Hello All,
I tend to agree with Thomas. The general issue is not so much talking or
not talking, but awareness. Arbitrary rules may cloud our sensitivity to
the actual need of the moment. Talking can be a distraction, signalling a
need to distract. The challenge then is to identify and explore that need.
If we use harsh methods of prohibition the result could turn out to be
ineffective or just re-traumatising.
Best wishes,
Robert
ps
The ethics of allowing the client to decide without sufficient
understanding is one thing, allowing the facilitator to decide without
sufficient understanding is an other thing. So for me the safest approach
is to follow to client, provide suggestions, invitation but leave to
decision with them.
[ConstellationTalk]" <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Hello Alison and all friends
Alison, big hug and sorry to miss the Intensive. Hope to make it next
year.
Please allow me to share an experience. It was 2007 and I attended the
Intensive at Benreid, Germany. It was also a time of change for the work
from the movement of the Soul to the movement of the Spiritmind as revealed
to Mr. Hellinger.
Mr. Hunter Beaumont announced that morning that there was a surprise
visit from both Mr. Bert and Sophie Hellinger for that morning.
Mr. Hellinger then began to say he would like to demonstrate the new way
of the work as in the movement of the SpiritMind and that he only wanted to
work around illnesses. There were about 80 of us in that intensive. My
sister was just diagnosed with cancer and many hands went up wishing to be
selected. My hand shot up so fast and up to this day I still do not know
how that happened. That day my body was faster then my mind and definitely
my love for my sister evident. You see I was too terrified to work with Mr.
Hellinger as I was the stubborn type or perhaps just fragily rebellious.
I was selected out of several folks with hands up and overhead someone
whispered how he only wants to work with Chinese?! I felt I was picked by
the colorblind FIELD that said yes! In any case quite amusing now to be
reminded of it as I write here.
I sat on the “hot seat” and began to speak and Mr. Hellinger practically
shouted at me and said “No talking”. For some of you that know me, you
already know I can be quite a chatterbox and he had to tell me again to be
quiet few times and then even insisted that I closed my eyes.
The constellation was facilitated by him in total silence from beginning
to end and I had no idea what is was all about and so new in that way then.
Lots of slow motion movements, representatives falling to the group, few
are crying and he had me represent myself and I remember looking out and
there was a tree and then I was back in the “hot seat” again when completed
and began to speak again and he again had to tell me “No talking” and then
he further went on to declare that no one should talk or ask me about the
constellation and if they did, they would be displaying the energy of a
Rapist. That shut me up for sure TOTALLY. It worked!
Also grateful to him that not only can I not speak about it, I was also
protected from others coming to me with their “kind" interpretations. So I
was spared from the mind having to make conclusions from my own and other
well meaning folks.
This experience alone showed me the respect and honor that Mr. Hellinger
gave to me and my system without his interference. Such trust makes him a
true Master of this work in my opinion.
Because it was a training I heard that there was a meeting that night for
the students and they did speak about my constellation but I was the only
one that naturally did not want to violate myself and so did not attend.
I was left in the uncomfortable space of not knowing and then 3 days
later while walking the amazing forest close by, all the upsurge of the
insights came from deep within me in it’s purity. Wow! It did not come from
Mr. Hellinger nor anyone else but from my own innate wisdom and Mr.
Hellinger is a warrior and he knows how to be patient in not knowing. Thank
you Mr. Hellinger for your fine art of Trust, Respect & Honor. Thank you.
On a different note, I just received today an email newsletter from my
former Biodynamic Cranio Sacral teacher, Michael Shea and I find it quite
relevant to our sharing here and so I copied from him to share with all of
you dear fellow travelers of Life & of Love. Thank you:-
This video captures the vastness of a limpid ocean just before sunrise.
The stillness is palpable yet there is still movement and sound from the
shore break. That is why dynamic stillness is not inert but rather contains
an active principle of clarity, spaciousness and above all relaxation. When
we can relax our minds, we can tune in to the natural vastness and
unlimited space of our mind just as it is reflected in the ocean in front
of us. Click HERE
<http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?f=001mjiMJxWnHNAxtVGIlhfhlhEpL1ev1Emmc7Rumr5vwZrBNvuaxjC-YYt05RTjF2JxTrcYJkcPB5uGZeL2RMS_zRmbWF3UFjqPzL9rAuRv579bTLoFMfx6iAh0iS62WHTHuF8ptskFoYgZUibi6HN20_8lNY3slNdc4fdKlt459mhk_UFbZAjvgkoSEbo9UnsdCGcEQdAEDks=&c=u2uusnaq5k-S8ceE6ec4SLn0qvFbe7C28emwIsYsiP7-ublQRlsk2Q==&ch=mddmy2OGYNXwN7nEpv0VgdbBPYn9RIHdx0XUFTzSer8L75y2KuLpgQ==>
to view this video.
within all of love and it’s mysterious blessings both known and unknown
Anutosh
www.anutoshhealingarts.com
On Jul 31, 2014, at 9:04 PM, Julio Príncipe principejulio@xxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk]
<ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
In my case, when I work with organisations,,talk about along with the
team brings a wide space and allow new options to handle how to build a new
kind of results in "this" reality. With issues like trauma or just family
relationships I prefer to ask the client if she/he want to share his/her
experience and some insights (not the process), but many times I suggest
not to talk also. I want to add that I work with family constellations
almost exclusively in individual settings (organisational usually in
workshops).
However, I use to receive positive feedback both in family as with
organisational cases; so I cannot say when it's better or is not; I trust
in what I feel in the moment with my client (a new team, a confused CEO, a
concerned mother, etc).
Thank you Heiki for your question, I'll pay atention looking for
differences and new learnings.
Julio
El jul 31, 2014 10:42 PM, "Heiki Eesmaa heiki.eesmaa@xxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk]"
<ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> escribió:
So for those who don't follow the "don't talk about it" rule, how are
the results? Is there correlation between those who are eager to discuss
their constellation and those whose constellation seems to not resolve
their issue?
As a matter of another principle, I wonder if clients really really can
decide for themselves when to discuss and when not, as Katia del Rivero
Vargas wrote. If even we don't know for sure what effects such discussion
has for them, I wonder about the ethics of allowing the client to decide
without sufficient understanding.
best regards
Heiki Eesmaa
