[guide.chat] : children in church
- From: "Keith Wines" <keith.wines@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: "guide chat" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sun, 24 Jan 2010 11:35:00 -0000
Sent by Rose .
Subject: children in church
Children in Church
A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As
he was coming down the aisle, he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the
crowd.
While facing the crowd, he would put his
hands up like claws and roar.
So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step,
ROAR, all the way down the aisle.
As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears
from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit.
When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed
and said,
"I was being the Ring Bear.."
One Sunday in a Midwest City , a young child
was "acting up" during the morning worship hour.
The parents did their best to maintain some
sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle.
Finally, the father picked the little fellow
up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out.
Just before reaching the safety of the
foyer, the little one called loudly to the congregation,
"Pray for me! Pray for me!"
One particular four-year old prayed, "And
forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if
you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good
time like I am."
A Sunday School teacher asked her little
children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary
to be quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied, "Because
people are sleeping."
A little boy opened the big and old family
Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them. Then
something fell out of the Bible.
He picked it up and looked at it closely. It
was an old leaf from a tree that has been pressed in between the pages.
"Mama, look what I found," the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?" his mother
asked.
With astonishment in the young boy's
voice he answered, "It's Adam 's suit"..
The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel
mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the
mike cord as he went.
Then he moved to one side, getting wound
up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again.
After several circles and jerks, a little
girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered,
"If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"
Six-year old Angie , and her four-year old
brother, Joel , were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and
talked out loud.. Finally, his big sister had had enough.
"You're not supposed to talk out loud in
church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked..
Angie pointed to the back of the church and
said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."
My grandson was visiting one day when he
asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"
I mentally polished my halo, while I
asked, "No, how are we alike?"
"You're both old," he replied.
A ten-year old, under the tutelage of her
grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible.
Then, one day, she floored her
grandmother by asking, "Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus ? The virgin Mary
or the King James Virgin ?"
A Sunday school class was studying the Ten
Commandments.. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked
if anyone could tell her what it was.
Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted,
"Thou shall not take the covers off the
neighbor's wife."
...
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