[haiku-development] Re: press remix
- From: Nicholas Otley <nicholasotley@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: haiku-development@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Sun, 9 May 2010 23:38:47 +0100
On 9 May 2010 22:44, Stephan Assmus <superstippi@xxxxxx> wrote:
>
> On 2010-05-09 at 20:16:43 [+0200], Jonas Sundström <jonas@xxxxxxxxxxx>
> wrote:
> >
> > I made some changes to the press release.
> > Feel free to use or lose.
> >
> > http://dl.dropbox.com/u/6414011/R1-Alpha2-PR-REVISED-kirilla.pdf
> > http://dl.dropbox.com/u/6414011/R1-Alpha2-PR-REVISED-kirilla.odt
>
> I really like the tone of this one. IMHO it's the best version yet. However
> I believe the sentences containing "we" need to be reworded, since many
> news sites may want to use the text as is, in another words, it cannot
> sound as they are "we". Would you want to make these changes, Jonas?
>
> Best regards,
> -Stephan
>
>
+1
It's very very good. Perhaps "we aspire to" could be changed to "the
project developers aspire to"?
Regards,
Nik
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