I hope I was clear that, as a child specialist, I am not recommending a
specific parenting plan. When I say I make recommendations, I mean that I
recommend the considerations and the children's needs that the parents need to
keep
in mind as they devise a parenting plan. One frequent example is that there
be an opportunity to have a sense that Dad is a real Dad and not just a
visitor in the kids' lives. another is that, given their ages, the parents
need
to have their developmental needs front and center. My question to the parents
is how they will provide for that. They come up with the solutions with the
help of their coaches.
I also do sometimes offer suggested solutions others have found helpful.
So, I introduce the idea of "chunk time" , the notion that having real time
with a child does not have to be accomplished by splitting days but can be
done
by using vacation time as "chunks of time".
I also make general recommendations about not counting minutes, working for
regularity and predictability, etc.
There are times I have made a more specific recommendation. For instance,
when a parent is moving too fast for a child to integrate the new changes, I
will say that I think that it is too fast and that the child needs time. On
these occasions I glue myself to the developmental and psychological needs of
their children and, usually, to the data before all of us. Maria Alba-Fisch
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