[lit-ideas] Re: Calling all grammar mavens...
- From: "William Dolphin" <dolphinw@xxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sat, 9 May 2009 13:04:49 -0500
Judy's suggestion is the easiest fix, but it relies on casting a description
as part of a name -- a less-than-felicitous way to go, though a
common-enough contemporary occurrence (e.g. 'Joe the Plumber'). In that
case, I think you'd want to capitalize 'weatherman' to indicate as much, so
it would be 'Phil the Weatherman'.
Still, this is not a solution that pleases the editor in me, and it risks a
political allusion that may distract from you meaning.
What I would suggest is having the weatherman sentence conform more to the
structure of the groundhog sentence that precedes it (introductory modifying
prepositional clause), thus avoiding the awkward possessive that is the root
of your problem, as well as the passive voice, and creating a more parallel
structure for your comparison.
So it could be more along the lines of: "When Phil, the weatherman, sees his
shadow, he confronts/encounters/realizes/projects his importance...."
Also, you don't want to capitalize "groundhog" in the appositive usage, as
that is more descriptive than nominal (c.f. 'Phil the Weatherman').
-Wm. Dolphin
who has never considered himself a grammar maven but has nevertheless
obviously spent too much of his life concerned with the minutiae of editing
decisions
-----Original Message-----
From: lit-ideas-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:lit-ideas-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx]On Behalf Of Ursula Stange
Sent: Saturday, May 09, 2009 12:24 PM
To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [lit-ideas] Calling all grammar mavens...
Where to put the comma in that second weatherman? I was taught that a
sentence should read smoothly around what is included between commas. I can
see a clumsy workaround, of course, that would honour the letter of that
law, but at a cost. Where is Mrs. O'Brien when I need her?
Phil, the weatherman, shares his name with the groundhog, Punxatawney
Phil. If Phil, the Groundhog, sees his shadow, there will be six more
months of winter. Phil, the weatherman's, shadow could be seen as his
impression of his importance in the world -- casting a long shadow and so
forth. As long as he continues to see it, winter stays. It's only when he
truly puts others first, no longer basking in the sunshine (spotlight?) that
creates his shadow, that he is freed from the endless winter day.
Never mind why I am writing this in the first place...
Ursula
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