Hi everyone, Thank you for the very powerful and important discussionhere, on
the list. Collectively, we are touching on a number of themes,including:
…issues of trust and power, … how easily anyone, including the facilitator, can
be“in” certain fields that they are not aware of, which may affect
theirinteractions in the constellation……. Trauma and re-enactment… autonomy and
individual style, where to draw the line,what might be ‘too much’….…it looks
different from inside the field/at an event,and watching it later on video…. I
want to point to another theme – the distinctionbetween:- clear
seeing/brilliant insights,- and skillful actions that encourage theembodiment
of those insights. I ask that we acknowledge that these are two distinctskill
sets. 1-Being able to see/sense what is present, and how itwants to be 2-The
skills to help the alignment occur in a digestiblemanner…. Each has its own
sensitivities and competencies… Each is worthy of honor.Both are needed to
maximize the power of this work. We may be brilliant in one, and not as
skilled inanother. And, of course, we continue to learn from our own work,and
from others’ work, and from feedback from clients, teachers, andcolleagues.And,
we can keep on learning from each other….
In the discussion about the Russian workshop, I doubtanyone disagreed about the
clear seeing of 'what needed to happen' in the Constellation.The disagreement
is about whether the intervention of the facilitator was inharmony with
integration of the insight into the client and her system. I am not going to
weigh in on that specific case, as I lack theunderstanding.
I do want to speak more about some of the dynamics that emergefrom the
difference between the mind’s scope and speed of processing, and thebody’s
scope and speed of processing…. Clear seeing is a powerful gift. “To do
theimpossible, one must perceive the invisible”Or: “You can walk on water, if
you know where the stonesare” As a medical doctor, I might have an insight that
apatient is stuck in their denial about their alcoholism or their high
bloodpressure. As a facilitator, I might receive an insight from theField, or
from my understanding, that someone ‘needs’ to honor his mother. These are
diagnostic insights. [As I write this, I recall that Bert Hellinger
oftendescribes himself as a ‘seer’.He often sees incredibly clearly how things
‘want to beoriented’ in respect to each other.This has been a gift that others
have picked up frombeing in his presence, from watching him, from his
writings….] Once we have a sense of what is out of order, there comesthe next
skill set – what to do, and how to do it.
Here are a few UNskillful interventions to try to setsomething right:
-As a therapist with a PTSD client, I may try to get aclient to re-live their
experience, so that they can ‘release it’ (we know howineffective, and
potentially harmful, this is now) -As a facilitator, I might push a client too
far, andretraumatize them. - I may try to get my patients with a drinking
problem toface the reality of their medical situation by sticking the
laboratory resultsin their face, berating them, or tellingthem that they don’t
really love their family if they are unwilling to keepthemselves healthy…. [….
Research studies in the medical profession show that tryingto break through
denial with force is highly unlikely to be unsuccessful. …
MotivationalInterviewing has a great deal of insight in to how to encourage
people, bybeing both supportive, AND, reflecting back to them their own change
language,supporting their own motivation for change. So far, most health
professionalsare unaware of the power and skill set of M.I.…] It can be easy
for there to be a split between these twocompetencies.
Some of this is because of the ‘pressure’ that occurswhen something feels ‘out
of order’.It may feel as if transpersonal energies are at playhere, pushing
hard to re-align the system. This makes sense in Constellations, where we know
that, for example, agrandchild can be ‘forced’ into a position in order to
balance a system. Of course systems have pressures....
And, we know that this intense pressure and ‘greater knowing’ carries
arightness (and perhaps sometimes a "righteousness") with it that goes beyond
the personal.
The stronger theinsight, the stronger the “knowing”, the stronger the Cosmic
Power, thestronger the energetic pressure for things to go into order. So, it
can feel “natural” to feel justified in imposingorder, because we may be in
touch with the energy of this pressure, and that iswhat It wants… And, the
greater the temptation to attempt to FORCEthings into order….
Asfacilitators, we may sometimes be subject to being affected in this way by
these energies,perhaps? If you look at the laws in the Hebrew Bible, you will
seethis dynamic at play - how ‘violationsof order’, such as working on the
Sabbath, etc were punishable by austeremeasures…Forcing order...
Exodus 31:14 “You shall keep the Sabbath, therefore, for it is holy to you.
Everyonewho profanes it shall surely be put to death; for whoever does any work
on it,that person shall be cut off from among his people.” This archetypal
movement is ever-active in the universe….. When we act from this place of too
much force of the impersonal onto the personal, which is so easy to do, wecan
intensify the split between the mind and our bodies, between one ‘world’and the
‘other’…. Unlike a flash of insight that comes suddenly, embodimentof divine
form occurs over time, and is a slower, more relational process, one thatoften
involved ‘feeling held by’, holding space for, its own timing….. As we evolve
into appreciating this corporeal life aswell as the Cosmic Order, things shift
a bit, and I am imagining an additional guidelinefor facilitating life-forward
movement: -If the “first sin” (in the original Hebrew sense of sin -‘missing
the mark’) is not knowingthe ‘cosmic order’ imprinted in the stars…. (as a
facilitator, we may miss the mark because we don’tsee how things are aligned,
so we go off course in the Constellation or therapy)…. I would suggest that the
“second sin” may be not appreciatingthe rhythms and processes of our bodies and
minds, not being aware of thetiming imprinted in our hearts and souls, not
sufficiently appreciating howto facilitate the in-form-ation of Cosmic Order
into embodiment through tendingto the Tao of the body and mind….
Ahhh, just when we thought we had figured out how to sense the Field, another
space opens, another series of skill sets that can allow us to serve Life more
and more deeply....
Take good care, thanks for listening, and hope this was of some value to you,
Bruce
Bruce Nayowith MD“…. seeking to connect the energy and commitment of activists,
the guidance andsensitivity of intuitives, and the paradigms and processes from
various healingtraditions, to help us engage the intense challenges of our
times….”
