightsabres
I hate to point it out, but if we're going to use a term from Star Wars, it
might have to be -> lightsabers (As per starwars.com)
Page 12, image caption:
15mrn -> 15mm
remove italics from 'Traveller' (See 'Citadel' in same sentence.)
Page 13:
(Tim)
> You would -> you would [tp: Better would be to put the page break before the
> 'If', in my opinion]
Disagree. I prefer knowing that the article extends to another page by having
the break mid-sentence.
Page 14, column 1:
more of an important factor -> a more important factor (maybe?) ('more of'
sounds strange to me)
(Tim)
> Fig 1: Shows -> Fig 1 shows [tp: Maybe?]
I see where you're going, but this would make it the only 'Fig N' that is not
followed by a semi-colon.
(-> Fig 1: This shows) (Maybe?) (or remove 'shows' entirely) (Maybe?)
one of Citadel's latest -> italics on 'Citadel'
sets from Citadel. Designed -> italics on 'Citadel'
Citadel's usual policy -> italics on 'Citadel'
assortment of differing head -> assortment of differing heads
Page 14, column 2:
What is a 'Landragon'?
UHU -> italics (maybe)
Evo-stik -> italics on 'stik'
role-playing, then metal washers -> role-playing, metal washers (The 'then'
doesn't seem to work without an 'if' at the beginning.)
Page 16, column 1:
(LeRoy)
> is colour; which colours => is colour -- which colours
I don't see what's wrong here.
Page 16, column 2:
Citadel's new Forest -> Remove italics from 's'.
Page 16, caption:
Dragonmeet -> remove italics (maybe?)
Thrud -> remove italics (maybe?)
Personalities Set -> remove italics, if 'Personalities Set' is the name
(or remove italics from 'Personalities' and Set -> set, if 'Personalities' is
the name)
('Goodly Knights of Law' gets this treatment in column 3.)
Page 16, column 3:
joints, hands and feet -> joints, hands, and feet
The fine detail and motto was -> The fine detail and motto were
one of Citadel's CO1 -> remove italics from 's'
Chaos fighter -> Chaos Fighter (cf. 'Chaos Fighter' under Fig 2)
Page 19, column 1:
Tabletop Heroes -> remove italics
(LeRoy)
> quality brushes, therefore => quality brushes; therefore
I don't see what's wrong here.
(LeRoy)
> look after it; store => look after it: store
I don't see what's wrong here.
the thinners bottle -> the thinner's bottle (maybe?)
The chart below -> The chart across
paint and heir individual -> paint and their individual
individual characteristics: -> individual characteristics.
our literary creations making -> our literary creations, making
A similar range of 25mm buildings and accessories are -> A similar range of
25mm buildings and accessories is
but ones cast in resin -> but with ones cast in resin
Citadel's lizardmen -> remove italics from 's'
Page 19, column 3:
With the popularity of ... wargaming a -> With the popularity of ... wargaming,
a
2ft sq -> 2ft. sq. (maybe)
Games Innovation -> italics on 'Games'
Gallia Reproductions -> italics on 'Gallia'
Page 19, paints guide:
WATER-BASED PAINT -> WATER-BASED PAINTS (see 'CELLULOSE-BASED PAINTS' below - I
know I'm going with the minority here, but
there are several 'paints'.)
Poster Colour: paste, powder or block -> paste, powder, or block
Ink: Solvent Water -> Solvent: Water
Acrylic: jars and tubes . -> jars and tubes.
Acrylic: Thinner Water -> Thinner: Water
OIL-BASED PAINT -> OIL-BASED PAINTS (as previously)
Alkyd: Retains some of the better qualities of oil paints. -> This sentence
seems to be aligned to high. It is much closer to the dividing line above it
than any of the other text.
Cellulose: large metal/wood metals -> ??? large metal/wood-metals (maybe?) (I
don't know what he's trying to say here.)
(LeRoy)
> blend well therefore => blend well. Therefore
Assume you mean -> blend well. Therefore
Page 20, column 1:
(LeRoy)
> in this fashion, and => in this fashion -- and
The original reads fine to me.
(LeRoy)
> the figure, otherwise => the figure; otherwise
I don't see what's wrong here.
(LeRoy)
> parts thinner; about the => parts thinner: about the
I don't see what's wrong here.
Page 20, column 2:
clothing (especially cloaks), shields and scaly -> clothing (especially
cloaks), shields, and scaly
texture, e.g. quilting and armour (especially chainmail, are -> texture (e.g.
quilting and armour (especially chainmail)),
(I know this looks *horrible*, but I don't like that 'e.g.' mid-sentence.)
(Even if this is rejected, the missing closing bracket still needs fixing.)
(LeRoy)
> (rubbing when handled) => ??? (they rub off when handled)
I think the original could just about stand unaltered. Failing this, ->
(rubbing off when handled) (maybe?)
Page 20, column 3:
The next stage would be to add extra shading where necessary, in this case deep
purple (a mixture of purple and black). -> The next stage would be to add extra
shading, in this case deep purple (a mixture of purple and black), where
necessary.
Player's Guild of Nottingham -> Players' Guild of Nottingham
their primitive-tech' creations -> their primitive-tech creations (maybe?)
hang-glider -> hang glider
hot-air balloon -> hot air balloon
Citadel's new War Wyvern -> remove italics from 's'
a magnificent Great Spined Dragon ... released by Citadel for £15 -> a
magnificent Great Spined Dragon ... sold by Citadel for £15
(maybe?) (I don't like 'sold' but I doubt a company could *release* anything
for £15.)
Player's Guild of Nottingham -> Players' Guild of Nottingham
Cerulean
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