This is to all those who are on the fence to move from lawyer only CP to team.
I'm aware that different areas are using different processes for CFL. There
are groups who are primarily lawyer only models, groups that are team models in
different forms, and groups somewhere in between.
The Ottawa group is in between, just getting into Team CP.
For those on the fence, I strongly encourage you to try it. It's like
discovering CP to be a good chocolate truffle, but then after you nibble at it
a bit (in our case for 8 years) you find out there's a wonderful chocolate
cream center that makes it so much better (enter the team).
A story to share to demonstrate:
I started a CP file with a lawyer I've done quite a few "lawyer model" files
with. My client is the dad, hers the mom. The lawyer calls me up and says
according to her client, everything seems to be worked out on the kids and we
just will likely be doing a property discussion.
Then I meet with the dad.
Mom and Dad are both still living in family home which is up for sale. He says
things are far from settled with the kids. The story was the mom had fallen in
love with a new man, wanted to move their kids (aged 8 &11) from their town to
New Town, an hour away, with New Man and all was going to be wonderful.
Dad did not agree. He believed the kids would be traumatized by loss of their
family home, loss of their school & friends and new house, New Town and New Man
all at once. Mom felt the kids would adjust fine and her plan was good.
Enter the first lawyer telephone call. I shared Dad's feelings on the kids and
suggested a mental health professional to be in the file from the start (which
Dad had already agreed to). The other lawyer was surprised, but agreed.
Surprisingly, Mom agreed.
Fast forward to the first Team meeting. Mom and Dad had a goal sharing
discussion, where Dad (I thought for the first time) shared his concerns over
parenting with Mom. Mom still said the kids should be fine with her plan, then
the MHP suggested Mom and Dad meet with her off-line from the lawyers to see
what they could do with the parenting plan. We all agreed.
Dad called me two days before they were to meet with the MHP fearful that CP
would be lost and he'd have to litigate as he and Mom were so polarized on this
issue.
They met with the MHP.
She sent us lawyers a summary advising the client's had come up with a
solution. Mom was going to move to New Town with New Man. The kids were going
to stay for a year in current town with Dad. The kids would spend 3 weekends
per month with mom and New Man to adjust kids to New Man and new home, but keep
their school and friends. At the end of the year, Dad will move to New Town
and Mom and Dad will alternate week on/off with the kids.
My jaw was on the floor. The MHP pulled a rabbit out of the hat. That
resolution would never have come from a court, and I honestly believe the
lawyers alone could not have managed that.
The benefit to the children is tremendous. They will still lose their school
and friends, but done gradually trying to make the best of a bad situation.
The value to Dad and Mom from the MHP was immense. They arrived at meeting two
with the parenting plan completely done, and we signed it. They then proceeded
to wrap up all the property issues, and we're now drafting their final
agreement.
The power of the team is sold on me. Stu, if you're reading this, it's another
"you done good" moment.
Best to all,
Elizabeth Swarbrick
Collaborative Lawyer, Mediator
Family Focused Law
83 Little Bridge Street,
PO Box 639
Almonte, ON K0A 1A0
tel: 613-256-9811
www.familyfocusedlaw.com
