[mit-ac6] The Best Things About Being A Guy!
- From: Neil Santos <ne0_akt@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: Ingrid Nieto <mit-ac6@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Fri, 20 Sep 2002 14:01:22 +0800
>> [Thursday] 9/19/2002 :: 4:15 PM -- REPLY
>> Message from :: Ingrid Nieto
>> Message about :: [mit-ac6] The Best Things About Being A Girl!
You -JUST- know I -HAVE- to rebuke this... ;)
IN> THE BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL*
THE BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GUY!
IN> 1.We can wear guys clothes. If they wear ours, they get funny
IN> looks.
Since you wear guy clothes, who's to say they're really guy clothes?
The distinction has been blurred from the start, so guy clothes aren't
really guy clothes anymore--they're just plain clothes.
IN> 2.Our friends dont say hello to us by punching us on the arm.
Nor do ours. Most of us stopped doing that when we evolved from
cavemen to (partly-)civilized people. Of course, there are
exceptions...
And I know girls who punch me on my arm to say hello. :b
IN> 3.Yea- PMS sucks. But at least we have a good excuse to chow down
IN> on chocolate for a week.
We have our own excuse--we're guys. 'Nuff said.
IN> 4.If we're on a really big ship that happens to hit an iceberg,
IN> we'll probably get first dibs on a lifeboat.
We get first dibs on a lifeboat, just right after we punch the
daylights out of the asshole blocking the way.
IN> 5.We get the bigger apartment on Friends.
But guys get the better lines on Friends.
IN> 6. Girl talk. You know, how we just understand each other without
IN> having to explain stuff.
Guy talk. You know, how we just understand each other without having
to say anything at all. We just have to follow each other's eyes...
IN> 7.We never have to stand at a urinal and have other girls stare at us.
We never have to stay in the washroom for more than 10 minutes, so
when we get out, we don't reek of pee-odors.
IN> 8.Dark circles under the eyes? A hickey? We can just cover them
IN> up with alittle concealer. ( how do guys live without that stuff?)
Us guys wear hickeys and dark circles as badges proudly.
IN> 9.We dont have to shave our faces. (ouch that must hurt)
We don't have to shave our legs, or pluck our eyebrows, or get rid of
armpit hair. And we don't have to shave... umm, down there.
IN> 10.We can jump around a lot and shake our hair and it looks like
IN> we know how to dance.
We can jump around a lot and shake our hair and people automagically
know that we know how to mosh.
IN> 11. Josh, Freddie Prinze, Jr., Ben Affleck, Scott , Cassidy. Do I
IN> Need to explain this one?
Rachael Anne Leigh Cook, Jeri Ryan, Roxanna Biggs-Dawson; do I need to
explain this one?
IN> 12.We get yummy chocolates and flowers from guys!!
We get to sleep with several girls in a week without being called a
slut.
IN> 13.We dont have to dowse our food in Tabasco sauce just to look
IN> tough...lol
We don't have to not drown our food in Tabasco sauce just to pretend
we're petite.
IN> 14.That whole circumcision thing!
Circumcision is actually not needed.
IN> 15.When we get married we get to keep our own name or choose one
IN> that we like even better.
We don't have to get married to be given this choice. We can change
our names when we reach eighteen, as long as we didn't commit any
heinous shit.
IN> 16.We dont have to deal with sideburns. Whats up with those
IN> anyway?
We don't have to deal with make-up. What's up with those anyway?
IN> 17.At least one girl always survives in horror flicks.
At least one guy gets to sleep with a foxy chiq in horror flicks, just
before he dies. Nice way to end a life, me thinks.
IN> 18.We never have to wear tighty-whities (or jock straps!)
We don't, either.
IN> 19.Even if we are ugly we have make-up to fix it!
Even if we are ugly, as long as we are sociable, there are bound to be
girls that would get attracted to us.
IN> 20.We can take stuffed animals to bed no matter how old we are.
We can take girls to bed no matter how old we are.
IN> 21.We dont have to wear tuxedos to the prom.
We don't have to show our backs when going to the prom, just to be
called `elegant'.
IN> 22.Nose hair, ear hair, back hair- so not a problem for us.
Why? You don't have them? Poor nose... poor ear... and back hair?
