[edi581] Fwd: FW: Abbott and Costello in the Digital world
- From: Marisa Simmonds <sspunky52@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: edi581@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Sat, 15 Nov 2003 12:00:35 -0800 (PST)
I thought this was pretty funny and relevant to how technology is having an
effect on our language.
Marisa
Note: forwarded message attached.
---------------------------------
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From: "Simmonds, Richard [OCDUS]" <RSIMMOND@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: "Eric (E-mail)" <EASimmonds@xxxxxx>,
"Marisa (E-mail)"
<SSpunky52@xxxxxxxxx>
Subject: FW: Abbott and Costello in the Digital world
Date: Fri, 14 Nov 2003 13:33:07 -0500
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You guys will enjoy this.
By the way - WE HAVE A HOLE!!(in the ground that is). Started on Tuesday -
saw them puttting cement blocks in Wed. (and of course yesterday we had a
blizard)
D
-----Original Message-----
From: Kanaley, James [OCDUS]
Sent: Friday, November 14, 2003 1:32 PM
To: Simmonds, Richard [OCDUS]
Subject: FW: Abbott and Costello in the Digital world
Jim Kanaley
Ortho-Clinical Diagnostics
Phone: (585) 453-5652
Fax: (585) 453-6084
E-mail: jkanaley@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
-----Original Message-----
From: Eric Muench [mailto:eric@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx]
Sent: Friday, November 14, 2003 10:39 AM
To: Eric Muench
Subject: Abbott and Costello in the Digital world
Regards,
Eric Muench
Our 26th Year of Custom Systems Integration
www.Genesistems.com
If Abbott and Costello did their "Who's on First?" routine in today's
technology era,
RING! RING!
ABBOTT: Ultimate SuperDuper Computer Store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks.. I'm setting up a home office in the den, and I'm thinking
of buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name is Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name is Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Does it get stuffy?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What do I see when I look out the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software that runs on Windows?
COSTELLO: No, on the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track expenses. You know, run a business. What have you got?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommended something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: Okay, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Okay, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office.
ABBOTT: Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office and it already has windows! Let's say I'm
sitting at my computer, and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: If I'm writing a proposal, I'm going to need lots of words. But
what program do I load?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: The Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in "office for windows?"
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue W.
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your big W if you don't give me a straight
answer. Let's forget about words for a minute. What do I need if I want to
watch a movie over the Internet?
ABBOTT: RealOne.
COSTELLO: Maybe a real movie, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your
business. But what do I need to watch it?
ABBOTT: RealOne.
COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I'll also want to watch reels two, three and
four. Can I watch reel four?
ABBOTT: Of course.
COSTELLO: Great! With what?
ABBOTT: RealOne.
COSTELLO: Okay, so I'm sitting at my computer and I want to watch a movie.
What do I do?
ABBOTT: You click the blue 1.
COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
ABBOTT: The blue 1.
COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue W?
ABBOTT: Of course it is. The blue 1 is RealOne. The blue W is Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows!"
ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
COSTELLO: It is?
ABBOTT: Yes, although to be fair there aren't many other Words left. It
pretty much wiped out all the other Words.
COSTELLO: And that word is the real one?
ABBOTT: No. RealOne has nothing to do with Word. RealOne isn't even part of
Office.
COSTELLO: Never mind; I don't want to get started with that again. But I
also need something for bank accounts, loans, and so on. What do you have to
help me track my money?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: No, not really. It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What comes bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT : Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Exactly. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer at no extra charge? How
much money do I get?
ABBOTT: Just one copy.
COSTELLO: I get a copy of money. Isn't that illegal?
ABBOTT: No. We have a license from Microsoft to make copies of Money.
COSTELLO: Microsoft can license you to make money?
ABBOTT: Why not? They own it.
COSTELLO: Well, it's great that I'm going to get free money, but I'll still
need to track it. Do you have anything for managing your money?
ABBOTT: Managing Your Money? That program disappeared years ago.
