re[4]: [CollabLaw] mediation training
- From: Gary Direnfeld <gary@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: CollabLaw Moderator <CollabLaw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sat, 6 Jan 2007 18:53:51 -0500
Hey Folks,
We are on the same page...
Entry into the "system" may be better in some cases through the mental health
folks... Case in point, I have marketed quite heavily to area physicians where
I live. In my marketing, I have explained in depth about Collaborative Law AND
my availability to meet with couples before actually initiating divorce
proceedings, collaborative or not. In other words, I actively seek referrals of
couples in serious distress.
As a result, I see many couples on the cusp of separation/divorce. Where
possible, I help them to improve and maintain the relationship. Where not
possible, I guide them to Collaborative Lawyers to sort out the material
aspects of the separation.
I view this work as "preventative". I belive it is in children's interest to
"catch" their parents before they trudge down an adversarial path by
inadvertently choosing a traditional family law approach.
I must say, it is far less stressful and more rewarding to work with the
parents at this stage than after they have been seriously polarized by the
traditional approach. While sometimes parents need an opportunity to vent their
anger, I have found that they do appreciate a frank conversation about the
differences in approaches with a view to the impact on their children. So I
give them a chance to vent with a clinical disposition towards then
de-escalating conflict.
Best,
Gary
Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW
Interaction Consultants and I Promise Program Inc.
20 Suter Crescent,
Dundas, Ontario, Canada
L9H 6R5
(905) 628-4847
gary@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Parenting: www.yoursocialworker.com
Teen safe driving: www.ipromiseprogram.com
Gary Direnfeld is a social worker and expert on matters of family life. He is
in private practice (Interaction Consultants), writes and provides workshops
and is the developer of the "I Promise Program" - teen safe driving initiative.
Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider Gary an expert on child development,
parent-child relations, marital and family therapy, custody and access
recommendations, social work and an expert for the purpose of giving a critique
on a Section 112 (social work) report. His opinion helps resolve child custody
and access matters.
Gary's services include counselling, mediation, assessments, assessment
critiques and workshops. Search his name on GOOGLE.COM to view his many
articles or go directly to his website: www.yoursocialworker.com where you can
view his CV, read his many articles and view video clips of his many television
appearances.
Gary-
I appreciate your prompt and non-defensive reply. I had not seen the
description of the clients. Given that you know the clients, you are in a
position to consider how best thay could be shepherded toward a colaborative
solution. If you did not know them, it seems to me that you would be assumig
that most people would go to an attorney; the assumption may be correct but not
necessarily in the best interests of the clients.
What I think I am attempting to consider here is the issue of the decision to
come to a divorce. In general it seems to me that people can be helped to
consider the decision even though they seem to have made it by going to an
attorney. The way I conceptualize the CL process, the process itself is meant
to be neutral and skilled CL attorneys are able in 4 way meetings to walk the
line between advocacy or support of their respective clients and keeping the
process neutral, muchas a skilled couples therapist can take up one side then
the other of the parties perceptions of a situation or each other while still
maintaining a neutral stance. It does seem to me that people considering a
divorce might often be better served by being directed to a party that is more
clearly neutral (a mediator or MHP) and who can address and unpack the reasons
for the divorce prior to entering into discussion of the substantive issues.
As i intimated in my last post, having a plethora of cases would tend to
provide conditions that would better test my hypothesis.
Chris Burr
----- Original Message -----
From: Gary Direnfeld
To: CollabLaw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Saturday, January 06, 2007 10:35 AM
Subject: re[2]: [CollabLaw] mediation training
Hi Chris,
Yes, I am aware of the various websites.
What a website cannot offer however, is who may best appreciate what kind of
case. As such, this listserve offers a remarkable opportunity to survey a large
group such that one might best match or find persons better suited to
particular situations. Hence my brief description of the parties along with my
request...
As for referral to mental health folks to collaborate along with with process,
I would leave that to the lawyers to determine with regard to their approach
and local knowledge of available resources.
Knowing the parties, they will approach their separation through the legal
arena first as many folks do. I am promoting their first step by shepherding
them towards collaborative law.
Best,
Gary
Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW
Interaction Consultants and I Promise Program Inc.
20 Suter Crescent,
Dundas, Ontario, Canada
L9H 6R5
(905) 628-4847
gary@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Parenting: www.yoursocialworker.com
Teen safe driving: www.ipromiseprogram.com
Gary Direnfeld is a social worker and expert on matters of family life. He is
in private practice (Interaction Consultants), writes and provides workshops
and is the developer of the "I Promise Program" - teen safe driving initiative.
Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider Gary an expert on child development,
parent-child relations, marital and family therapy, custody and access
recommendations, social work and an expert for the purpose of giving a critique
on a Section 112 (social work) report. His opinion helps resolve child custody
and access matters.
Gary's services include counselling, mediation, assessments, assessment
critiques and workshops. Search his name on GOOGLE.COM to view his many
articles or go directly to his website: www.yoursocialworker.com where you can
view his CV, read his many articles and view video clips of his many television
appearances.
Sue-
I am very pleased that you have had this experience and are offering this
course. It seems to me that this is a very good avenue for growth of CL. I know
that Zina Zumeta trained one of our best mediators here in Rochester NY, one of
two mediators actively involved in our CL group.
I also appreciated your response to Gary in his request for CL attorneys here
in Rochester. While I think it would be good plicy to have a referral service
for attorneys as well as mental health professionals (of which I am one) and
mediators who are working collaboratively, the most equitible group method of
distribution of cases that we have is through our and IACP's website. This said
to not attack Norma Trusch or Sue Brunsting (who is a valued colleague) but to
draw attention toyour approach. By the way Gary, have you thought of referring
to CL mental health professionals or mediators? It was something of a surprise
to me that you who are active in CL, or on the listserve at least, would not
have known of the IACP website network.
We have a number of attorneys in Rochester who settle divorces only by the CL
method. They are Sue Brunsting, Dave Murch, Diana Deyo-Ryan and Gus Ryan (on
leave at the moment) and Janet Korts who has retired. There are a number of
others who have put in a considerable amount of time into our organization and
would prefer, as I understand, it to settle cases collaboratively. I am doing
an injustice to them by rendering the short list mentioned above, nevertheless
they are the ones who have had the courage to restrict their practice to CL
cases in the divorce area. Not everyone can take that chance; I look forward to
the day when most cases are collaboratively settled and we have attorneys,
mediators and MHP's clammering at the doorto get the kind of CL training you
are offering.
While I'm at it, accollades to you and the Board of IACP, Sue Brunsting being
our representative, for your hard work and particularly for the wisdom of
gathering data about cases.
Best wishes to all,
Chris Burr
Certified and licensed psychoanalyst, Ph. D. psychologist, and CL
coach/facilitator
Rochester,NY
----- Original Message -----
From: Susan A. Hansen
To: [CollabLaw]
Sent: Friday, January 05, 2007 11:11 AM
Subject: [CollabLaw] mediation training
I am finding increasingly positive intersections between collaborative
practice and mediation. These include similar foundational skills,
cross-referrals, incorporation of interdisciplinary collaborative team roles
in mediation, and involvement of mediators in some collaborative cases. In
my experience, an open discussion of process options with prospective
clients has generally resulted in clients choosing mediation or
collaboration. Though our state collaborative council does not mandate
mediation training, we are currently offering reasonably priced 3-day
mediation training for our interdisciplinary members and others who want to
attend. I have included the announcement below for anyone who is
interested.
Sue Hansen
Hansen & Hildebrand, S.C.
126 N. Jefferson St. #401
Milwaukee, WI 53202
(414) 273-2422
mailto:sah@xxxxxxxxxx ;<
mailto:sah@xxxxxxxxxx>
http://www.h-hlaw.com/ ;<
http://www.h-hlaw.com/>
The Collaborative Family Law Council of Wisconsin is presenting:
Mediation Skills Training Presented by Zena Zumeta
When:
April 18-20, 2007
Where:
Libiamo Restaurant & Hall
221 W. Galena Street
Milwaukee, WI 53212
(414) 271-1155
Cost:
CFLCW Members: $395
Non-Members: $495
Details:
Expand Your Practice -- Refine Your Mediation Skills
Topics include:
* Initial consultation and assessment, including domestic violence
* Mediation techniques
* Role as a neutral
* Power balancing and effective conflict management
* Financial and parenting issues
* Ethics and standards
* Interplay between mediation and collaborative practice
* Starting and marketing a mediation practice.
Registration forms and directions are available on line at:
http://www.collabdivorce.com/events.html
Send your completed registration form with a check to:
CFLCW
6949 N. 100th Street
Milwaukee, WI 53224
Questions:
Call 414-358-9266 or e-mail Greg Hildebrand, Training Chair,
gmhildebrand@xxxxxxxxxx <
mailto:gmhildebrand@xxxxxxxxxx>
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