Dear Bubula,
thanks for your mail.
You do touch on an interesting question: Do we need all the detours to do
the next step, and (or) are there detours at all?
I would not dismiss any previously explored terrain. Actually, going down a
road that did not get me to where I wanted to go is a great teaching,
sharpening the senses to what is more important.
I think you are right in saying that we are only ready for a teaching ( an
insight) when we are truly ready for it, but that does not mean
automatically, that we will get or find the appropriate and most helpful
teaching then. But, lets discuss that in Byron!
I just spoke with Christina, the organiser of my group a few minutes ago,
she had been pretty busy with some private matters, but she thinks that the
group will be happening. I told her that you will be joining, just give her
a call on 66 85 35 94.
I will be coming anyway to Byron, even if the group is not happening, so we
could meet up. Could you send me your number to
thomas@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx then I will give you a call once I am in Byron. I am
sorry if my group might be clashing with yours, that was not my intention.
By the way: finding men to come the groups is difficult here as well!
looking forward to meeting up, all the best
Thomas
-----Ursprüngliche Nachricht-----
Von: Bubula Lardi [mailto:bubula@xxxxxxxxxxxxx]
Gesendet: Freitag, 5. September 2003 10:25
An: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Betreff: Re: AW: [ConstellationTalk] Selecting a practitioner
Dear Thomas,
Chris Walsh recently brought to our attention that many postings on the
ConstellationTalk@ Yahoogroups.com have not had the attention that they
deserve. Your email to us in July is one that took my attention which I have
been meaning to followup. I liked your summary 'to be seen and accepted just
as you' as your real need and motivation in attending a workshop but somehow
previously had got the opposite. Although I don't think I could dismiss all
that I previously explored before coming to Constellation work as
unnecessary detours, I guess they did bring me to 'the next obvious step' -
i.e. as a Constellation practitioner. We are only ready for the teaching
when WE are truly ready. But very life-changing too.
Now I regularly lead family constellation workshops in Byron Bay
(approximtely 4 or 5 a year) where I have lived with my partner since 1995.
You mentioned that you will be leading your own workshop here on the last
weekend in September. I would very much like to take up your invitation to
attend if it is still happening. So far I haven't heard or seen any
advertisement for it. I myself have one coming up in the first weekend of
October, so we'll see what happens for us. My main difficulty in Byron is
getting men to attend!
So I look forward to hearing from you soon. You can read a little bit
about me on Chris Walsh's website under 'Practitioners.' I read and saw your
photograph on this site too.
My warm wishes to you,
love,
Bubula Lardi
On Tuesday, July 29, 2003, at 04:47 AM, Thomas Falke wrote:
Dear Chris, and all (a few words about myself at the end of this
posting)
this is a very good point, and not only for Constellation practitioners!
I guess these questions are first for the practitioner to answer, then
for the client.
At least before the first group, the client normally does not have much
chance to ask these questions, or get answers.
So it is very important for the client to ask himself why he is going to
do a workshop, what he wants to get out of it, where he is clear, and where
he does not know what his motivations and needs are. But again, this could
be a very difficult process for somebody being in need and at the beginning
of his journey.
It took myself countless years to truly ask myself this question: Where
am I looking for, what is missing, what do I want and need.
I found that I got pretty much the opposite out of the workshops I
attended then what my needs were. My real needs were simple: the right to
belong, to be "allowed" to just be as I was. I thought that I was looking
for enlightenment or spiritual growth.
In the seminars I went to at the time one was told how to be, in order
to be a good enough person to belong........there one had to be
unconditional loving, not jealous, angry and all the rest of that stuff, so
basically, there was never a chance to belong!
If I would have looked at my "true" motivation in the first place, I
could have saved myself a lot of trouble and detours. But I guess, I was in
no position to ask these questions, and so I trusted whatever was said or
thought. So I did fall into even greater confusion, cause my gut feeling was
often different from the teachings.
I guess we, as facilitators, have to point the client to look at these
issues, and treat them in a way, that they know deep down, that the way they
are (in there core) is totally ok. We look at them from adult to adult.
Constellation work is very helpful with that. No judgements are helpful,
and normally we can find the love in all actions of the client, no matter
how bad they might look on the outside. With that kind of attitude and
respect the client should be pretty save.
In some of the older postings there was a lot of discussions about how
to keep or establish a good standard of the work.
I want to add a few thoughts and observations, cause they fit so well
with the above subject.
1. I have seen very good facilitators doing very "bad" constellations.
Their own unresolved issues simply came into the work. I guess that is very
hard to avoid, after all, we are all on the journey.
2. Facilitating constellations creates an energy of it's own, which
sometimes seems to lead to a false security into what one is doing. So it
becomes more difficult to stay alert to ones own, let's say, imperfections.
Even a lot of training can't help that completely. So what I suggest is
to invite other practitioners to join our workshops, and ask for their
feedback- after the seminar. (and vice versa) This can be a good training
for both.
Last I want to introduce myself to this forum. Thanks Chris for putting
me on this list, and for initiating it!
I am German and have lived in Perth for about 5 years. On one of my
trips to Germany I attended a workshop with Jakob Schneider, which turned my
life upside down. I asked him about where my place in life and in the world
is, and 3 months after that constellation I had moved back to Germany and
started to learn family constellation with a lot of the great teachers over
here.
I am a trained Architect, worked with a lot of different professions,
but spent by far the most time on my personal journey. Constellation work
put all the different things I learned into context for me.
Since about a year I run workshops myself. In September/October I will
combine a visit to my "old friends & home" in Perth, with giving some
groups. (Byron Bay 27/28 Sep, and 1.& 2. weekend in Oct. in Perth) If
anybody of you would like to join and /or discuss the work, I would be glad
to have you there: please be my guest!
One last thing: are you aware of the English Hellingerside? Here the
link:
http://www.hellinger.com/international/english/index.shtml
love
Thomas Falke
thomas@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
-----Ursprüngliche Nachricht-----
Von: Chris Walsh [mailto:info@xxxxxxxxxxxxx]
Gesendet: Sonntag, 27. Juli 2003 11:24
An: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Betreff: [ConstellationTalk] Selecting a practitioner
Buddha Siddhartha gave good advice [1][1] on how to select a teacher
and then how to relate to that teacher once selected.
I have adopted these points to apply them to selecting and relating to
Constellation Practitioners. I was wondering what other people's thoughts
about these might be. I am sure these points could be usefully expanded.
hasta la vista
Chris Walsh
An Australian Constellation Website:
www.constellationflow.com
Ø First we need to assess if the teacher’s motivations are good.
If the practitioner is motivated by greed, hate and confusion, this can
be achieved by carefully examining a person’s deeds, words and thoughts.
Eg.
§ Is the practitioner overly pushy in getting people to come to
his/her workshops? (especially repeat workshops)
§ Does the practitioner work to make participants stronger to
face life or do they create unnecessary dependence?
§ Does the practitioner promote an attitude of compassion and
understanding of all or do they denigrate certain groups? (eg males or
females, perpetrators or victims, various religious or political groupings.)
Ø Once we place trust in a good person we do not need to accept
everything they say merely on the basis of faith.
We must verify for ourselves whether what we have accepted on good faith
is true or false. We can do this by a careful examination of how things have
come to be.
[1][1]Kalupahana David J & Indriani (1982) pp 199-201
The Way of Siddhartha; A Life of The Buddha
Shambhala
Boulder&London
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