Honey Hastings has a great idea there!
I was working with a CFL colleague, and we were having a fifth, and as it
turned out to be, concluding meeting. We were down to the spousal
maintenance issue and we put a legal framework on the table and we were
having a lag in starting the negotiation. We had prepared them well but
there was great reluctance in who might go first.
The professionals had anticipated this might happen and agreed that we
would use a white board and brainstorm options. My CFL colleague offered
to take notes and nominated me for the board. So I am standing at the
board and nothing is happening. No ideas. Even with coaxing...silence.
So I began by offering that there could be no maintenance for my client.
Still nothing. Some more coaxing, some more cheerleading...still nothing.
So I offered that the other client could pay maintenance equivalent to his
entire paycheck. He shot right back with "Oh, you'd like that wouldn't
you?" We all laughed and they picked the thread right up and had an agreed
upon framework in just a couple of minutes.
Humor can be very useful if it is well placed and appropriate. My
impression is that it works better after trust is established. Early on in
the process, before we earn that trust, it has a higher likelihood of being
misunderstood.
Directing attention to a place away from the table can shift focus from
each other to problem solving. When everyone is tossing in ideas, without
ownership, the answer often emerges from the effort. When is is time, when
we are prepared and when it is done right, it is magic.
Happy Holidays to All. Remember your collaborative skills when spending
time with your families!
David Murch
Rochester, New York
Original Message:
-----------------
From: Honey Hastings honeyhastings@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Date: Fri, 22 Dec 2006 12:51:39 +0000
To: CollabLaw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [CollabLaw] Friday insights & tips
I propose a new feature - a posting of insights realized and practice
upgrades discovered. If each member listed at least one a month, we'd
have a great exchange. To start, I have 2:
a. As an alternative to a written proposal on asset division, I made up
4 excel charts, showing different ways a 50/50 split could be done. I
emphasized that they were not "proposals," but just to start the
discussion.Chart A used H's low value of the business (which he is to
get) & W's low value of house contents (she is to get). B used W's high
value of the business & H's high value of house contents. This helped
defuse the value arguments as the bottom line difference was small.
Then I did variations on A & B, labeled A-1 & B-1 which showed a
different allocation of business (a partial buy-out in cash) and
retirement. Client's spouse & counsel thought they were helpful & the
group asked me to run some other options for the next meeting.
b. At the initial meeting with the other lawyer, she explained that she
found it difficult to take notes(minutes) about a meeting and
participate. I offered to do them all & have. As she has a mixed
CP/litigation practice & I don't litigate, this has worked well- I
usually have them out within a couple of days.
A happy solstice to all-the light returns!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
mail2web - Check your email from the web at
http://mail2web.com/ ;.