COSTELLO: Well, what do you sell in its place?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: You sell money?
ABBOTT: Of course. But if you buy a computer from us, you get it for free.
COSTELLO: That's all very wonderful, but I'll be running a business. Do you
have any software for, you know, accounting?
ABBOTT: Simply Accounting.
COSTELLO: Probably, but it might get a little complicated.
ABBOTT: If you don't want Simply Accounting, you might try M.Y.O.B.
COSTELLO: M.Y.O.B.? What does that stand for?
ABBOTT: Mind Your Own Business.
COSTELLO: I beg your pardon?
ABBOTT: No, that would be I.B.Y.P. I said M.Y.O.B.
COSTELLO: Look, I just need to do some accounting for my home business. You
know--accounting? You do it with money.
ABBOTT: Of course you can do accounting with Money. But you may need more.
COSTELLO: More money?
ABBOTT: More than Money. Money can't do everything.
COSTELLO: I don't need a sermon! Okay, let's forget about money for the
moment. I'm worried that my computer might...what's the word? Crash. And if
my computer crashes, what can I use to restore my data?
ABBOTT: GoBack.
COSTELLO: Okay. I'm worried about my computer smashing and I need something
to restore my data. What do you recommend?
ABBOTT: GoBack.
COSTELLO: How many times do I have to repeat myself?
ABBOTT: I've never asked you to repeat yourself. All I said was GoBack.
COSTELLO: How can I go back if I haven't even been anywhere? Okay, I'll go
back. What do I need to write a proposal?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: But I'll need lots of words to write a proposal.
ABBOTT: No, you only need one Word-the Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: But there's three words in...Oh, never mind. <CLICK!
ABBOTT: Hello? Hello? Customers! Why do they always hang up on me? Oh, well.
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<TITLE>FW: Abbott and Costello in the Digital world</TITLE>
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<BODY>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>You guys will enjoy this.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>By the way - WE HAVE A HOLE!!(in the ground that =
is). Started on Tuesday - saw them puttting cement blocks in =
Wed. (and of course yesterday we had a blizard)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>D</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>-----Original Message-----</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>From: Kanaley, James [OCDUS] </FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>Sent: Friday, November 14, 2003 1:32 PM</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>To: Simmonds, Richard [OCDUS]</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>Subject: FW: Abbott and Costello in the Digital =
world</FONT>
</P>
<BR>
<BR>
<BR>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>Jim Kanaley</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>Ortho-Clinical Diagnostics</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>Phone: (585) 453-5652</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>Fax: (585) 453-6084</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>E-mail: jkanaley@xxxxxxxxxxxxx</FONT>
</P>
<BR>
<BR>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>-----Original Message-----</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>From: Eric Muench [<A =
HREF=3D"mailto:eric@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx";>mailto:eric@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx</A>]</F=
ONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>Sent: Friday, November 14, 2003 10:39 AM</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>To: Eric Muench</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>Subject: Abbott and Costello in the Digital =
world</FONT>
</P>
<BR>
<BR>
<BR>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>Regards,</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>Eric Muench</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>Our 26th Year of Custom Systems Integration </FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>www.Genesistems.com </FONT>
</P>
<BR>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>If Abbott and Costello did their "Who's on =
First?" routine in today's</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>technology era,</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>RING! RING!</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Ultimate SuperDuper Computer Store. Can I =
help you?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: Thanks.. I'm setting up a home office in =
the den, and I'm thinking</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>of buying a computer.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Mac?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: No, the name is Lou.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Your computer?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy =
one.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Mac?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: I told you, my name is Lou.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: What about Windows?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: Why? Does it get stuffy?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: I don't know. What do I see when I look out =
the windows?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Wallpaper.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer =
and software.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Software that runs on Windows?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: No, on the computer! I need something I can =
use to write</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>proposals, track expenses. You know, run a business. =
What have you got?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Office.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend =
anything?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: I just did.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: You just did what?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Recommended something.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: You recommended something?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Yes.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: For my office?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Yes.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2> COSTELLO: Okay, what did you recommend for my =
office?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Office.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: Okay, what did you recommend for my =
office?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Office.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: Yes, for my office.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Office for Windows.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: I already have an office and it already has =
windows! Let's say I'm</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>sitting at my computer, and I want to type a =
proposal. What do I need?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Word.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: If I'm writing a proposal, I'm going to =
need lots of words. But</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>what program do I load?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Word.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: What word?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: The Word in Office.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: Which word in "office for =
