Jeanne, if you want to DM me on Reddit let me know and I'll share my username.
~Cooee
On Tuesday, February 2, 2021, 01:50:55 PM MST, jeannemk401
<dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
CooeeThank you for your response - I'm new to this way of communicating and
would really like to talk to you -not sure how to do it in this fashion or if
that breaks rules.Your response gives me hope during a time I feel so alone and
in despair.Jeanne
-----Original Message-----
From: Coo-ee <dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: mormonshmc@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Sat, Jan 30, 2021 11:36 pm
Subject: [mormonshmc] Re: New Member - jeannemk401
Hi Pastor Dave:
I do feel uncomfortable sharing, but I also understand this is a space where we
share in order to encourage each other in our separate but similar struggles,
trying to figure out how to maintain a relationship with those we love who are
in some ways unreachable.
To answer your question about what aspects of the LDS church were shared with
me as troublesome, here are a few... How the church has worked at covering up
(glossing over?) parts of its history. How the church has actively worked
against LGBTQ rights. The ongoing sexism. These are common concerns for any LDS
member who is conflicted with doubts.
I think if the LDS church wants to hold onto its younger members, they're
eventually going to have to figure out a way to #1 be more honest with their
members about some sketchy history, #2 move forward to a more modern,
progressive outlook concerning the rights of women and LGBTQ members of
society. This seems to be what a lot of the younger people want and rightly so.
Again, let me recommend the "exmormon" Reddit forum for a more in depth look
than what I have to offer from my sidelines viewpoint. One needn't have a
Reddit account, you can just do a search for "Reddit exmormon" and their page
will come up in your search results.
Hoping my response helped - "Cooee"
  On Saturday, January 30, 2021, 05:53:00 PM MST, David Maxwell
<dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:Â
 I'm not sure who wrote this comment, "Yes, they're still LDS members, but
they now speak openly (to me, at least) about their dislike of many aspects of
the church. My feeling is that they may eventually leave it completely."
But who ever did, would you mind sharing with us on this website, if you feel
comfortable, what some of those aspects of the LDS church they don't like. I
have two grown grandsons who were raised in the church, but are not active, and
twin grandkids who are still in high school and I would like to hear, with your
permission, what some of the present dislikes are from others how have been in
it. Â
Thanks for your help, appreciatedPastor DaveÂ
  On Saturday, January 30, 2021, 02:50:21 PM PST, Coo-ee
<dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:Â
mber jeannemk401.
Jeanne, I too had a very close relationship w/my son, up until he was 17 and
became involved with Mormon teens. When he was first interested in their church
I didn't think much about it, other than being aware that it's common for all
of us to explore stuff like that in our teens.
But then, over the course of a year or so, things changed and it became clear
that he was pushing me away until eventually he went on a 2-year mission. That
was, hands down, the hardest 2 years I've ever lived through. FAST FORWARD 10
YEARS .. I'm happy to report that my son is now "mentally out". He's married to
a Mormon girl and they have children. Yes, they're still LDS members, but they
now speak openly (to me, at least) about their dislike of many aspects of the
church. My feeling is that they may eventually leave it completely.
When I was where you are now, it felt very hopeless. I felt that my son had
been sucked into something that would never end. But it did get easier. Even
before he became disillusioned with the church, we gradually regained some of
our previous comfort with each other. I don't think that could have happened if
I had cut him out of my life or if I had berated him about his life's choices.
I'm very, very sorry you're going through this but please know it can get
better. In the meantime, if your son feels moved to share his new beliefs, show
some mild interest if you can manage it. It wasn't easy, but I did whatever I
could to make it clear to him that I was in no way a threat to his church. I
was very careful not to give him cause to become defensive and pull even
further away from me. It's been over a decade now that I've been outwardly
displaying "acceptance" for a church that I cannot respect because of their
tactics in getting new members. Unless by some miracle both my son and
daughter-in-law get to the point where they lose all respect for their church,
I will have to keep up my "acceptance" forever. It's a very frustrating
experience but I strongly feel it's what has enabled me to have a somewhat
relaxed relationship with them. :(
Sending you a virtual hug, please know you aren't alone in your experience. Oh,
and here's a tip from left field: during my struggle to cope, I discovered a
group on Reddit, called "exmormon" - reading about the experiences of those who
have left the LDS church made me feel hopeful for my own son.
~Cooee
  On Tuesday, January 12, 2021, 03:17:19 PM MST, jeannemk401
<dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:Â
As non-LDS my son was offered a scholarship to BYU... soon he fell in love,
shortly thereafter, I witness (over the last year) some interesting "stuff".Â
During the pandemic he came back to east coast. On Halloween he had an
emotional breakdown (literally, if there wasn't a pandemic, I would have
brought him to the hospital) hating everything about BYU and Utah. On
November 3rd he talked to his Mormon coaches for 3 hours... on November 4th he
came down completely empty stare (his eyes concerned me so much and his lack of
emotion, more) and announced he was going to be going back to Utah in a couple
of weeks. During that time, he moved into a friend's house and I had little,
if any, contact with him. He left on November 26th - Until last week - very
little contact and only in text messages. Six friends and two missionaries
made sure to occupy his time over the last six weeks... they rarely left him
alone, including overnight visits to the temple to pray for his demons. T
h
ey insisted I was satan's way to persaude him and I had to go. Over the
weekend he sent me a picture of his baptism - I sent him a gift of support.Â
His non-mormon coach sent a text of concern how lost he appears and completely
uncharacteristic. I really need some support and would appreciate the
opportunity to talk to other parents who have been there - done that. Â
Locally my friends, family, and even my therapist tell me to let him go and
stop all contact, I know in my heart that would only make it worse (your
article reaffirms that).  I want to cautiously keep the lines of
communication open. Prior to this we had an amazingly closer than most type
relationship (due to an eight illness). Â
Thank you for your supportJeanne
Â
Â
Â
