I mediate, and I facilitate in the Collaborative Law process in Rochester,
NY. An enthusiastic student of Non Violent Communication (NVC) and NVC
mediation, I utilize NVC/empathy skills in mediation and in the
Collaborative process.
Like Gary, when mediating, I discuss with clients the valuable role of
attorneys. Often, mediation clients are relieved to discover that attorneys
can be included in the mediation process in various ways that meet their
needs. Selecting Collaborative attorneys seems to offer a sense of "safety"
and trust-- clients relax a bit knowing that their intentions to collaborate
will be respected and supported.
One integrated "model" that has worked here is clients select Collaborative
attorneys early in the mediation process and utilize their attorneys as they
choose. When a draft Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) is completed, it is
shared with the attorneys. Attorneys and clients meet, and a "five-way"
meeting, facilitated by the mediator, is convened to review the MOU. Clients
seem to value the "transparency" at the five-way meeting-everyone considers
together any issues of clarification or concern noted by either attorney,
and a mutually acceptable final settlement can be completed.
In a five way meeting, whether part of a process initiated as mediation or
Collaborative Law, I view my role as facilitating a process so that
everyone's needs are met. Having a neutral "at the table" seems to help to
preserve a client-centered focus. Additionally, having alignment with none,
the neutral has the privilege to connect genuinely and equally to all
parties (including the attorneys), supporting each in seeing themselves in
relation to a larger context. In this way, the "neutral" supports each
participant in identifying, articulating and addressing needs and interests
in a collaborative manner. I believe that the combination of "neutrality"
and "advocacy" in the process provides a strong, safe container,
particularly for high conflict or complex cases.
I have also found it valuable to hold five-way meetings in the midst of the
mediation process, particularly if one client is relying upon Collaborative
counsel's perspective to evaluate his/ her own comfort with various options.
This offers transparency and support. Similarly, in some circumstances, I
have met with clients without their attorneys as part of the Collaborative
process. As client-centered processes, I see both mediation and
Collaborative Law adapting (and integrating in some cases) to meet the needs
of clients without sacrificing the needs of the professionals.
Beth
Beth D. Danehy, MA
Mediation and Conflict Resolution Services
16 N. Goodman Street, Suite 110, Rochester NY 14607
585/244-1600
www.MutualChoices.com
"...each of us--has the latitude to live life either well or poorly.
Ironically enough, it is a matter of decision. And the decision is ours."
Joan Chittister
_____
From: CollabLaw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx [mailto:CollabLaw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf
Of Gary Direnfeld
Sent: Thursday, April 03, 2008 8:15 AM
To: CollabLaw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: re: [CollabLaw] response to Cat's question re: intersection with
mediation
I mediate parenting plans on a fairy regular basis.
Good standards of practice for mediators requires the mediator to advise on
the NECESSITY of independent legal advice, right from the get-go.
However, many clients chose mediation seeking to avoid/escape the nightmares
they have heard about with regard to unscrupulous lawyers ratcheting up the
conflict and costs.
I explain that mediation does not replace the need for legal consultation
and that I as the mediator CANNOT provide legal advice.
In view of the above, I introduce the parties to Collaborative Law and then
give them a list of Collaboratively trained lawyers who will respect the
mediation process, yet advise the respective party of their legal issues,
rights and responsibilities.
I have found this to put my clients' minds to ease and improve the mediation
process.
Best,
Gary
Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW
Interaction Consultants and I Promise Program Inc.
20 Suter Crescent,
Dundas, Ontario, Canada L9H 6R5
(905) 628-4847
gary@yoursocialwork <mailto:gary%40yoursocialworker.com> er.com
Parenting: www.yoursocialworker.com
Teen safe driving: www.ipromiseprogram.com
Gary Direnfeld is a social worker and expert on matters of family life.
Courts in Ontario, Canada, have deemed Gary an expert on child development,
parent-child relations, marital and family therapy, custody and access
recommendations, social work and an expert for the purpose of giving a
critique on a Section 112 (social work) report.
Services include counselling, mediation, assessments, assessment critiques
and workshops. Go to his website to read his many articles and view clips of
television and radio appearances: www.yoursocialworker.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