Not a problem for guys unless they're male leprechauns.
IN> 23.SLUMBER PARTIES! Guys just dont know how much fun those are.
DRINKING SESSIONS! Girls just don't know how much fun those are.
IN> 24.We dont have to worry about getting hurt, um, down there.
We don't have to carry babies, or lug around two boobies, and we don't
have to worry about guys trying to get their hands on our boobies
constantly.
IN> 25.That special bond we have with our moms-some day.
That special bond we have with our dads... After the fifteenth
tequila shot.
IN> 26.We dont feel the need to slap our teammates butt when she makes
IN> a good play.
We don't need an excuse to slap a female teammate's butt when she
makes a good play; it's just the nature of us guys.
IN> 27.Nobody makes fun of us for liking BSB or N'sync Well almost
IN> nobody.
Nobody makes fun of us for linking BSB or N`Sync. As long as we don't
tell anyone about it.
IN> 28.Pick up lines. They're not something we need to practice.
Pick up lines. They're not something we have to endure.
IN> 29.We can get away with wearing platform shoes without looking
IN> goofy.
That's what you girls think.
IN> 30.We give really really good advice.
But fail to recognize and follow really, really good advice.
IN> 31.On t.v. shows we're always the ones that have coolest
IN> supernatural powers.
And the ones that receive the lousiest lines from the bad guys. Works
the other way around, too.
IN> 32.Dollhouse, Delia's, XOXO, Wet Seal.
These, gentlemen, are proof that girls really are from another planet.
IN> 33.We can put cotton balls between our toes, paint our nails, and
IN> not feel the least bit silly.
We can put cotton balls in our nostrils and chase people, paint
graffiti on walls, and not feel the least bit silly.
IN> 34.Daria and Lisa Simpson are girls.
Bart Simpson and Jane's (Daria's friend) brother are guys.
IN> 35.Bevis and Butt-Head arent funny.
Beavis and Butthead need superior intellect to be appreciated and
called funny.
IN> 36.The coolest, sweetest songs and poems have been written about
IN> you.
The coolest, sweetest songs and poems have been written by guys. The
lousiest, pathetic songs and poems have been written by girls for
guys.
IN> 37.We dont have to sit on our wallets.
We don't have to carry our wallets, so we're free to hold our
girlfriend's hands and be sweet. And even if we sit on our wallets,
we're still always the ones to pay.
Proof that girls know nothing about basic economics.
IN> 38.And our wallets have a place for change.
Our change goes to those last two buckets you ate inside the cinema.
IN> 39.Its entirely possible that we will marry Ben Affleck some day.
It's entirely possible that you'd be able to kiss a frog that would
then turn into the most handsome prince. NOT!
IN> 40.Our lives do not revolve around ESPN Sports Center.
Nor do ours.
IN> 41.We can wear dresses without getting really weird looks from
IN> people.
We can take of our shirts at public places without getting really
weird (or horny) looks from people.
IN> 42.Its not required that we learn how to spit when we are young.
It's not required that we learn how to apply paint on our faces when
we are young.
IN> 43.We are called tomboys, Boys are called girlie.
The point being...?
IN> 44. Cooler names then guys.
Says who?
IN> 45.We have nicer handwriting than guys. Well its true.
I can name five guys that have nicer handwriting than five girls I
know.
IN> 46.Our magazines have Horoscopes.
Horoscopes are so boring.
IN> 47.We dont have to stuff boxers in our jeans.(How can that be
IN> comfortable?)
We don't have to wonder how stuffed boxers in jeans can be
comfortable.
IN> 48.Female pro athletes arent overpaid egomaniacs.(yet)
Females are usually egomaniacs to begin with.
IN> 49.Girls with guy first names (like Joey) sound cool, but it
IN> doesnt work the other way around.
Says you.
IN> 50.We look great in tank tops. ( Hint Hint to any guy reading this)
We look better in tank tops than girls, who just pretend they look
good in them. (Hint, hint to any girl reading this)
-------
``The game was over. The game had just begun.''
-- To Kill The Potemkin, Mark Joseph
... * <- Tribble *8 <- Tribble and mama out for stroll
Other related posts:
- » [mit-ac6] The Best Things About Being A Guy!