windows?"</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue =
W.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: I'm going to click your big W if you don't =
give me a straight</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>answer. Let's forget about words for a minute. What =
do I need if I want to</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>watch a movie over the Internet?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: RealOne.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: Maybe a real movie, maybe a cartoon. What I =
watch is none of your</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>business. But what do I need to watch it?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: RealOne.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I'll also want to =
watch reels two, three and</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>four. Can I watch reel four?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Of course.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: Great! With what?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: RealOne.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: Okay, so I'm sitting at my computer and I =
want to watch a movie.</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>What do I do?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: You click the blue 1.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: The blue 1.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue W?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Of course it is. The blue 1 is RealOne. The =
blue W is Word.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: What word?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for =
windows!"</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word =
in the world.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: It is?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Yes, although to be fair there aren't many =
other Words left. It</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>pretty much wiped out all the other Words.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: And that word is the real one?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: No. RealOne has nothing to do with Word. =
RealOne isn't even part of</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>Office.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: Never mind; I don't want to get started =
with that again. But I</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>also need something for bank accounts, loans, and so =
on. What do you have to</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>help me track my money?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Money.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Money.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: No, not really. It comes bundled with your =
computer.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: What comes bundled with my computer?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT : Money.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: Money comes bundled with my =
computer?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Exactly. No extra charge.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer at =
no extra charge? How</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>much money do I get?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Just one copy.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: I get a copy of money. Isn't that =
illegal?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: No. We have a license from Microsoft to make =
copies of Money.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: Microsoft can license you to make =
money?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Why not? They own it.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: Well, it's great that I'm going to get free =
money, but I'll still</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>need to track it. Do you have anything for managing =
your money?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Managing Your Money? That program disappeared =
years ago.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: Well, what do you sell in its place?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Money.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: You sell money?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Of course. But if you buy a computer from us, =
you get it for free.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: That's all very wonderful, but I'll be =
running a business. Do you</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>have any software for, you know, accounting?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Simply Accounting.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: Probably, but it might get a little =
complicated.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: If you don't want Simply Accounting, you =
might try M.Y.O.B.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: M.Y.O.B.? What does that stand for?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Mind Your Own Business.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: I beg your pardon?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: No, that would be I.B.Y.P. I said =
M.Y.O.B.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: Look, I just need to do some accounting for =
my home business. You</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>know--accounting? You do it with money.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Of course you can do accounting with Money. =
But you may need more.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: More money?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: More than Money. Money can't do =
everything.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: I don't need a sermon! Okay, let's forget =
about money for the</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>moment. I'm worried that my computer might...what's =
the word? Crash. And if</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>my computer crashes, what can I use to restore my =
data?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: GoBack.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: Okay. I'm worried about my computer =
smashing and I need something</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>to restore my data. What do you recommend?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: GoBack.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: How many times do I have to repeat =
myself?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: I've never asked you to repeat yourself. All =
I said was GoBack.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: How can I go back if I haven't even been =
anywhere? Okay, I'll go</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=3D2>back. What do I need to write a proposal?</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Word.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: But I'll need lots of words to write a =
proposal.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: No, you only need one Word-the Word in Office =
for Windows.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>COSTELLO: But there's three words in...Oh, never =
mind. <CLICK!</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT SIZE=3D2>ABBOTT: Hello? Hello? Customers! Why do they always =
hang up on me? Oh, well.</FONT>
</P>
</BODY>
</HTML>
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