[nasional_list] [ppiindia] Do Saudi Men Need Defending?
- From: "Ambon" <sea@xxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <"Undisclosed-Recipient:;"@freelists.org>
- Date: Fri, 17 Feb 2006 00:00:15 +0100
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Thursday, 16, February, 2006 (17, Muharram, 1427)
Do Saudi Men Need Defending?
Abeer Mishkhas, abeermishkhas@xxxxxxxxxxxx
Interesting point! I said to myself as I read the article
("Do Saudi Men Need Defending?") in a Saudi daily. The writer, a Saudi woman,
said that Saudi women had achieved a lot over the past few years and that they
were getting a great deal of support for their demands, mostly from Saudi men.
The writer then took an interesting turn and asked who defended Saudi men
against their women? She gave examples of how men deal mainly with life's
burdens - mainly financial - and how some women abuse this and ask for more.
She said that some working women contend that their salaries are their own and
that they do not have to pay a share of household expenses, leaving them all to
their husband. Of course, their expenses invariably include a car, a driver and
someone to clean the house. The writer contended that if women really wanted
their rights, they would have to share responsibility equally with men. So far,
the argument makes sense and we agree that if women want
equal rights, they must also have equal responsibility. How, we can ask, did
we reach this point in the first place? Usually what we hear is that women ask
for their rights and the major source of complaints is men.
If we take a look at how this situation developed, maybe that
would help us understand this particular point of view. Saudi women of the
older generation - grandmothers and great-grandmothers - were almost
exclusively housewives. Their rights were to be married to a man who could
support them financially and socially; the woman's part of that bargain was
that she took care of the man's house and their children. As years went by and
the education of girls became a reality in Saudi Arabia, there was a need for
women to work outside their homes in the newly established women's schools. The
number of women involved in those days was small and many women were hired from
neighboring Arab countries. Over the years, as the number of women graduates
increases and jobs began to be filled by Saudi women, there was a wave of
employment for Saudi women. From schools to universities to hospitals to banks
to offices: Saudi women were working and they had their own income.
Now as the system changed, the marriage system was also
subject to some changes. Some women, willingly or not, gave their income to
their husbands or fathers. For those who were married, there have been many
cases of husbands and wives sharing household expenses and in most cases, the
woman ended up working outside the home and in the home as well. Men were happy
to accept their wives' contributions but their contribution remained working
and providing the family's principal income. As far as doing any household
chores, that remained the woman's responsibility.
Regardless of what my learned colleague says, very few Saudi
men are willing to do any housework. Why? Well, from birth the Saudi male is
treated as something special who does not do domestic work - no matter how rich
or poor the family is.
To return, however, to our major point: In some cases women
do take advantage of the situation and ask for a great deal. By doing so, they
are making use of social rules and conventions that have made them the weaker
partener in the relationship. What we need is a definition of exactly what men
and women want from each other.
We also need to abandon certain customs and practices that
may have worked for centuries but which, in the world as it is today and as it
is becoming, do not work any longer.
Men cannot have everything as it was but neither can women
have the privileges of tradition in addition to the privileges of independence.
To be fair in this discussion, we must acknowledge that many of women's ardent
supporters in their quest for equality and justice are men. So here we go again
- men and women need to work out a new definition of a working relationship.
That new definition must be based on understanding and
respect and maybe then we will be able to come up with a satisfactory new
system for a modern Saudi society.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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